Who can tell me a joke that isn't dirty?

[IknowthatIdontKnow09]

[Beckybooboo]

Two blonde girls were out for dinner and when they got done eating, they walked to the car. One blonde noticed her friend locked the keys in her car. She told her friend to get a wire hanger from the restaurant. They tried to unlock the door for two hrs, with no luck. One blonde said, "we should call a towing company or maybe a locksmith", which they did but each wanted hundreds of dollars! The blonde that owned the car said, "it would be cheaper to break the window"! Her friend agreed and added, "You better make a decision quick! It looks like it's gonna storm and you have the top down on your car"!

[Wiredone]

That was funny

[purplepoppy]

Donald Trump is at an anti lgbqt rally and gets talking about how a transsexual tried fool him.

"It walked like a woman, it talked like a woman, it looked like a woman, it even kissed like a woman. It was only when it drove me home and reversed perfectly first time into the garage i thought, hey wait a second..."

[Clear_Skies10]

Fred was asleep in his house one winter when he heard a knock at the front door. It was 3am. He went to the door and said "Who's there?" A man on the other side of the door said "Can you give me a push?" Then Fred replied "Go away it's 3 in the morning" then he went back to bed. Fred heard another knock on the door, and again the voice said "Give me a push." Fred got out of bed, got dressed, put on his boots and went outside. He said "Alright, where are you?" The man said "I'm over here on the swing, give me a push."

[BCRanger10]

If you're doing a magic trick and you tell me "take any card", what's stopping me from taking your credit card?

[Abbycado]

I don’t trust stairs.
They’re always up to something.

ba dum tiss!

[beefcakebradybatson]

Q. What's the difference between Donald Trump and a pig? A. There are LOTS of things a pig wouldn't do, ESPECIALLY TRUMP !!!

[seeyounexttuesday]

Why aren’t there many women postal carriers?

[FunkyMonkee]

Sure can!

[FunkyMonkee]

A drunk's driving down a one way street the wrong way and a cop stops him and says, "Where do you think YOU'RE going?" The drunk says, "I don't know but, I must be late! Everybody else is coming back, already!!"