Taking Things for Granted: Relationship Edition

[loveisbeautiful]

This is not just a take but also a question, so it's two things rolled into one. As human beings, we tend to complain about certain things that annoy us without realizing how lucky we actually are.

Examples: We complain about our jobs and all the hassle that goes with that, without thinking how lucky one is to have a job because some people don't have jobs and would be thrilled to have one.

or

We complain about our families or our parents and focus on all the things that annoy us about them, without realizing how lucky we are because some people don't have any family or parents at all and would be thrilled to put up with all those annoyances we complain about.

People do the something with relationships or more like their signficant other, which is what the focus of this take / question is about. I suppose it's human nature to complain about or take for granted things we're lucky enough to have but I wonder if the people that do that complaining are aware or unaware of how lucky they are?

I see on here and in the world people complaining about their signficant others and it's things that in the grander scheme shouldn't matter and I wonder if they are aware of that.

Example: I see women say "My boyfriend is really great! He's sweet, caring, attentive. He's respectful, honest, trustworthy and always makes me feel special. He shows me all the time that what I feel for him, he feels for me too to the same extent. He not only needs me but wants me too and shows me that all the time. I never have to worry or question our relationship because he makes it known that what we have is secure and lasting. He's also super fun, funny and very intelligent. However, he doesn't look like Tom Welling from Smallville. Like, he's not as attractive as him and really he's quite ugly. I'm so conflicted by that and don't know what to do. Should I break up with him?"

Now keep in mind that was just an example and not an actual a word for word question I've seen but I have seen things like that.

When I see things like that, I wonder if people realize just how many people would kill to have someone like that in their life. Where they don't have to guess how they feel, they just make it known and give them reassurance all the time. Even more important, they know they were chosen by someone and actually matter to someone. And, some people never get to feel that in their life or haven't felt like that a lot in there life and would love a chance to have that and feel that.

So, I wonder do people with pretty good and solid relationships with a very good person realize how lucky they are to have found someone like that, when they make those (at times) petty complaints but still choose to complain despite knowing how lucky they are?

Or, are they not aware in the moment of how lucky they are but just focus on what about that person annoys them? Which in turn, would mean they take their relationship and that person they're with for granted. What do you think? I'm curious about this.

[Spiorad_Aisce]

Lots of logic in that take - I suppose there are people who always want more, they come across as very self centred and unaware of what is going on around them.
It is really a human nature question, we all know people like that and sometimes you might get to know them and you find there is more to them but they often relapse into their old annoying persona. In life or interaction with a person or situation, you have to look at it like this - Is doing this going to be positive or negative for me?, as I stated before once you are not hurting or abusing anyone you will more than likely go for the positive situations.
I have gone off track a bit, why are people like that, honestly I don't know, it is a bit of a dirty word on GaG but it is a form of "entitlement". I would surmise that everyone has a bit of "entitlement" floating around inside them but some process it better and keep it in check while others allow it to float to the surface unchecked.
This "Entitlement" can take various forms even including your example so we move on to "faith in humanity" option and hope that person can come to the realisation how immature they are and change.
I suppose at the very bottom of it some will wise up and others will keep going through life wearing self centred blinkers while irritating us a little bit. This brings back to the positive/negative impact on you and while it sounds very harsh but is true, don't let yourself sink to their level by getting annoyed by them, concentrate on the constructive things in your life. That is what I try to do.

[abundantlyrich]

Prob is that we live in world of self indulgence and self gratification. They dont care. But they care to be self righteous on their soap box. Nice lip service but they sit on their arses all day but do shit to help people. Too many of them here squabble over shit all

[MikeGaultier]

Many times it has nothing to do with taking the other individual for granted. Tons of people suffer from GIG (grass is greener) syndrome.
The issue is, they've dated person X for so long, and have probably fallen in love with them. But over time, they start to get bored. Maybe bored of X's looks. Maybe even bored of X in general.
So, naturally they look for someone "different." Even if they aren't actively looking, they're thinking about it. The issue is, if someone is interested in you, of course they are going to try to impress you - they may even put on an act. So, Ms. or Mr. bored starts to complain of his or her person X - what they're really trying to say is "I'm bored and found someone else who seems more exciting."
They then end their previous relationship and move on to the next individual. Unfortunately, once they've started dating the new person, that person no longer needs to put on an act.
Then what? You guessed it... GAG gets flooded with "My new boyfriend/girlfriend is a jerk!" threads (not complaining, if you have questions or want to vent, do so!).

I've learned that it isn't until you find someone that you truly love that you'll become resistant to GIG syndrome.

[RobAtomic]

Good question and I think the difference between living a life and a life worth living. Our brains are problem solving machines that do not like to be wrong they try to find anything that will support our subconscious programming regardless of accuracy. Hence the attempt to find causes and solutions externally, that doesn't mean all of our immediate reactions are false but that we should make sure that we understand before we react and base our reaction on sound principles and moral judgement. If we could only get all people to first be responsible for their own happiness, that would lead to more compatible relationships, no one is trying to change anyone and the care and love become unconditional and accept that the past can't be changed the future is undetermined and the most effective use of energy is to focus on this moment, that's all we really have... Great Topic !!!

[loveisbeautiful]

Thanks.

[MaxAsian9]

You know what this reminds me of? My analogy of farting. To me, doing it intentionally in front of your SO, even if you are married for 30 years, or only met for 3 days, it only means you're taking him/her for granted.

Yes, it may be farting now, but hey, there's a start for everything.

[joeb73]

really good my take: as for your question i think a lot of people do take things for granted in there life. they fail to see the beauty in the small thing that happen day to day in there life.

[loveisbeautiful]

Thanks.

[Walls_and_Doors]

The first error is the notion that you are fortunate to have things that others do not.

The second error is the notion of a "good solid relationship"; if it were good and solid you could definitely take it for granted, hence solidity.

[sp33d]

How is something solid not to be taken for granted? That contradicts the very meaning of a solid relationship.