Have you ever had a belief or life plan you felt sure about, but later completely changed your mind on? What influenced that shift?

[ElenaSeluna]

I used to see myself having a lot of kids because I love them, but now I’m not so sure. Honestly, it feels like a scary idea right now, and I think it would affect me emotionally more than I used to realize…maybe this will change in the future..

Updates

2 mo

The purpose of my question is not about whether or not you wish to have children, but rather about your beliefs in general...

[Tarifa]

It's something I have gradually grown into. It certainly wasn't on my mind in my early twenties. But then I met the woman who is special to me - after a lot of failed relationships and heartbreaks - and her suggestion to have kids just felt right.

I don't think you can think about the subject of having kids and dissociate it from your current relationship. Which would lead me to the next question...

[ElenaSeluna]

Which is?

[Tarifa]

For a woman, the choice of having children without being in a relationship is a valid choice. It isn't for men.

So my question is about your current relationship. Raising a child is not easy, it puts a lot of responsibilities on yourself and on your partner.

[ElenaSeluna]

I am single and I am not planning on having kids by myself for sure
It’s not about marriage.. I’ve been married before.. it’s more about the intensity that come with having kids and because I am a very emotional person

[Tarifa]

Women have a biological bond with their child. Men don't, for obvious reasons. We will never be able to experience what you go through during pregnancy.

As for the emotional bond, there is nothing that really prepares you for being a mother or a father. It puts your whole world upside down and redefines your priorities list.

[ElenaSeluna]

I am not scared of responsibility or my life changing.. it’s something else.. it’s about the chaos we are living in.. if you know what I mean

[Tarifa]

Yes, but all you can do as a father (or mother) is to guide them along the path you think is right, but also to let them make their own decisions. The hardest thing is letting go. I'm not quite there yet, but close.

It's not a easy world, especially for a young girl. You wonder if the era we grew up in was better. Bad things happened, maybe we just didn't know about them or were not informed.

My parents didn't have an easy time either, My grandparents and great-grandparents certainly not, as they experienced war in Europa first hand.

Maybe we all have a guardian angel. I sure wish there was one. Maybe it's foolish to think there is one, but let me dwell in my ignorance.

[MontBlanc]

Yes, more than once.

I used to believe that once you had a clear plan, you just had to follow it and everything would fall into place.

But over time, I realized that growth often comes from questioning what you once felt certain about.

What changed it wasn’t one moment, but a mix of experience, perspective, and seeing that what works in theory doesn’t always align with reality.

Sometimes adjusting your direction isn’t losing your way, it’s understanding it better.

[RandomGirl42]

I felt for sure I was "bigger" than this hick ass little town I was raised and felt trapped in and I was sure I was going to go out and make a name for myself somehow or other. 2 years of college, covid, and falling hard on my face into a harsh pile of reality changed my perceptions quite a bit. 😳

[ElenaSeluna]

we change by growing up and seeing and experiencing more stuff for sure

[nolabels]

Nope.

That being said, I allowed myself to become involved and married into an arrangement that ended up being horribly counter to my beliefs.

I made my vows.
I kept them.
My wife very recently passed away from brain cancer.
My life has been restarted.

Cheers! 😊

[ElenaSeluna]

I hope all the best for you
Cheers! 😊

[nolabels]

Thank you!

[Still-alive]

yeah pretty much the same as you about kids. i really wanted them in my 20s but now? ehh im ok not having them.

however if i met a woman and this was something she really really wanted i would go for it. i would take my role as a father very seriously too.

[ElenaSeluna]

Same here honestly
And perhaps, too…I will meet someone and love him so much that I want to have children with him

[Still-alive]

some other sad beliefs i used to have was that i felt i would never meet anyone into me or fall in love...

now i feel like it will happen for me... but im also not forlorn about it if it doesn't. took a lot of introspection work to get over that.

[ElenaSeluna]

You have a very nice spirit..😊

[Simslover92]

Soulmates and fate. I used to believe I found my soulmate in my ex and that we were destined to be together but I was wrong.

[ElenaSeluna]

Your feelings weren’t wrong…you felt what you felt because it was real to you at the time. Sometimes it’s not about being destined forever…just about what someone meant to you in that moment

[Simslover92]

That's so very true.

[ohsheeT]

I believe it's ok to change your mind i have 2 kids and we'll im not going to go there at the moment. For what ever your reasons they are your reasons. And plus are world has lost it if we get it back then yes kids are great

[queenofcardio]

I haven't changed my mind on something I strongly believe in.

[TonyMetal___86]

Don't let it remain for the distant future, cause you're 31 right? I guess that at this point you're mature enough as a woman to decide what you want in your life...

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

What the FUCK is that image?

[ElenaSeluna]

When I see it it make me think how we change our minds about stuff like changing colors.. do you like it 😊
What came to your mind when you saw it

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Body horror. His brain is his face and it’s gross

[ZameerAnsari91]

Yeah, I do also have some plans, but now life us changed a lot 😞😞😞

[Bklynbadboy12]

I definitely want kids 2 to be exact

[Anonymous]

Yes, it happened a few years ago.