What does cuddling sex holding hands with a friends with benefits mean?

[darkmary13]

Me and my best guy friend ended up having sex last night. He really had to debate it over in his head if it would be okay because I dated his friend for 2 years. Me and his friend broke up year ago but we are all sort of friends and don't want to hurt him. In the middle of a movie he laid down and we ended up cuddling. He tells me that if we do this I am going to expect sex again and want to be holding hands ans kissing more (we don't kiss) and I just looked at him stupid like no I just wouldn't mind the sex sense you have been goof on about how good you are. People already think were dating from the way we are together but we are not. After all that he tells me no emotions and this may be a one time thing don't tell anyone I don't want Joe(our friend my ex) to find out sense he hasn't completely gotten over me. He has refused to tell me how he feels about me but while having sex he kept looking into my eyes and held my hand and when we finished he was cuddling me holding me tightly. what does this mean

Updates

+1 y

I already told him a year ago I liked him and one drunk. he still knows I like him. he basically lives with me and we act like a couple in almost every manner.he diesnt have any other chick and has told me he doesn't get why the 2 friends of his that like me (my ex and a diff guy) talk so much sh*t about him considering he only talks to me and has showed me several times. When he has free time he always calls to hang out with me or for me to go hang out with him and his friends.

[MrOracle]

I'm going to disagree with the other guys, because I think they're making the same mistake that most girls make.

This guy CLEARLY told you that he doesn't want any emotions involved, and you agreed. He was very explicit about that, and made a point of talking about it before moving forward. He sees that as a contract that he has with you that is BINDING.

Having said that, he's the kind of guy who likes to cuddle and kiss and such when he has sex with someone. To him, that's all part of the "sex experience." In his mind, he's explained to you up-front that there are no emotions involved, so he does NOT see this as any kind of mixed message. It's just what he likes physically, just like some guys like BJs more than intercourse, or some guys love boobs and some guys ignore them. He does NOT see his physical actions as in any way suggesting that he has feelings. If he HAD feelings, he'd have happily talked about becoming BF/GF and how you would need to worth that out with his buddy, but that's not what happened.

The ONE rule of FWB is: no emotional attachment. Most guys have the ability to do that, but most girls don't. Are you POSITIVE you have no feelings for this guy, because if you do, you've ALREADY betrayed him and broken your contract with him. Certainly, hoping for "more" from the relationship is going to result in huge disappointment for you.

Girls must ALWAYS assume that any sexual relationship is FWB *ONLY* unless the guy has SPECIFICALLY made it clear that he's wanting a relationship. Girls always get that backwards, assuming that guys want a relationship, because that's what the girl wants, but for guys, wanting a relationship is the exception, and requires specific effort.

[darkmary13]

already told him a year ago I liked him and one drunk. he still knows I like him. he basically lives with me and we act like a couple in almost every manner.he diesnt have any other chick and has told me he doesn't get why the 2 friends of his that like me (my ex and a diff guy) talk so much sh*t about him considering he only talks to me and has showed me several times. When he has free time he always calls to hang out with me or for me to go hang out with him and his friends. 57 minute

[MrOracle]

None of that changes anything. He's made it clear that he isn't looking for a relationship. Your big problem is that you've let him cross any number of relationship boundaries with you withOUT being in a relationship first. You're wondering why he doesn't buy the cow, yet every day, you feed it, water it, milk it, and deliver him a nice pitcher of milk.

Boundaries exist for a reason, but by letting him cross them, you're giving him everything he wants without him having any responsibility.

[MrWhiteGuy420]

You just fell for one of the oldest and lamest tricks in our guy books! He's trying to treat you like a random bar skank! Wow with friends like yours, who needs enemies? He was laying it on thick because he thinks that makes him better in bed, all he did was exploit and take advantage of your friendship and sent you mixed signals on purpose for a f***. However you allowed him to get passed your panties, so it's your mistake as well. Oh and yes it's OK what you did with him,as long as you like to be known as the f*** me and don't tell anyone cause I will get embarrassed if people find out about you. I think you need to make h sorry and do what you girls do best,go tell everyone the two of you know, including your ex. I want to laugh at you but it's really just as sad as it is funny. You're an idiot!

[bruvleigh]

no IM GOING TO TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW DARKMARY13!

oh wait this is a forum site, and of course... HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE?

I thought that's how you have sex... if there's no cuddling or kissing, then what else is he doing up top? squeezing boobs gets boring after 5 minutes.

so in answer to your ACTUAL question:" what does this mean?"

nothing

[fleetfeet2004]

It means he likes you, A LOT. If you like him too then I think you should start dating. I do feel bad for his friend but that's life.

[Prof_Don]

he's definitely getting emotionally involved... and he broke Man Law. Shame on him.

[Jayded1]

He betrayed his friend for a lay. Not cool at all.

[Anonymous]

5 stars and I smell marriage