Understanding Daddy Issues: The Girl With the Eternally Broken Heart (Page 2)
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Daddy issues are generally reflected on absent fathers or emotionally unattached which can lead to some abuse. However sexually abusing is on another level, he's a criminal and that's through his lack of morals not a personality disorder.
There is sometimes a reason of his behaviour (within reason) is that he was a broken child himself and that is through some experience of my own (not that severe).
That was an insightful take and was very brave :)
I actually fell in love with one of these girls, we were a perfect match everything seemed perfect but just before i could finally step things up she started to back out and finally she told me it was better to just stay friends... The moment she knew she wouldn't have to fight to get my love, affection and so much more she just left Leaving me heartbroken. This wasn't the case with her ex for example he would always make her cry and what not and the only time she would felt lover was after they had sex and i just saw it as manipulation and misuse but she didn't see this... But one day i hope she will see what i can trulybe for her
A great take & a reminder for parents / potential parents to realise how their actions may have an effect , I'm sorry you were put through this , I was physically abused ( violence ) from one of my mothers former boyfriends , I feel a bad about losing my rag with my 12 yr old son last night for his answering back. My daughter is 9 ( in picture ) & I feel blessed to have her , I was pleased with her school reports from Parents Evening last night , I love her to bits , but she has a strong preference for her mother... I'm often 2nd best , I'm not looking forward to all those hormones & visits from Aunt Flo , which are on the horizon !!
I understand what you are saying, but I ask what are you doing to help yourself?
I have been on many forums and in RL, and no one thinks that their parents were perfect. Somehow, they were all hurt to varying degrees.
I say get some therapy to overcome this issue.
As a father, I feel like my job is to show my daughter what love is, so she can go out into the world and find the right man for her. I raise her with the expectation for her to leave me. If she grows up strong, independent, and can make the right decision most of the time, then I'm happy.
good take.
Good writing, this is sad. I've just got to throw it out there, if your dad is abusive, walk away. And of course guys are going to start making crude comments.
I can't stand when people talk about how we must have "daddy issues" blah blah blah... My dad was physically and verbally and emotionally abusive my whole childhood/teen years but I'm a normal person. I'm not a slut, like guys always assume girls who have bad relationships with their fathers are. I cut him out of my life when I graduated high school and I'm happy and at peace. im one of the people who doesn't believe in the whole daddy issues thing because I don't fit any of the stereotypes. But maybe there are some girls who do. Stay strong and don't let your dad make you feel like shit.
Also, as far as being attracted to bad guys... Having your dad treat you like shit should encourage you to avoid bad guys and seek out the opposite of him. That's what I've done and it works out really well. you can turn this around and your life will be easier. Also, if you haven't tried therapy yet then do it because it helps loads! Trust me you can put this behind you to a certain degree and life is just so much easier and more fulfilling. Make peace with things and move on, and give good guys a chance, the bad guys are nothing but trouble.
This is all so true and sad *hugs* . You know my father though not physically abusive, was very emotionally distant and critical of every thing us daughters did! So I also most certainly have daddy issues but here is the weird part, I am opposite of the adult girl you described. I am critical and skeptic of every guy out there. I also donot accept the compliments given to me by guys and brush them aside as either flattery or flirtatious talk for sexual intentions. Can you believe it, I rejected all the three guys who proposed to me as
*as I just did not deem anyone honest or sincere enough to marry! Yeah I need help now I realize!
Wow. Parents matter so much. May I ask if you have sought professional help?
As much as I really want to sympathize you with your "daddy issues", I can't help but refuse to since nobody ever gave shit about my issues with my estranged mother (who I never had a chance to meet or talk to because she made the choice of cheating on my father and leaving me and him for another man). Society would pity you because you're a girl but would tell me to man the fuck up and move on with my "mommy issues" in my experience. I guess it's because guys with "mommy issues" are often stuck with the stigma of becoming future serial killers or rapists when it obviously isn't always the case.
No, actually you're wrong... and I do empathize with you. 'Mommy issues' destroyed my biological father and he's still in pain about it after years. He's not a bad person, he's not a serial killer nor a rapist. He's just eternally scarred from not getting that love from my grandma. because she loved drugs more than she loved her children. When he was 12, he got adopted into a good family with a good mother and he couldn't take the love that she gave him because he wanted his mother so bad. Man up? Please, you were a child and didn't ask to be here. The only reason why you got so many thumbs down was because people feel it's a slap in the face when someone brings things like this up on a post. Our society is too dead set on a woman's self-esteem and expect the man to be robotic with high self-esteem, but they suffer too! I'm sorry that your mother was so selfish.
I hate this double standard that a man can't have emotions. I told every guy I've dated that they can be emotional around me because at least I know that they're human beings. I also feel like a mothers love is important to a child, not that a fathers isn't, but the mother teaches you to love unconditionally, but if they aren't capable of it, usually the kid is screwed. Some women truly don't deserve to be mothers. Motherhood/Parenthood is a privilege, not a circumstance!
just because "nobody gave a sh*t about your issues" doesn't mean that the issues you faced were any less grave. the fact is boys and girls need strong parental figures and in absence of them strong adult role models
Partly I think you're right, men do receive much less support and sympathy overall for the issues we face in life. It's one of the downsides of being a man that most women never fully appreciate.
