Hi guys
i am a 23 year old female. I grew up in a tropical farm in an island, in a very unconventional family. I am very free spirited and struggle to be the perfect « citizen » that school tries to mold us as. I’ve always wanted to be happy in a simple way.
The problem is that after years of diving into different fields and losing my dad to cancer (sophrology courses, DJ course, maritime courses) I haven’t found a deeper passion that made me want to actually work in those fields. I have been battling a weird type of depression at times that made me want to stay in my comfort zone and stay home.
My two passions in life are singing/ composing and Yoga. Both are jobs that pay very little money, and my mother has really been annoyed that I would pursue these and not actually work as a vendor or waitress… She countlessly tried to influence my decisions, thus making me waste my time and dive into realms that I hate (selling clothes, and all these superficial things). I like my work to be ethical, and for me to wake up each day with a mission and a meaning in my life… Yoga gives me this feeling, as well as music.
I’ve been thinking of opening a small business, but once again, I have no foundations… I don’t know a thing about being an entrepreneur. My mom says I can’t do it, because I need to do all the nasty jobs before opening my own business, in order to learn. I agree with it in a way, but hate having a boss and getting destroyed to satisfy their own ego.
I am a sensitive person and living with this brain fog as to where i am going with my life, is truly the worst. I worked as a vendor, and lasted one day, as my boss was bullying me non stop. I would go home crying every time I tried a new job that my mom initiated.
what could I do to feel better and clear out some options? Also, why can’t I seem to be able to just man up (like most people) and do the work and get over it?
i feel sooo lost in my life that I sometimes have suicidal thoughts…
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Interestingly enough, I'm working on a project for school and just read this article that might be appropriate for you to check out.
The reason I say that is in the article they talk about people who experience
"Being unsure of who you are and where you fit
Drifting from one job or relationship to another
Feeling disappointed and confused about your place in life"
and how that relates to role confusion vs. identity. My guess is that you might be experiencing some issues due to not having a strong sense of identity and how you fit into society.
I think yoga and singing are amazing. I just went to an operatic performance last night and the soprano was phenomenal. She was captivating. I was completely enthralled by her performance.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/d_ftaYrlz3gI do think it is difficult to make a living as someone who does "fun stuff" like singing and yoga. I love acting, but I didn't want to try to go be an actor in LA, it's too competitive and I wouldn't have fun due to that aspect.
My sister did go to LA to act, and ironically now owns her own yoga studio and is an AMAZING yoga director. She teaches teachers, and the teachers she teaches are highly sought after. My aunt told us "do what you love, and the money will follow." I have kind of done this, and I've done alright for myself.
There are yoga teachers, there are singers. Why wouldn't you be able to be one of them? There are literally hundreds of thousands of people doing these things for a living.
I don't know you at all, so I don't know what kind of person you are, what is best for you. You've got to figure that out for yourself. But I would say for me, if I were in an situation like you describe, my idea would be to figure out a practical side, like a profession that will bring money for sure, and then follow the passion on the side. Like for example, work as a dental hygienist 4 days a week and make $80K/year, and one or two days a week teach yoga classes. You could also go more into yoga, and teach full time, but you might not be able to make as much, depending where you live, it could be as little as a couple hundred dollars a week. My sister is making just shy of 6 figures and she's in a very lucrative/expensive area with a very expensive studio, and she's running something like 20-30 teachers, classes every day.
My example from my personal life is I love traveling, sailing, outdoors/wilderness, reading, writing, sex/massage/physical touch and pleasure, exercise/fitness, acting, psychology, philosophy, music. So my ideal job would be something like sailing tours, scuba diving, adventure touring, fitness coach, actor, dj/sound designer/coordinator (like making soundtracks for movies), porn star, or author.
But I'm finishing school right now for nursing, because pretty much all the professions up above make next to nothing and/or are super-competitive to get into. But nursing is in a shortage, I can make 80K+ just starting out, there are heaps of different specialties (from ICU to cosmetic surgery to informatics), and in the meantime I will have plenty of time and money to do the things I love.
I would also say, you're 23. Plenty of time to explore. I went to a junior college at 17, took me 6 years to get my associate's degree just taking classes slowly here and there. But the important thing was I was just exploring, learning lots of different options, gathering information. I feel really happy that I've done that and continue to do that in my life. I hope you have a good life, and can find some purpose and happiness. But for now, maybe your purpose is to find your purpose?
Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. Feeling lost in life is totally normal, especially at our age. It sounds like you've been through a lot with losing your dad and having an overbearing mom questioning your dreams. That shit is stressful!
First off, cut yourself some slack. Not everyone has it all figured out by 23. Some people take years bouncing around different jobs and paths before finding their groove. And that's okay! You're still growing.
As for options, have you thought about teaching yoga part-time while you figure things out? Or making music on the side to earn a bit extra? Small steps that let you explore your passions. You could also look into wellness retreats or pilgrimages where room/board is included - a change of scenery could help clear your mind.
Don't do anything just to please your mom either. This is your life. Maybe have an honest chat and set boundaries so she backs off the pressure a bit. You'll find your way as long as you stay true to yourself.
And if the dark thoughts won't quit, talk to someone you trust or a professional. They're trained to help. You've got so much going for you - your gifts will shine through once you learn to believe in yourself, even when everything feels unsure. Chin up, brighter days ahead!
Well I agree with your mom there
Before opening a business related to your passion, you'll need to work hard in undesirable jobs to raise money and get experience
I did lot of physically and mentally tiring jobs to reach a peaceful shore at last... not only me, everyone goes through it
You knkw what theh say.. get comfortable with being comfortable.. embrace the suck
You're tough, good luck