I notice that more girls are willing to show their hate towards one another, even online. I wonder why that is? How come more guys get along together and compared to them, less girls get along?
Why can't girls get along?
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Having had circles of friends who are almost entirely guys, then entirely girls, then back again, here's my 2c.
Girls seem to have more intimate bonds with each other then men do. That was my favorite part about living with girls. I think this has a lot to do with homophobia directed primarily towards men. But that's another topic. I think it also has a lot to do with guys not being overly concerned with what goes on in someone else's life.
Because of these closer bonds, though, there seems to be more "nonverbal contracts" and "official plateaus of relationship" with each other and with men. You don't just stop hanging out with someone without facing some sort of concern or even retaliation for "abandoning" them.
Psychology Today recently did an article about "the freedom to quit" and how the ability to leave is one of the most important keys to peace. When someone feels stuck in a situation, that turns something that is otherwise harmless into a major problem.
When guys hang out, we either see each other, or we don't. There was no expectation to meet, and generally, there wasn't much of a plan as to how we would hang out. And if someone had to do something else, there was no official goodbye scene. It was just "cya" and then they'd leave.
One good thing about this is that if we ever got into a fight, it usually toned down pretty quickly. It didn't linger, and we didn't hold it over each others' heads.
When I lived with girls, it seemed like they remembered everything, and everything was analyzed far past its value. If there was a fight, the fact that you had disagreed with them was taken personally, and that went on some sort of permanent record.
One of the biggest things I remember was how crazy sensitive I got. I used to watch a movie where a guy got kicked in the crotch, and I would be like "teehee, he got kicked in the ding-dong!". After a year, it became "OMG, the sexism in that is terrible. It's part of the system. They're trying to take men down one at a time by telling us that we're expendable creatures that can just be brutalized and murdered and it's comedy!" <-Which certainly has value all its own. I learned a lot about how people, and the media, perceives men. But it was certainly harder to just have fun.
That's about all I feel like writing so far. But yeah, that's been my experience.
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Guys compete against each other in external ways: sports, gambling, video games, etc. We generally don't compete directly with each other with our personal lives. Also, because we've grown up with "external" competition, which always has rules, we learn to be good sports: to win with some humility and to lose with some grace.
Girls compete with each other INTERNALLY, meaning, using their relationships and their own personal lives as the field of competition, and there are NO RULES and NO SPORTSMANSHIP. As a result, girls are often TERRIBLE to each other, and unbelievably cruel and evil for seemingly no reason.
Guys don't even really compete with each other over women or sex. If one of our buddies gets laid, we high-five him; we don't get jealous and try to ruin his life. And we know that he'll support us getting laid if the tables are turned.
Girls take EVERYTHING *personally*, and everything has subtext and hidden meanings. With guys, it's all out on the surface. If I say to my girl "I like those jeans", it means I'm thinking "I like those jeans." But a girl hears that and thinks "Does he not like my jeans? Is he saying my ass is too fat? He thinks I'm ugly! That sonofabitch!" That's because she's used to dealing with girls, where most "compliments" are really some kind of hidden-meaning backstab. If a guy thinks your ass is too fat, he'll never say "I like those jeans", he'll say "your ass is too fat." We don't do subtext.
I'm a girl and I know what you mean they are so viscous to each other, it's just that whole childish competitiveness, they view every other girl apart from themselves a threat to their so called "happy life", they are constantly chasing after guys and never give themselves time to breath it's ludicris, but they also do it to other girls at work or at college, they constantly compare themselves to others instead of being happy with themselves, girls are just very insecure these days as you can tell with them trying to look like supermodels lol. then they wonder why guys lose interest because most of them also look like slappers, they just believe pushing others down for their own gains is the way to get what they want when it's not, they just act like spoilt brats and pretend they are this totally so called "positive" person with fake smalls, fake hair, nals and tan and too scared to even show who they really are in and out of home, they always listen to others and let them make them feel like they are never good enough. They just always want more and more, never being happy yet they went and pushed down some other poor girl and for what? when they are still not happy... Guys do it too these days to other guys and to girls too, like there is a lot of slime balls these days who try to tell women what to wear, how to act and what to feel, they constantly push and persist trying to get what they want then freak out when they don't like a little kid not aloud ice cream, people have lost their minds and they frown upon me and are so incredibly jealous, both guys and girls try to push me down because they are cowards and can't walk out their front door without their mask like I can, they view me as the treat because I am strong enough to not give in so easily to cheating life and taking the easy route, they just can't stand that I'm mostly happy with my own natural looks, it's just gone mental and I too wish they would change how they act but as far as their concerned I'm just trying to "tell them what to do" lol, no... just offering some truthful advice. I have no friends because of this as people are so tooth-faced, I've tried and tried to make friends but I just stopped trying a long time ago when all they ever do is act like my friend for the intent to hurt me and they hang around me for their own gains.
