When does a girl get labeled as 'unattainable'?

[Anonymous]

What kind of behavior etc. Does girl have to do? Because somehow I get labeled as the 'unattainable' girl on campus. I discovered this by finding a chat between a lot of guys on the Internet and actually I was kinda shocked because I'm the 'shy type' of girl and try to keep myself on the background... Although this doesn't mean I dress like a wallflower I'm always dressed nice and keep myself in shape. I'm actually looking for a long term relationship so how can I get from the 'unattainable' girl to a girl guys aren't afraid of to ask out on a date?

[Anonymous]

Well, I actually said a lot about that in this post, about a month ago. -- link (I'm the guy with the longest post in the thread) In addition to that, I find that if a girl is surrounded by too many girls, it can get intimidating, because it makes it hard to talk to the girl without getting cut off or "cockblocked" in the process. A similar problem happens with guys, but a girl would seem unattainable in this situation, because she's got so many guys already, what's one more guy, how does he stand out, and who's to say one of those guys won't cockblock him, too?

Other things that can prove detrimental, are things like school work. How much do you pour yourself into things academically? Also, do you come across as a giant brain? Do you seem too smart, and out of guy's leagues? Depending what you do in school, you could scare guys off, thinking that you'd be too busy, or that some guy might not be able to stimulate you on an intellectual level, or maybe your studies are something that make a guy believe he'd have nothing in common, and wonder if he'd have anything to say or talk about.

God, there are so many things that could potentially scare someone off, or cause him to think a girl is unattainable the possibilities are almost endless. How do you change it so that they stop thinking you're unattainable? It's a tough call. It all depends on why they're scared off. If you can pinpoint that, maybe you can tone it down, but honestly, I think it's better if you just be yourself.

Alternatively, if you aren't getting asked out, I would recommend you try asking out the guys you like, on your own. There's no shame in it, and I think it would make things a little easier. The worst that could happen is they'd say no, and in which case you have instant closure and the chance to move on and find someone else. It's not like you lose anything either. It's generally a no-risk move. So give it a shot.

Anyway, that's all I got for now. Hopefully my tips here, and in the link I provided you, were of some help, and gave you some hints or clues as to what you could change if you chose to change it. if not, at least you have a backup plan. Best of luck to you.

[TheDigitalSaint]

If you're shy, you need to check this out:

link

There's a good chance you're sending bad signals and you're not aware of it. Check the checklists and make sure to avoid anything that sends guys the other way and replace those with positive signs of interest.

[Kimin]

1) Being shy is OK but don't over do it. Talk to fellow class mates you don't know, smile to the guys in the hall way and make eye contact, look at the guy sitting at your lunch table and ask him whether this food is as sh*tty as you think. Believe me, you make people (including yourself) happy and life gets beautiful when you start talking to strangers.

[CollinR]

"Campus" "looking for a long term relationship".

Change that for starters, if guys think you want to date them so you can marry them they'll way to scared to date you, thinking you'll be obsessive, clingy, pushy, etc. Act more fun and outgoing and it'll be much easier to find a date.

[Swansong]

That would scare me. I've never been in a relationship so the idea of a long term commitment.

[JohnnySS]

ask ome friends for help. ask them to tell whomevers interested discreetly that your available if they bring it up in a convo with your friend. or just notice guys who are interested as in look at them as breif as you however you do.

for example your friend will say something like:i don't think she's dating anyone.

[Janson]

well if you're shy, then most guys will think that you aren't interested in most guys and have high standards...i would think

[smallguy]

By staying anonymous yu are perpetrating your unattanability even more so

[Happy-Plum-Pants]

You're assumed, taken...thus, unattainable