Why is it so easy for a guy to separate his feelings apart from sex?

Question

why is it so easy for a guy to separate his feelings apart from having sex? how do they do this? they have no feelings from you but they just want sex from you.

Tatiahna · Accepted Answer

I don't think that guys are more capable of separating their feelings from sex any more than girls are. I think it's just that society makes it acceptable for men to get away with it and even a positive thing if they do it so they just do it more often than girls do. Both men and women release similar amounts of oxytocin immediately after orgasm it's just that men are expected to control their feelings and women aren't.

Often times women will go into a sexual encounter thinking "ok, this is my boyfriend if I don't love him now we'll fall in love soon and it'll work out for the best" while men go in thinking "I'm going to get laid tonight". I've had friends with benefits before and I will tell you that if you enter the bedroom thinking "I'm just trying to get laid" you will be much less likely to attach to someone emotionally because your brain didn't get set up for that. It's like an experiment they did when they gave men with spouses and without high doses of artificial oxytocin before going out to a party with attractive women (the study was actually about social distancing in people in a relationship vs people out of one) the result was actually that men felt closer to their spouses at home than the women at the party even though they were drugged with the cuddle hormone. My point is that even though the hormone is in your body it doesn't mean it'll necessarily be directed toward the person that you are with.

jessomuru · Accepted Answer

All those guys down there = BULL.

Hahah, seriously, Men think they can have sex without love but ultimately that's just because the woman they are having sex with is either... 1) inexperienced 2) wants a fuck buddy

I can tell you 100% that if a girl is good at flirting and getting the guy curious, he WILL feel something during sex and want a cuddle and a date.

OF COURSE if you have sex with someone you've never even had a conversation with; both genders won't feel a thing.

Women need to understand the power we have over men when it comes to sex and conversation. If you want to be two equals having a bit of casual fun, then good for you! ;) But ultimately, there is nothing more infuriating than seeing a girl being used when its so easy using our sensuality in our advantage. Just think about the about of powerful men ruining EVERYTHING for a woman they just couldn't let go of.

PS. No offence to men, you are amazing. But you have all experienced the captivating nature of a girl that for some unknown reason.. you just couldn't stop thinking about.

acka72 · Accepted Answer

Sex has everything to do with feelings. Even if the guy doesn't give a jacks ass of the girl he is having sex with.  He is satisfying his ego, feelings of masculinity and sexual competence.  The more insecure the guy, the more important it is for him to score.  I know some guys who keep stats and compete with other guys the number of girls they have sex with.  A more confident and emotionally stable guy, doesn't feel the need to have sex with many many women.  He will look for quality fucks where he actually likes the girl and is a tad more brave to actually develop feelings for the girl he is having sex with.  That doesn't mean he will say no to a girl who just throws herself at him, but he will be more inclined to look for quality.

Theguyoverthere · Accepted Answer

At my age it's very easy because reality is much more settled in at such a point. People are all involved in their own situation. I can talk with a woman and we can have sex fully knowing it's only for the moment no problem. But not all women are that mature. Men can have uncommitted sex no problem, but many other guys are just as obsessed about relationships as girls are and freeze up during the sex even.

A lot of guys can but not all guys can fully separate. I can cuddle and kiss and makeout and fully walk away just knowing that it was all for the moment and that's very key. It's just that moment and after that, we move on. The part the girls truly hate is how a guy can go from one girl to another and have sex with both. The other thing is that sometimes the girl is having sex hoping it will make the guy commit and when he doesn't it drives her nuts because now she feels she "gave up her feelings" and all that stuff to a guy who doesn't feel the same way. If you think about the situation though it can actually be resentment for allowing a guy to give her an orgasm just to find out he's not "the one."

HandsomeRaj · Accepted Answer

The apt, best, correct and most unaccepted answer is - 'Nature's made it that way' :)

Everyone and everything is made by nature in a way that has certain functions. Only humans are the species that 'think' AND question everything that comes their way which has resulted in from religion to the greenhouse effect and word wars :)

Answering this question the way I perceive it, to the specific may trigger many gender based debates :)

However, let's all understand that there are exceptions to every rule, there are many women too who can and do keep sex and feelings separate :)

abzence · Answer

Actually guys don't separate their feelings apart from sex. It's just that they usually settle with having feelings of lust, desire and attraction for wanting to have sex.

