My boyfriend promised to quit smoking, but he broke the promise behind my back.

[raabzbaby89]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 16 months, he's 23 and I'm 22. He has been smoking the whole time we've been together, but he's never been a heavy smoker. He goes through a pack a week. Well he promised me he would quit a month ago, and he has. But then at a party last Saturday he bought a pack when he left for a little bit to go to the gas station. I found out on my own, he never told me.

His excuse was "I HAVE quit, this is my first pack in a month, and I figured I'd buy it in case any one else needed one"

Yeah, I call bullsh*t. I hate that he is being sneaky about this. I trust him not to cheat on me and we do have a great relationship, other than this sneaky cigarette purchasing.

Do I have a right to be mad? I'm a little irked that he went behind my back, but on the other hand I realize he can't just quit cold turkey, so maybe he is gradually quitting.

I have lost a little trust in him.

[Yriuqni]

Yes you have the right to be mad .. but honestly you shouldn't have been so strict about him quitting.. you could have just advise him about it ...and tell him how horrible it is and all.. A friend in college did the exact same thing with her boyfriend and he went on smoking behind her back as well.. he claims he does that mainly because he didn't like how she told him to just quit smoking and if she were to catch him smoking she would be mad.. he felt threatened somehow, they don't like that ..

Yes be mad.. be very mad! .. but still he may have done it because he simply couldn't quit and didn't wanna make you feel bad .. but it's still a bad thing what he did .. tell him that its up to him whether he wants to quit or not ..just don't hide stuff from you!

[TanekaBabeii]

You do have the right to be mad. But on the other hand if he did say he was going to quit and he tired and he started back up again maybe you two should actually sit down and see what you two are able to do so he is happy with the decisions he makes and the decision you have made also. Try and work with each other as much as you want him to stop I'm pretty sure he wants to stop but its just hard for him work with each other come up with something yal lboth are able to settle down on and agree with.

[ivarei]

It's really hard to quit smoking and most people certainly can't quit cold turkey so you need to be a little patient with him.

[MrOracle]

One of the reasons that smoking is evil is because it is EXTREMELY addictive. People who have quit smoking and not smoked for YEARS can take one puff and be hooked again very easily. You should have expected him to back-slide, especially if he was at a party where people were drinking and smoking. People who smoke most often do it when they drink; many ONLY smoke when they drink.

What you should do is encourage his quitting, and instead of being mad, be disappointed when he backslides. Believe me, that will be much more effective.

[taster]

Naw should not be mad..or at least not very mad...I still smoke when I leave town...maybe 4 or 5 times a year...you are fine to be exasperated and can keep the pressure on him...but nobody was robbed or killed and he did not go out on you with another woman...(:

[Lupianwolf]

I don't like smoking

but I don't like forcing people to not smoke

He might like smoking and said he'll stop to please you

or is trying to stop but finds it hard

[RayR781]

He broke your trust. You have every right to be mad.

[Anonymous]

I think you have no idea how hard quitting smoking is. Until you have even the slightest understanding of how hard it is, and how unreasonable your expectations were, you should cut him some slack.