The Ideal Partner

[sugarchateau]

To me, an Ideal Partnership is a union of two souls that desire to grow and experience life together. In choosing to come together, they are ready to grow, share and build life with together.

When selecting this Ideal Partner, it would be a waste to base their importance on materialistic features of which its quality won't surpass time. It is best to find someone you can respect and build from there, which requires patience which is a great trait to build when seeking a relationship that will last long-term.

But don't forget, YOU are the ideal partner, first and foremost. If you don't believe that, it's great to focus on how you can get yourself there first rather than focus on what you don't have.

Disclaimer: This is for those who are not seeking something temporary.

First, My Personal Boundaries (for this list):

- avoid physically-based preferences. avoid sexual focus, an ideal partnership-focus isn't a "breedership".

- I must meet the descriptions on my own list.

- must be realistic. avoid too much detail- a.k.a. leave enough room for pleasant surprises.

(Note: opposites do attract and fundamental interests don't need to change- you just love a person for who they are. Not every partnership lasts forever and that's okay, enjoy the experience of the love that it brings while it lasts. Then move on.)

- avoid focusing on what we don't want. It's a waste of good energy.

A good reminder: It's harder to attract love when you do not believe that you are love and loved (by yourself, at least) already.

What I Seek, For an Ideal Partnership (that suites me):

1. Conquered their own emotions and takes responsibility for their life/actions. Thus, a great start to healthy communication.

2. True to their word, takes action and lives with integrity.

3. Has unconditional love for themselves and doing the best with what they already have.

4. Practices the fine skills of meditation, yoga, ecstatic dancing, singing, exploring, public speaking, leading a group or being a good team player and other things that get you out of your comfort zone.

5. Maintains “the work” to be a better person, daily, to maintain personal and spiritual growth: listens to words of affirmation or listens to mind expanding talks: Alan Watts,The Good Men Project, Landmark, Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra, etc. Or any good inspirational book like "How To Be a Badass", "How to Let Go", "How to get out of the Victim Mindset". Religious text counts to me.

<3 The foundation of any healthy relationship/friendship/family- it starts with you <3

Basically, with this list... It covers the basic foundation of a healthy humans mindset. So if you don't meet this mindset, maybe you're not ready for a sex bonding partnership? I'd even apply this to friendships.

NOTE: A rule, that I adopted from White Wicca, is try to not waste energy during interactions with people who do not bring positive energy and focus above the throat chakra.

[alex453]

I think that was a really well written piece. And I think you really got all the important aspects of a healthy, stable relationship. I'd love to share with you what I want in my ideal partner.

1. A best friend. All the qualities that you associate a best friend with; loyalty, effortless time spent together, and many more are all associated in my opinion with the best basis for a relationship

2. Excellent communication. This means even during a disagreement, no emotions are attached to the outcome of the argument. No side takes it personally, and if a clear decision is not possible, a good compromise is made by both parties

3. Healthy personal relationship. Ideally, both me and my partner can be an inspiration for each other. Nothing is hotter than a woman that I can learn from. This is not limited to the textbook definition, but in the scope of life as well. This starts with a healthy personal relationship, this effectively eliminates most if not all insecurity, doubts, and shortcomings, and replaces those negative attributes with ambition, love, and kindness that enhance the experience of being with that person

4. Attractive, both physically and mentally. For men physical attraction is very important, no denying it. We are visual, and thus a woman who takes care of her body is a sign of someone who values their health. Now the opposite of this is using too much makeup, way too centered on looks and that is extremely unattractive to me. Moderation is very important. An attractive mind is one that is empathetic, considerate, and is not quick to frustrate or anger (very important that a partner doesn't blow up if you say something wrong)

5. A feminine woman. A lot of women lost the art of being a woman. A lot of men also lost the art of being a man. I desire a strong sexual polarity within my relationship. Obviously this doesn't mean I want a stay at home wife. I want an ambitious, hard working, kick ass woman who has her own friends and life outside of me. But, a woman who can sometimes just enjoy being comfortable within herself, and allowing me to take the lead, and take care of her too is sexy and I love it. The opposite to this is a woman who can't make any decisions for herself, or doesn't let me take care of her and that's horrendously unattractive too. Again, moderation is key