Sex and love is not the same thing.

Even though sex can be an expression of love. But so can writing a song, planting a garden or raising a child.

So the question might also be: Why do some people insist on entangling love with sex?

Love is unlimited and can be expressed in a myriad of ways, not just sex.

Reynier · Answer

Well, I imagine it's because when women have sex, someone else goes inside them, feeling OK with something like that requires a lot of trust (I imagine), and that makes it hard not to be an intimate experience. Men don't really have this problem.

Other than that I think there are a number of cultural factors at play. :P

Zerokoool · Answer

From a biological stand point the penis hangs outside of the body, separating and distancing it from the hearts and minds of men. This is why men can want to fuck the first woman, love the second, and enjoy an intelligent conversation with the third. I'm not saying one woman can't fulfill all three male organs but in my experience there's no such thing as a perfect woman or perfect man for that matter, myself included.

Luv2BRealExotic13 · Answer

Everyone can do it. Some women aren't emotionally vested and want a boy toy sometimes. But if you're meaning why a man doesn't feel attachment so easily after sex, they don't release the same hormones in high level 'oxytocin' (being the main one) to the brain so quickly like a woman does when she has an orgasm. That supposedly what makes women more attached after sex.

MatttM · Answer

It may just be better for you if you put PERSON instead of a guy,

cos frankly there are assholes, but there are also bitches.

However biggest problem isn't in no feelings,

it is in deception that there are, which may hurt other side.

Other then that it is rather simple situation:

Do you also have feelings for person you masturbate on while watching p*rn?

BerryFairy · Answer

girls do it too this is not a "boys will be boys" situation this is a Assholes will be assholes situation. I have seen a girl do this to a guy and then when he wanted to actually start dating she didn't give a shit so he found a girl who was actually willing to connect with him emotionally and not just use him for sex when she was bored. Then the mean girl got pissed that he found a loving girlfriend and choked him in the hallway at school. So ya stay away from people who just want to use you for sex no matter what gender you are.

animalwithin · Answer

Its rather complex, but try not to paint all guys with the same brush. I have no desire to sleep around emotionally with girls I don't have feelings for. I mean if I see a hot girl, I'll definitely have sexual urges or desires, but I really have to like a girl to want to get serious and physical, which means I really have to get to know her first. For other guys, sex is not as intimate, its purely a physical thing.

beastman88 · Answer

i have a had time separating feelings from sex believe it or not. not sure what it is, if I have sex with a girl takes me at least a month to get over her and ill still be thinking about her. had sex with this one woman this past summer and I STILL think about her, and she still thinks about me, I know it

CasaNorba · Answer

because we guys are more logical.

we know the difference between being horny and being in love. unlike women who are always confused and self conscious about themselves to the point that it backfires on them.

i know there are a lot of chicks out there who just want to fuck a hot guy when they see one (whatever the hell is considered "hot" to a chick), but since they got that "i'm not a slut" mentality then they try to infused their sexual desire with love.

harveykinkle · Answer

I think it's actually the opposite: people associate love with sex when the two are actually completely separate. I'm a girl and don't think sex = love.

tiredoftrying · Answer

It's easy. Sex and love are not the same thing. Sex with someone you love is the most amazing thing but sex with someone you don't love can also be really great just not as good as the latter.

05Jueey · Answer

Well I've had friends with benefits. 99% of the time my friends with benefits want me to stay and cuddle and I book it out of there after so lol I guess it depends on the persons intentions

Michael22 · Answer

its the way we are hardwired, sex is a need just like the need to eat , regardless if the heart is involved

matrix10 · Answer

because most guys cares for your body not for who you are

Tarvold · Answer

Because we don't buy into the bullshit that sex is a big deal.

RUSHFAN · Answer

I have felt love while having sex, but with just one girl.

purplelavender · Answer

Actually, women have the ability too. They just -choose- not too.

Why is it so easy for a guy to separate his feelings apart from sex?

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