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Ugh...girls.
Girls are way too emotional in a lot of situations hence all of the "tude".And there is always some weird power struggle going on.OR,they are highly irrational...just look at some of the questions on this site.
And guys are often way more logical in their thinking and there is less emotionalism.
Personally,I have VERY few girlfriends.I'm talking about a very small number that I don't even talk to frequently.MOST of my friends are guys,and that's how I like it. I am able to get sensible advice,we have a good time,one person is not trying to compete against the other etc.
Concerning this site though:
SOME of the girls here are wayyyyy too emotional for every little thing.God forbid you tell them an answer that differs from what they think or believe.Get ready for a tongue lashing.There was one girl who got back on this site just to argue a comment made frikken TWO months ago! :o My response was way to blunt for her and it turned into an argument...or course.
Some of the guys here are equally emotional,but I still find I get into less arguments with them.
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Some women are a little more high strung. And of course, they're usually competing against each other. Men and women just handle their differences differently. Men are usually more physical, women are usually more vocal. I've seen two women have vocal fights about hair, and I've seen two men have physical fights over sports. Both are stupid, haha!
Look at the mob, men KILLING each other for saying "disrespecting". I think humans are the problem, not just women, haha!
That being said, my friendships with men are usually better, more stable and last longer. Take from that what you will.
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Girls are more in touch with their emotions, and have emotions that vary over a wide range of emotions. Some women are very emotional, jealous, hateful, etc., while other women are very caring, empathic, kind, and considerate. The reason that you notice this is because it is easier to notice bad behavior than good behavior.
Furthermore, without the constraints of their physical limitations, women are more able to express their emotionality online, whereas in real-life, they're less likely to act aggressively to guys that will act aggressive in return. In real life, guys can be rude, mean, inconsiderate, not good at listening, and impatient. But there are guys that are also good people and who are gentlemen.
Guys and girls have their similarities and differences. Some girls will have traits that a guy usually has (aggression), and some guys will have traits that a girl usually has (empathy). We have to look at it on a personal level, from person-to-person, instead of looking at people as a whole group.
While some girls may talk behind backs and be very emotional in resolving problems, and while some guys might use intimidation and violence to solve problems, this does not mean that the actions of a few mean the whole gender is like that. Both genders are capable of learning to talk this out and communicate. - 354 opinions shared on Other topic.
I don't know either. :P
I stay out of unless they drag me in...then I'll do everything in my power to claw myself without getting tied up in the whole situation...easier said than done.
Me and my guy friends are too chill to care about anything. Our trash talk/fights aren't personal. It's mundane and petty. There are some guys that take it personally...but they don't have a backbone to begin with. lol
There's two types of girls I know. The nice ones who compliment each other and act all love-y dove-y which each other. And then there's the ones who fake it and are ready to bitch/complain/stab you behind the back at moments notice. It's all personal or about boys and 'woman-competion'...*shrugs*. I heard once that single women don't dress nice and sexy for you gents...it's to one-up the next fashionista/woman that prowls the streets. It's essentially a "queen bee" attitude. Flaunt the clothes, the perfect husband/bf, the car, the career to show off and make other girls TRES JELLY.
I will never understand the language of woman-ese. - 9.1K opinions shared on Other topic.
I'll speak from a entirely evolutionary standpoint.
women outnumber men about 3to1 on earth (and that number is growing). So from a survival of the fittest standpoint, women see other women as competition for the ultimate evolutionary prize... Reproduction
Aside from that I think women CAN (not always but can) be more catty, petty, and superficial. Whereas guys don't really bother with people who they don't get along with, we'd rather deal with what we do like than what we don't, women sometimes will see a person they don't like as an obstacle and social hindrance. So for example if there is a girl in their circle of friends who they don't like they take it as a personal offense that the person somehow is in that social circle. Whereas guys will more than likely just ignore the guy or at least try to get along to some extent to maintain the status quo of the social group
All that said, there are plenty of women who are not hateful to other women and I think as people (and in this case women) mature they realize that the effort of disliking someone really is just wasted energy -
I think it's something rooted to the human nature. For instance take a party - if two guys arrive wearing the same necktie - they immediately become bros that instinct - even if they would hate each other have they met under different circumstances. Yet of two women arrive with the same dress - both have had their evening completely ruined that second.