6. Finally, an adventurous woman. This is the type of girl that on a Saturday morning I will say "lets go for a hike the weather is amazing today" and within 5 minuets she's already packed to go with a cute smile on her face. Nothing is worse than a couch potato who has no drive to do anything new or exciting. Someone who is easy to go on dates with and plan events with a huge bonus that doesn't get enough credit

7. Finally, I'm christian, so having a shared faith with my girl is the most important aspect for me. It gives us a foundation for everything within the relationship. Everyone has their own view when it comes to this, but since I am talking about what I want, a shared faith is the most fundamental aspect of a successful relationship in my opinion

[sugarchateau]

Oh, the traditional feminine/masculine roles! What a very important topic! Since I was born a female, I I find it important to embrace and exude my feminine traits and qualities. In a relationship, I see how this truly changes the dynamic, for the better, if the couple upholds the natural role. So yes, ultimately, I would also desire to seek masculinity since I want balance in my dynamic, with me being the feminine.

I haven't, officially, decided if I align with the beliefs of any certain religion. I tend to pick and choose what parts I agree with and adopt those into my life, from all religions. This would be a soft limit for me. I'd at least require someone with spiritual growth of some sort because my goal is to at least find someone I can learn with.

[Spawnface]

Well, I am glad that you took the time to write all of this. It's good that you understand some of what you want in a distinct fashion. I also think the things you want are good in a sort of way. I would also encourage you to continue that path or whatever it is. I just found the writing of it had some issues. I don't want to bog into it to deeply right now though and it was a pleasant read.

I at first thought that this was going to be a criteria of things that one would impose onto themself. I got that impression from the bold lettering of the last sentences of the first paragraph which I at first like. I also thought this was going to be about partnership. Then there were some following contradictions I noticed. It seemed you were going to start building up to a general set of rules that help the individual become a ideal partner but before that happened the rest of the writing really only focused on your own personal preferences, which were quite selective and didn't really portray much of a partnership idea. Then looking back at "You are the ideal partner" kinda struck me as the whole thing being rather lopsided.

If it had remained on a notion of self accountability I wouldve liked it more.

[sugarchateau]

I felt like it was important to express, to my best ability, that in order to truly seek what i want in life I need to make sure to focus on myself first and foremost. If i'm not that "ideal partner" for myself, I don't believe we can allow myself to expect to invite the potential in.
Maybe you don't feel the same way, but I definitely feel like this resonates for me, for now, at least and I felt compelled to share. lol I really appreciate you taking the time to read this and to respond thoughtfully.

[sugarchateau]

I don't believe I can allow myself* sorry, lol i get distracted with irl interactions

[Spawnface]

Im the king of never proof reading so I know how to pick up on the real meaning of these things. I do it all the time.

I think it's important too. As Jordan Peterson says, in order to think, you have to be able to speak. Speaking is the mechanism which allows us to configure our thoughts and to be able to articulate them. We inevidably will make mistakes by speaking because our thoughts haven't been able to be reconstructed to make perfect sense yet. So thats me agreeing with you there. Also in the same manner, anytime ones thoughts can be expresses outwardly is the opportunity to actualise them and to be able to actually use them.

Anyways thats about all I have to say at the moment. I enjoyed your pleasantry.

[sugarchateau]

I really like your summarized line here: "anytime ones thoughts can be expressed outwardly is the opportunity to actualize them and to be able to actually use them."
Thank you for being so respectful and sharing your thoughts! I appreciate you elaborating on your thoughts, it was truly very helpful.

[Spawnface]

Thank you. Its been a pleasure.

[RebeccaSJ]

If your partner ahs the physical assets, that is nice. It's gravy. But the things you cited are the more important ones.

[GuyWannaHelp]

Great MyTake!

I very much agree with most (virtually all) points. While I agree with your 5th point (that they maintain the work of self-improvement), I don't agree that they should do this in any specific way, like listening to mind expanding talks. Everyone has their own way of self-improvement. As long as they are aware and never give up the work, that's okay in my book.

This MyTake reminds me of the song You Silly Git by Dan Mangan:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jr3bRypOtic

Especially the last line:
"Try to break up with your pride, and start to flirt with satisfied"

[sugarchateau]

I was giving examples x) hahaha but I agree and thank you for the really cute and sweet song, i felt like smiling!

