So um I told the man I had a crush on that I had feelings for him. But I got rejected I'm not surprised that I was rejected but it does kinda hurt?

[lucyvoid]

He wasn't mean or anything told me he "could see me as a good friend but nothing and he was sorry if he gave me mixed signals on that" I'm supposed to hangout with him tomorrow as his friend. But I still hurt especially since I've never tried to ask someone out before so how do I deal with the rejection like how do I kill the feeling for good? I'm definitely never doing this again I made a massive fool of myself and id really like to just hide in a corner until people forget I existed at all and wish I'd never said anything at all.

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆 you get rejected once and you want to take your ball and go home? It's damn good thing men are not this 🐔💩 or the human race would die out.🤦‍♂️

Yes rejection sucks. But the only thing you're feeling right now is bruised pride. You don't want to face him because you feel he played you, he had to of played you right, otherwise why would you have developed feelings for him, right? Welcome to what it's like being a man ALL of the time. And if we dare utter what you have we get called weak and insecure. So at least you're ALLOWED to feel this way without getting shamed for it, on top of it.

Let me break it down for you. You most likely were not played. You most likely took a few things he said to mean more than they did. How do you get passed this. First off, it's up to YOU whether you want to EVER see him again. You Don not oew him that or an explanation for it. And if he really is your friend he will understand if you need that time away from him. Because anyone who truly cares for someone wouldn't want to see them hurt.

I've found the best way to get over a person is 2 things 1. Separation. Stay away from him! 2. Think of all his bad points. I promise you he has them. You don't love this guy. Your brain right now is pumped full of love hormones by your body so it is lying to you right now. So you need to lie back to it by playing all his bad points in a endless loop through your brain. Maybe he farts a lot, maybe he has bad breathe, maybe he's loud, maybe he chews with his mouth open. Again whatever you got to do. Soon you'll start regard him as kind of nasty. It may take a little while, but trust me it works.

[lucyvoid]

I'm not saying he gave me signs that he likes me or not I don't even blame him for rejecting me because I don't even see a reason why he wouldn't. I wouldn't have said anything at all if it wasn't for a couple people who figured out I had a thing for him and if I didn't say something somone else was going to do it for me. I can ignore any feelings I have for him I more just don't like that he knows I like him it makes me feel kinda stupid.

I don't really have a choice I have to occupy the same space as him so avoiding him isn't really a option which is fine.

It's not the first time I've been rejected just the first time I admitted that I had affection for someone.

Every other time I was rejected it was by people who didn't know I liked them to begin with.

And I'm honestly tired of just never being good enough so I'm chosing alone.

I'm not even worried about my feelings for him I just want the feeling of shame to Go away

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah that's because you're assigning more value to him then he deserves. He's been rejected before as well that I promise you. So stop viewing this as he has something on you now. He doesn't have anything on you from this point that you don't allow him ti have.
Also those other times you were rejected, aren't actual rejection. You can't be rejected if you didn't actually put yourself out there.

[lucyvoid]

You would be surprised. I a man dropped his pocket knife the other day and I chased him down to give it back to him he apparently thought I was trying to ask him out so he said " listen you seem sweet but I'm really not interested in you " had a crush on a boy he started spending a lot of time with me asked if he could talk to me alone pushed me into a corner and was so close I could feel his breath on my neck for him to say " I think you're friend Brittany is really cute do you think I have a chance with her"
My self esteem has always been pretty low so it's not like I think he's some God or anything just that I feel really stupid for trying.

[JamesMI616]

I feel for you. I wish I had a list of all the women that I have a chance with. Putting yourself out there is hard enough. Did he at least give you a reason? Not knowing is the worst. Your best bet is to go out with someone you know wants you For sure. You need to feel wanted. Get on a dating app or post a thirst trap and soak up the attention. Go the bar with a couple friends you know aren't as good looking as you and flirt til you feel like the prize you are. You need to be reminded that you're wanted. Trust and believe you are.

[Wuai201]

I got rejected, well kinda 🙃
I saw this guy all the time walking around and he would always smile and wave hi to me.
I wasn't looking for a relationship but I did want him to know that I found him attractive.
I told him he was cute and then I didn't see him for a while.
He's back walking around tho
He still waves hi to me now and then.

I don't know what he was thinking, but if y'all know, let me know
I know, no one has the exact answer, but I'm curious.

I don't think a guy's ever avoided me before, so I did feel off.
Sorry but it get better, it's apart of life.

[InknKink]

What I tell other guys is never friend zone yourself if you're interested in a person romantically. You should be showing at least some signs of interest and setting the dynamic from day one.

I think you should cancel your evening with him and try and get your head straight.

If you've never been rejected before it can be a very jarring experience. Jumping right back into the friendship immediately after rejection is not a good option. It may never be a real option.

It's not healthy to be friends with someone you have romantic interests in when they don't reciprocate those feelings. The level of investment will always be very off balance. And you're likely going to continue carrying a torch for someone you're never going to get. You'll only hurt yourself.

[lucyvoid]

I don't really have a choice and I'll be fine it's not the first time I've had to snuff my feelings for somone just the first time they knew they existed in the first place. I just need to know how to kill the feelings of disgust with myself and the feeling of stupidity.

I won't make the mistake of admitting my feelings ever again know I just need to decide if I want to be the crazy fish lady or the crazy reptile lady

[InknKink]

It takes men years to overcome those feelings. Like all discomfort, exposure is the only way.

[fish5505_87]

Time heals all. If he's a good friend, legit? Let him know how you feel, and you need sometime to regroup, and then move forward with your friendship. I have been on both sides of this, it's rough. Good Luck! The fact that he was honest with you and understood your feelings is a good thing. If I read this correctly. Just my two cents.

[Phoenix98]

It's just part of the game you take your shot and you either succeed or you don't.

[jahaims]

It means you get your self-worth from unhealthy sources

[TropicThunder]

you didn't make a fool out of yourself.

[lucyvoid]

I strongly disagree

[TropicThunder]

why?

[lucyvoid]

Dude I gave the man flowers

[eagle1951]

sorry, but at least you now know

[lucyvoid]

Should have kept my mouth shut