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There comes a point in every relationship, new or old, when someone decides to bring up the topic of exes. It could happen on the first date, where you are subtly asked admist some other standard get-to-know-you type questions. Or you could go months without talking about it, until an awkward run in at dinner prompts an honest conversation that's long overdue.
On some level, I think everyone is a little insecure about their answer. Either they consider their "number" to be too high or too low. Of course, since the numbers of two people in a relationship are rarely the same, one will be labled as having more experience while the other will rush to think of excuses such as, "I was busy." "I was focused on school." "I was concentrating on my career." And while that very well be the truth, the first thing I urge you to do is to never make excuses for your number. Never act like there's something wrong with you for never having been in a serious relationship at, say, age twenty-four. Never try to gloss over the fact that you haven't had a date anywhere since junior homecoming, because if you don't make your lack of experience a big deal, then it doesn't have to be. I saw many of my perpetually single friends from high school tell stories about their fake relationships in college, to create this facade of being sought after when some of them hadn't even had their first kiss yet, much less had a boyfriend or girlfriend. Then, when their plans worked, they became more serious with the people they lied to, they backtrack and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't tell you the truth before, I've actually never seriously dated anyone before in my life," which is much more embarrassing then just telling the truth from the start.
The flip side of this problem is having too much experience. You might not even want all of those past relationships. In fact, you probably don't. But they're a part of your past, and now you're stuck with the stigma that comes with dating around. Unfortunately, due to society's double standards, I believe this is mostly a problem for girls to deal with. As a rule, women generally have to decide whether they want to be labled a slut or a prude (and in my experience, they are almost always labeled one of the two). You want to be honest, but you're also embarrassed to say how many peope you've been with, and you're afraid they've been with a lot less, or they'll see you differently because of it.
The perfect number doesn't exist, as I'm sure you surmised would be the point of this MyTake. The only number that matters is the lucky number- the one where you finally strike gold, the one that you do all those things with you may or may not have done before because you know they are the one. But most importantly, your number doesn't define who you are. Whether you haven't been single since you got your braces off or you've never been on a second date. Whether you lost your virginity in the back of a pick-up at fourteen or your still holding onto it. The number of people someone has been with is never a measure of their worth. First and foremost, know this is true about yourself. But also recognize this is true of everyone else, and treat them accordingly.
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