Where to go in life?

[Anonymous]

24 (M)

Not even sure where to start. Been a crazy year of my life. I re connected with 2 exes. Met a new girl which unfortunately didn’t work out, lost my grandfather whom I had a really close relationship with and I’m going on the holiday of a life time in a month too south east Asia.
However I just feel so lost, my most recent didn’t work out because I evidently wasn’t over my ex and we just didn’t have the click. I feel now I’m back to square one as I love being in a relationship and now I’m on my own. I feel like I haven’t grieved my grandfathers death propery it’s my first experience of death and I feel like I’ve sort of just forgotten about him. I feel sub conscious pressure job wise too. I’m in a okay and stable job now with a standard wage but I’m 24 and still can’t drive and just feel like I’m behind everyone else so much ya know! I find myself spending my money on drink at the weekend and getting into states and it jus leaves me with this sense of lack of direction. Where do I go what do I do, feel so stuck. Any advice from anyone older whose been in similar mindsets?

Many thanks

[ohsheeT]

You have a long ways to go so you better pace yourself...
With your exes get out of the past take a step forward into the future and let them go

That's where your grandfather sit down and write him a letter tell him everything you love about you thank him for being who he is who he was he still is all you have to do is call his name he'll be there.

Tell him how much you love him remind him of some fun times you're not saying goodbye you're just saying I'll see you in a while but not too soon LOL you still have a life to live.
. If you're not who you want to be then become that person.

When we were born we're all giving a gift and that gift is choice we get to choose who we want to be in life by the things that we say and do.

Now if you're going down on the weekends chasing pussy spending your paycheck not having anything to show for it Monday morning if that's who you choose to be you live it smarter than that actually be a lot smarter than that.
. It's fun to do every once in awhile I don't do it every weekend.

I know you're probably bored and you probably want to get into a relationship without there's other places besides clubs to find those relationships

And you need to open a savings account when you cash your check you need to put percentage of that in there and you cannot touch it for a year and you will go by fast you have lots of money saved up and you'll be able to do what you want to do when you want to do it but if you keep going the way you are right now you're not going to have anything you'll end up becoming an alcoholic because you just numb yourself out and party all weekend that's not the life.

But here's the deal nobody can tell you what to do except for you.

You have to become disciplined you have to want something more than what searching for and that's is yourself

. Take that money that you spend in the clubs that you're just throwing away and go buy a bunch of peanut butter and jelly and bunch of bread make bunch of sandwiches and take it down to the homeless people feel good about yourself help somebody but you need to find yourself and don't look forward to happen overnight it's a process but in that process you're going to go down a lot of paths some are good some are bad it's your choice you get to choose who you want to be

[menina]

I'm sorry for your loss.

I think you need a therapist. Try finding a good one. They'll help you dealing with your grandfather's loss.

As for driving, if you have a job you can learn how to drive. You can pay for driving lessons and a car. I don't know in which country do you live, but if you're in the USA, then I can see why being unable to drive is a big deal to you.

Also there's nothing wrong with being single. That allows you to focus on yourself and your goals. It can also help you with personal growth. But that's just me. If you hate being single, then perhaps you should start going to places where you can meet single women.

[Selene1600000]

You are not behind in life, you are just in a messy transition period where a lot of emotional things hit you at once, and most people at 24 are far less figured out than they appear. It sounds like you have been distracting yourself from grief, heartbreak, and uncertainty with relationships and weekends out, but eventually all those feelings catch up and make you feel lost and directionless. Start small instead of trying to fix your whole life at once by cutting back on drinking, learning to drive, processing your grandfather’s death properly, and focusing on building a routine that gives you purpose outside of relationships.

[Anonymous]

Just travel, spend money, drink, eat, sleep with women etc. enjoy life.