Things guys need to know about girls and things girls should tell their men!

[hopefulecynic]

GUYS, "I'm Fine" means "I'm not OK".

GIRLS, stop saying you're FINE

GUYS, stop trying to fix everything, just let me vent and then tell me it will be OK.

GIRLS, let your men know you just need him to listen.

GUYS, take your woman out for God's sake.

GIRLS, let your man know exactly what you need, they literally cannot read your mind.

GUYS, listen and respond, it's hard to be open and honest sometimes, we need to feel heard and we want you to take action or we will think you don't care

GIRLS, it's a learning curve, give your man some time.

GUYS, take time to make sure your woman is OK before jumping into your hobbies.

GIRLS, use your words, let your man do his thing.

EVERYONE, stop being passive aggressive, it makes a huge mess.

GUYS, PMS means snuggle me, give me food I like and do just one thing to show me your trying to make me feel better. Don't take the moodyness personally.

GIRLS, explain how emotional you get when dealing with that time of the month.

(the world is ending and I don't know why)

GIRLS, men get moody too, talk to them about what they need, don't go mom on them, or bitchy girlfriend.

GUYS, be honest, finding out what you need by experiencing the after math of you not getting it rather than by your honesty is hurtful and frankly maddening.

GIRLS, don't take things so personally.

GUYS, don't assume because we always do it we want to, it's labor of love, it must be reciprocated.

Blow jobs are to be distributed equilly.

Learn each others communication styles.

Don't text over relational issues.

Listen to what the body language of your singnificant other is telling you.

Stop putting your best foot forward.

Communicate! Most of the time it is as simple as a small well phrased question to find out you were assuming to much in the first place.

Don't get defensive, know that staying calm creates a safe environment to work through disagreements.

[Anonymous]

This is the kind of contradiction men have to deal with in women:

"stop trying to fix everything, just let me vent and then tell me it will be OK"

"we need to feel heard and we want you to take action or we will think you don't care"

And you need to understand that fixing things is just what guys do. We are hardwired for it and you live in this nice, convenient, modern world because of that male trait. Sorry but you don't get to have it both ways.

Pretty good take otherwise. Thanks for sharing.

[Scrambledagain]

Also saw some contradictions. And the funny thing is: that's how it is.

[hopefulecynic]

I hear you, I just think understanding and balance are key.
well like when i said,
GIRLS, let your man know exactly what you need, they literally cannot read your mind.

I would hope that that would be enough communication to let you know when to take action and when not to, that said, i'm calling woman out for expecting you to "guess". That's not fair or healthy.

[hopefulecynic]

I hear you, I just think understanding and balance are key.
well, like when i said,
GIRLS, let your man know exactly what you need, they literally cannot read your mind.

I would hope that that would be enough communication to let you know when to take action and when not to, that said, i'm calling woman out for expecting you to "guess". That's not fair or healthy.

Also I was challenging the contradictions, not pushing acceptance.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm sorry if my comments sounded too negative. It really is a great take and I agreed with almost everything you said.

[hopefulecynic]

No, I wanted to make sure I wasn't miscommunicating, I appreciate the feedback!
Thanks!

[HookingSwan]

This must be the best MyTake I have read so far on relationships. Couldn't be more true. Anyone that says otherwise doesn't know what they are talking about or never had a good functional relationship where both parts actually communicate efficiently.

[SomeGuy37]

Too much, and the 2500 characters will cut it off!!
GUYS, "I'm Fine" means "I'm not OK" --BUT I DON’T WANT TO TALK-Leave me alone, and let me figure this sht out!
LADIES, stop saying you're FINE-I know I need to ask, three times, so you know I care. --I CARE AT THE FIRST TIME!! JUST TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG!!
GUYS, stop trying to fix everything, just let me vent and then tell me it will be OK.
LADIES, let your men know you just need him to listen. As above, just say “I don’t need you to FIX this, just listen!” Try to understand how I feel, and just tell me I am right, or OK, or it will all work out, ok!
GUYS, take your woman out for God's sake. “DUH!! But can you maybe give some idea what you want, or just say, ‘Let’s just find something, somewhere, and like the journey!’ Guys want a plan, if you don’t like that, just say so, and we can work with that!!
LADIES, let your man know exactly what you need, they literally cannot read your mind. If you are freaking out about money, or the rent, just say so!! I can work with that!! If you are really horny, and you are afraid to want aggressive, period sex, just say so, and there are dark towels, so no big deal!!
GUYS, take time to make sure your woman is OK before jumping into your hobbies. Tell us that you kind of want to shoot guns with us! That’s HOT!! Conversely, maybe I can like sharing some ideas for quilts, that you like, with your friends. Just say so!
GUYS, PMS means snuggle me, give me food I like and do just one thing to show me your trying to make me feel better. Don't take the moodyness personally. Then don’t pretend that you don’t want the whole box of sea-salt caramels!! Don’t pretend that sending your guy to buy pads and tampons isn’t a ‘TEST’!!
LADIES, explain how emotional you get when dealing with that time of the month. (the world is ending and I don't know why) A ‘Good Guy’ knows, and keeps track, and lets a lot of sht slide, for those few days. But it doesn’t mean you have to be a total BTCH to the one that is loving you!