There's this old saying that goes something like "only men can have friends and be friends with one another, women can't be real friends together but only be fiends with men" - I'm not sure how truly accurate this is but it really seems to me that there is more likely to be that sense of brotherhood between a group of random men than a group of random women getting along easily. -
because men make more sense.
LOL but seriously that's the reason, girls don't think using there mind to logically work out whatever there dealing with, they get emotional about EVERYTHING.
so when there's someone who disagrees with your opinion you get all pissy at each other.
guys either ignore it or call them a d***head and its done.
same argument for why do boys fight as kids? well it deals with the issue a lot faster than bitching about it and talking to your mates behind there back etc.
but as an overall reason for guys to get along? we all realize that although we may come from different backgrounds and upbringing we are pretty much the same layout in the brain, we like boobs and we don't bother with people who won't agree with you - 1.2K opinions shared on Other topic.
Because for the most part if guys don't like another guy they won't even bother pretending to like them and will either put their issues out in the open to be resolved or avoid getting into situations where you have to spend any significant amount of time with that person and that person alone., Whereas if girls harbour grudges whilst putting on a happy facade to people they don't like, this continues like building pressure inside a blocked kettle until it blows up and all hair-pullig hell breaks loose.
Guys are content with going 'f*** him/her' while girls think along the lines of 'how can I f*** with him/her' -
Yeah I kind of wish girls would get along with me too, instead they usually give me dirty looks or even try to compete with me.
But its the same for guys, I heard guys size each other up, w.e that means and girls compete with each other and see who can get more attention from a guy...
I just think this is all really stupid. We live in a stupid generation than what it used to be, I wish everyone would get along with each other and stop competing with one another. There are far more things in life that are more important. -
I'm a straight guy and still I have no men friends. I have lots of girl friends because many of them share my tastes when it comes to choosing a place for going out and I also can talk with them about anything.
Here, in my country, most guys like going out to get drunk or find someone to get laid with, while I don't like alcohol and spending my nights looking for someone to use my penis with, is not a priority for me. If you talk about certain issues or have certain mentality, acording to them, you're gay. That sucks, there's lots of disrespect on that matter.
I do know women who have great friendships with men and none with women. Still, in my case, I say women can make great friends. -
Honey- its a girl thing. Guys don't act bitchy (unless they're flamboyantly gay, perhaps)... but girls do. It's just that simple.
Girls act nasty and bitchy to each other like that... right down to 10 years of age.
Guys instead just punch each other in the teeth or something. -
I honestly don't see that at all. It seems like girls get along way better than guys. To me it seems like girls don't get along with most guys sometimes. Girls usually act real nice to one another but I'm sure their biting thier toungue in hatred sometimes. Anyways I'm not saying girls hate guys but I see more of tht than I do girls hating girls. Idk
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It's to do with the difference between male aggression and female aggression.
In many scientific studies, it's been shown that male aggression tends to be more physical and direct, while female aggression tends to be more social and indirect.
Women basically use social tactics (such as gossiping and name-calling) to undermine other women's attractiveness to the opposite sex. It's all fuelled by the desire to reproduce. -
I think that girls take things differently than men. Men generally know to compartmentalize and move forward. Girls often take things very personally and allow themselves to get bent out of shape over things men would consider insignificant.
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Well there are a few theory's to this. It depends on personality types, some people do not like others because of that personality. Most men will not be friends or pretend to be friends with someone they like. It is also do to evolution and how everyone is seeking for their best chances of having there genes passed on.
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I've heard the phrase...men don't understand women. Women understand women...that's why they all hate each other.
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maybe you just seem to notice it more. men can be just as malicious
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Girls are conditioned to be catty and territorial, I think.
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Because girls understand each other too well and act to emotional to every bad little detail.
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Imo, it is because females are more competitive with other females, than males are competitive with other males.
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The same reason why you can't put two pretty boys in the same room.
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It is the nature of women to be that way. Unfortunate, but true.
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