I don't have much to say but this is the message I so desperately want my ex to read. My ex and I have two beautiful girls and want my ex to so badly be that father who can put them first and to set an example to how men should treat a women. Can you possible email this to me if I gave you my email?
Just copy and paste it.
Man this was deep, now I'm even more afraid of becoming a dad. I didn't realize so many girls were damaged because of their dads on here, not just your story but even reading the comments below. Shit my dad wasn't picture perfect, but he wasn't a bad a guy. He was an alcoholic, but he was never mean and he did coach our games and worked hard for us. I guess I'm a bit more thankful for my family, anyway thanks for sharing.
Omg this made me bawl! I had daddy issues at one point but you know I realized it's not completely his fault he has schizophrenia so I don't think much about the abuse I endured or the absence. I never blamed myself and I do think I'm worthy of love. Girl I love you thanks for this I really needed this cry. I feel your pain!
I sat at work reading this and trying to hold back tears... so poignant and true
My father is a good man and I Know this but I feel emotionally abused and he unthinkingly verbally abuses me but he isn't sick. I like you take although I haven't had a boyfriend and dont want to be near men because I am not attracted to meaness I have seen and felt plenty of that. oh well I just wanted to say good mytake I hope many people read it.
Young lady, you need areal father in your life - your Heavenly Father.
He loves all His childrenwith a love that you just cannot even fathom.
Get a relationship with Him... he is just waiting for you with open arms.
If you need more help just let me know
Great take although I still don't feel any sympathy for women with daddy issues who are constantly in abusive relationships who end up tossing guys to the side like garbage that treat them respectfully, and genuinely not out of desperation and entitlement, only to complain why they can't find anyone decent. Having dated a girl like that really fucked me up and to add insult to injury, she victimized herself even though she was the one who manipulated me and used me.
I don't get asked out by nice guys.
Well asker, have you ever tried asking a guy out yourself? Find a nice guy and ask him out.
beat me to it @Kirah I don't know why women making the first move is considered taboo or frowned upon. In fact most times I've gotten women in real life and not on a dating site is when they approached me and made the first move. There shouldn't be any rule or double standard for this.
Besides, from a guy's standpoint we are more reluctant to approach women in public because when we do even if were not hitting on them, some women automatically look at us like were rapists, creeps, etc regardless of what we have to say and hold us to it.
I remember one time I started talking to these girls at a bar by asking a light for my cigarette and once I started making small talk without hitting on them and they walked off and gave dirty looks to me and avoided me going forward. The issue isn't that they weren't interested but the fact that they overreacted to that.
I can really relate to this. My dad didn't start abusing me until I was older but I've had abuse problems with my mother for a long time, my parents split up when I was about 10. I've always felt pretty worthless and I'm always seeking male attention. Very good my take.
You put into words exactly what I've been feeling for the last 12 years.
Spot on. Well done.
I <3 how you mentioned girls with divorced parents don't have daddy issues usually. I hate stigmas so much.
I think it's really cool that you're so honest with how you feel about everything. plenty of people would refuse to acknowledge anything.
but I do have a q, do you think this still applies to girls who have dominant personalties? I'm asking because a lot of girls who don't have issues still find jerks and mean guys hot/datetable...
Yes. Still a need to win over someone unavailable emotionally. They may just go another way about it.
that makes sense... I'm curious have you ever gotten back @ your dad for how he treated you, like told him off/cursed him out ever? do you think you'd feel better if you did?
No. It doesn't help. Yelling doesn't make me feel better, ever. I don't like arguing. Plus my dad is the type who will strike back harder and in a very cruel way if you question him so it wouldn't do anything except make him more angry. Besides I am hurt and sad not angry.
have you ever thought about attacking him with a friend's help and support? not physically I mean. but yeah, you just want comfort...
If i have a daughter I wNt ket anything get in between us.. I'll break my back to give her everything she deserves :(
heck yea!
Yeah, and then again you're hardly the only one.
Sometimes people just don't give because they can't. End of story.
When you become a real adult, you'll learn that those are YOUR issues and everyone has them. Maybe you cannot change your relationship with your dad, but you can probably change the way you see it.
On this site there are many people who blame everything on everyone else. Coincidentally they seem to be all from the US, where there is an excuse for every behaviour...
A lot of the time when a dad is absent in a child's life, it's because the mother is preventing him because she can, and for no other reason except to hurt him without care of how damaging it is for the child.
This is why fathers should have more parental rights than the zero they have now.
not all dads are innocent. a flipside of the absent/deadbeat ones are that they go into drugs/crime because they don't have enough $.
@VampireEmpress I never said all dads were innocent. I simply said a lot of the time the dad is absent because the mother keeps them away. But there are other situations like ghetto banger males who are more interested in drugs and crime than being a parent. But I don't count ghetto life as part of the demographic.