Relationships

Relationship Goals: Don't Read Minds, Read Lips

Relationship Goals: Don't Read Minds, Read Lips


I'm twenty, and have been in the same relationship for six years. And honestly, only just in the last year have I begun to learn to be proactive instead of reactive in terms of my relationship. The guessing game is over, and it's amazing! The days of sensing one anothers emotions and mind set is gone. We are officially on the same page, and the gateways to communication are wide open.


I believe this is the defining moment of any relationship. At this point in time, there are no reservations, no pleasing one another for the sake of keeping an impossible balance between truth and what we believe our partner desires. This is solely because we don't read minds, we read lips.


Early in my relationship, I remember constantly asking, "What do you want from me? Am I doing okay, am I making you happy?" only to shut my mouth and back away, seeking answers and finding none. Instead I would poke a situation and guess if it was pleasant or inflamed, if I should repeat an action or label it "danger".


Today, things are much different. I share my every thought with my partner, and my every question is met with a reciprocating answer. We're very in sync and no grey areas remain. We know exactly what we want and expect out of each other.


How does this happen? Being demanding, being clear as to your wants and needs. Any needs that aren't met need to be rectified while any wants should be brushed upon.


To my surprise and encouragement, this was just what me and my partner needed. We no longer fight about where to eat, screaming in the car to just pick a place only to then just sit in the car frustrated. We no longer fight over the remote, throwing it like a hot potato as we leave the room, asking the other person to choose a show, but not one that we hate ourselves. Now, when I'm driving, I eat where I want. When I'm handed the remote I watch what I want. The little things...


Stemming from that, much bigger issues were settled. Our relationship was defined, our sex became even more amazing, and our bond grew as we became more comfortable with expressing our deepest desires, only to have them all fulfilled. Who knew we wanted the same things, right?


Now, any time I come to a realization, I share it. Whether it be about myself or about my relationship. You should too. You aren't who you pretend to be okay with. You're the you that you allow yourself to be when your partners looking. Which should be the real you. The best you, the one you love. And the one your partner needs to love. Never hinder a relationship to the confines of you vs. me. Read lips, not minds. Work together, not work at each other.

Relationship Goals: Don't Read Minds, Read Lips
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