[ObscuredBeyond]

Denying a man a chance at fixing something is a blow to his honor. Also, refusing to explain implies he is unworthy of knowing the truth. This is why men get so angry when women shut them out of the loop.

[hopefulecynic]

Thank you for your input, I didn't think about it like that!

[Octavius]

"GUYS, stop trying to fix everything, just let me vent and then tell me it will be OK."

"GUYS, listen and respond, it's hard to be open and honest sometimes, we need to feel heard and we want you to take action or we will think you don't care"

Wait so do I shut up and just listen not trying to fix it or do I respond and take action?

[hopefulecynic]

GUYS, listen and respond, it's hard to be open and honest sometimes, we need to feel heard and we want you to take action or we will think you don't care

By that I'm saying, hold me, take me out, do something to make me feel good. Don't zone out right away, I have experienced that a lot.
You don't have to obviously, but I'm telling you what a woman needs.

I also said
Listen to what the body language of your significant other is telling you.

I'm not putting it on one party here. It's gotta be 50/50

I was challenging the contradictions, not pushing acceptance.

[Anonymous]

Stop telling me how to treat my girl. I'll treat her how I want, I'm not changing myself for a woman. If she doesn't like the way I treat her then she shouldn't have agreed to be my girlfriend, and she can go find another man. Half this stuff I dont feel like doing, if she tells me "She is fine" then I assume she is fine. Its not my job to read her mind, if she wants me to help her then she better tell me straight up because I am not BSing with her.

[hopefulecynic]

Do you, I'm just posting an opinion, no need to get defensive.

[FatherJack]

We are very differently wired , poles apart in some respects , this is overall good advice , too late for my marriage , due to her laziness , letting herself go & always complaining , when I'm doing everything , I binned her & filed for divorce. No more relationships for me... not even dating , no thanks !!

[hopefulecynic]

Well as a person ha gone through a bad divorce I can say, shutting down and adding fear to injury is not the way to live. Wanting to be single is one thing, but deciding bitterly to not mess with it anymore lets everyone know you're actually miserable, damaged, and in need of a working relationship, you need to work through these emotions. Cuzz here's the thing, every good moment in a relationship, all the love, and first dates kisses etc can never be taken, the good still stands, the love in those moments still stand, they mean just as much now as they did then even though you are now being challenged tonlet go and move to the next thing.

[FatherJack]

I do appreciate where you are coming from & I will say thank you for your positive slant , those 2 little people in my picture have to come first , plus by nature , I have little need for people in general , am introverted ( not shy.. I'm a feisty bastard !! ) & need lots of own space , so really I'm not suited to relationships , you don't really learn who you truly are until well into your 30's if not 40's.

[hopefulecynic]

Fair enough!

[broadsword]

I was once told FINE stands for :-

F eelings
I nside
N ot
E expressed

I think this is great.

[Roostah]

What girls should tell their men:

1) How much sexual partners she has actual had
2) The type of guy she has gone for in the past

[hopefulecynic]

Do you really want to know that?

[Crazyced]

I hate number 3. What if I don't think everything will be OK? Feeding you BS will help neither of us.

[Crazyced]

Or is it an insight into the average women problem being of little consequence?

[hopefulecynic]

I'm talking about reassurance, not lying to each other, calling anyone's problems insignificant is obnoxious and callused, unless you can live in someone else's shoes for a day you can't possibly determine the significance of any particular challenge they are facing. Regardless of gender.

[Crazyced]

Anything that can actually be fixed by someone telling you that everything will be OK is not an actual problem. Merly insecurities.

If you don't want your man to tell you how he thinks you should fix your problem, then don't share them and just say you need reasurence. Anything else is just you dumping your problems on him them muzzling him.

[hopefulecynic]

Well, that's the things, you can choose to reassure your mate, or decide to take it personally and allow "ego" to get in the way.

Sounds like you are drawing from a bad experience and no so much reacting to what I wrote.

[Anonymous]

"GUYS, take your woman out for God's sake."

But not the other way around? Alright then. I must have accidentally hit 88 miles per hour, because apparently I landed in the 1950's.

[theAwkwardOne]

Best movie reference I've ever seen

[Anonymous]

*GUYS, PMS means snuggle me, give me food I like and do just one thing to show me your trying to make me feel better. "

Oh no, lol. That is the last thing I want. I want to be left alone when I have my period. 😂😂

[bustas]

you are making new account for this huh?

[hopefulecynic]

This is a pretty good example of the kind of comments that do not help in a relationship, Passive aggressive-condescending and kinda mean.