Is nothingness better?

[PeachyBluebeary]

TW: Mentions of Suicide

Disclaimer: I am not suicidal and I do not have any plans, so please do not report me or this post. Thank you.

Sometimes I just don't want to exist, not in like the I'm going to unalive myself kind of way more of just like I think nothing would be better, as in like nothingness, would be better. I am not sad, and I'm not depressed. I just want to cease to exist. I don't think this thing we call life is worth it, just not for me, but I'm not anything just completely emotionally numb to everything at this point. It is so weird to be in a state where you don't want to die, but also not exist either. I just don't want to be perceived and honestly completely erased. It's not even like I want to be dead, but I don't want to die, kind of feeling. It's just like I would rather not exist at all. I don't know how to explain it. But it is 1am and yet again this is keeping me awake at night. What even is existence?

[exitseven]

Sometimes it does seem that life is really pretty pointless. Like why re we even here? Is there a God that has a master plan for all of us? Are we just here to replicate our DNA? or are we like fleas on a dog?
I just try to enjoy each day and to try and make the world a better place.
You have been given a great gift. You should try and make the most of it. Find meaning in helping others even if you go to the animal shelter and bring home a kitty.

[BetaBucks]

If you aren't clean, sober, off meds, getting sunlight and exercise daily, and eating well, you will never stop feeling this way. Some of us have bad luck where we HAVE to live right to make life tolerable. We can be jealous of the ones that don't, but it won't fix anything. Follow the steps above, for a few months minimum, and these feelings will subside.

[PeachyBluebeary]

The thing is, I don't do any drugs or drink or take any medications. I get plenty of sunlight, exercise, and eat well. Yet I still feel this way..

[DontAskMePeople]

*thumbs up*

[BetaBucks]

Then you're the first person in the world that I've ever heard of that experiences chronic depression, but lives the life of someone who doesn't. That's a good thing though. You might even have some useful insight to share with the world about how you manage to do that. Maybe write a blog about it.

[DontAskMePeople]

Yea but if you don't exist who's going to eat the birthday cake icecream? 🤣


(Sorry.. lame post but hoping it made you smile at least)

[PeachyBluebeary]

Lol, but there will always be someone else, I guess.

[DontAskMePeople]

Keep your head up Peachy.. life has its ups and downs, I've felt like ending many times and tried on multiple occasions, however life turns around and happens quickly when it does, hang in there mate and enjoy your cake in the mean time

[Agape93]

Can be, yeah. Numbness is interesting.

[jahaims]

You are just weak minded