[Giggletr0n]

All I have ever wanted is a girl that isn't paranoid, isn't depressed, respects my right to want a little bit of time alone every now and again, causes as little drama as possible, loves my kids but doesn't want any of her own/more of her own and is just super chilled out. So far I have found nobody like this which is either a problem with me or there really aren't any women in my dating pool like this!

[sugarchateau]

Yeah, i'm sorry sir. Goodluck, try and find the positive if it makes you feel better. <3

[bamesjond0069]

You sound like some new age hippy weirdo. Lol. But you will find a man like that out there I am sure.

I don't care two shits about really any specific things you said. I care about sharing life goals. I want someone who wants the same life I want so that we can work together to achieve it. Whether we share a specific interest or whether they are some certain quality isn't really too important to me at all.

[sugarchateau]

That's nice, I'm glad you still felt compelled to share and get that off your chest lol it just good for us all to figure out what we want and we all have our own weird ways i guess :) lol goodluck!

[bamesjond0069]

Bwhaha. Yeah. GaG is all about sharing! lol.

[sawno]

I fit the list for the most part but yoga, singing and public presentations really aren't for me.

[murdanyc916]

ideal woman for men = no mouth, inability to complain, no period, clean, inability to have needs/wants, inability to shop, and straight

[sugarchateau]

that's cute. lol I don't know if ur serious but i'm going to just take you as a joke.

[TriniMed]

Well luckily your hand fulfills most of those needs.

[Nik1hil]

Hey.. If you made a Gif of you rolling your eyes.. It would be one of the most fucking awesome clip..

[hansukota]

Perfectly written. Sadly its "ideal" and can't exist in this world

[sugarchateau]

Don't let words stop ya from understanding :)

[Ioso29640]

Ideal is a form of perfection, which in itself doesn't exist.

[sugarchateau]

yes, the word I used is indeed a concept of what is perfect. aka what I view as most suitable.
Same with laws, rules... the idea of them is novel and works if agreed upon, ideally... But it's not always the case. It's more of a guideline of a basic foundation to seek peace within a society and it's still highly useful. You get punished if you get caught. You get punished even if you're innocent. It's obvious perfection doesn't exist. Yet, people still desire a sense of stability through things they feel they can plan. Nonetheless, my whole point of the post was to encourage people to focus on themselves.

[Volb3at]

That was beautiful. A great take.

[sugarchateau]

Thank you so much!

[The_Revolver]

The Ideal Partner is @CT_CD

[CT_CD]

Thank you

[The_Revolver]

You're welcome

[sugarchateau]

That was really sweet

[The_Revolver]

@sugarchateau Thank you

[Anonymous]

People say those things but no body actually cares unless you are attractive 😞

[sugarchateau]

You can always change your perception of what you perceive as beautiful/attractive.

[Opinion Owner]

May be you can, doesn't mean he/she can

[sugarchateau]

maybe try not to choose to view those people as being attractive then? I think it's attractive when people can see the beauty in all things.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Interesting take.

[sugarchateau]

Thanks so much!

[Anonymous]

i have feeling i will stay single for ever

[sugarchateau]

it's hard. Time can feel slow, then when it gets good it can pass us by really fast... Feeling lonely can hit us and it's never feels like the best time. BUT for me, I find that when I just focus on how I can do what I love, daily, I am more focused on attracting good and happy experiences. Then my focus is less on the negative. People come and go, and this is how we learn and expand our life and our experiences.

[JohnAlaska43]

Awesome. Yes you do have to love yourself.

[NYCQuestions1976]

I am a Jedi Knight and I use the Force.

[sugarchateau]

Ideally. lol

[DiegoO]

Nice work

[sugarchateau]

I appreciate that :)

[DiegoO]

Yeah, it was very accurate. : )

[Thotkiana]

You make me want to go to church. What a queen. ❤️

[sugarchateau]

Tbh, I haven't attended a church meeting in a long time. I don't necessarily believe in one religion, either, yet... I suppose, officially. To each their own, don't let that discourage you, I just want to be honest. I'm still finding my way, but we all are worthy enough to share whats in our hearts <3

[Anonymous]

Hot tall guy who isn’t a used up fuckboy

[sugarchateau]

If we talking about physical appearance. I view Kevin Hart and Gerard Butler as very attractive men.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh both of them look average to me.

[aa180]

I like chocolate