My long distance boyfriend doesn't want to meet my family... should I end it?

[Anonymous]

I have been seeing my boyfriend for 8 months now. We have not seen each other in almost four months, he is actually flying in next week. We are both medical students and met in school. Anyway we communicate everyday through txtng, he doesn't like video skyping and I have accepted this. I have compromised a lot. We talk on the phone maybe once a week but he doesn't prefer to talk like that because he feels like it gets boring. What concerns me is he doesn't want to meet my family when I asked him too. He said not this time around and that really hurt me. I know he cares about me, I have threatened to end it so many times because I need more attention but he always insists that I'm freaking out and I need to calm down. I know he cares about me and he is a shy guy who needs to have his own space but I know that family is a big deal to him. So I do not understand what his problem is, Should I just end this or give him more time?

Updates

+1 y

Oh I forgot to mention I am 25 and he is 29. Given his age I feel like he should understand that in order for our relationship to move forward he should want to meet my family.

[CalGuy47]

Given age and the 8-month time frame I'm guessing you met in med school (not undergad) and he left for his residency or a fellowship. Unless it happens that you're going to be back in the same city again soon, you're certainly within your rights to try to move things along. If it's serious you'll both probably have to make some decisions and effort to stay together. I'd say it's not a good sign if he doesn't even want to meet your family at this point, doesn't seem like he's that invested. The whole "stop being hysterical" thing sounds like a bit of a manipulation. Nothing you're saying is unreasonable. Don't let him convince you otherwise. Easy for me to say, but at this point I would probably stop threatening to leave and do it. Maybe he'll come around, but be prepared for that to be it.

Good luck!

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

No no no. Hey... OMG I can't believe these things actually happen. ._. Look, you asked him to come meet your family and he said no, right? Well don't just take that! FIND OUT WHY HE DOESN'T! Maybe he has a really good reason, or maybe it's something you can talk to him about, and by talking to him about it, he'll end up changing his mind.

You can't just take no for an answer and then consider ending things! You have to understand WHY things are happening and WHY people choose the things they do. This is why a lot of marriages are ending these days. ~__~ People don't bother trying to understanding each other anymore. If they did I can guarantee you even couples who end up cheating on each other might not break up as often. *sigh*

[Asker]

Thanks for your comment, I think I will wait for him to come and talk to him about it and see his reasoning behind his decision.

[acka72]

Here's the thing. You want the relationship to move forward. He doesn't. Men are as stubborn as donkeys and don't enjoy it when the woman starts pressuring with, "meet my family, call me, marry me, have kids with me, move in with me.". Agreeing with you would be the equivalent of jail or of loosing the pair of balls they were born with. So all of the "meet my family crap should be his idea." and he has to think that it was his originally otherwise he doesn't feel like a "man" and his attraction for you goes down the drain. So simply ignore him for a while don't text and leave the phone as the only option he has intalking with you. If he can't be bothered to tap your phone number on his cellphone, leave him and date other men. Your time is precious.

[Anonymous]

sounds like he doesn't care too much about the relationship

[Anonymous]

if he's not willing to change leave