Relationships

My First Infatuation, Or Something More Serious?

The quest for my first ever infatuation or maybe crush let me enter into this GaG Community and I am very grateful for that. But other than this, it had very adverse effects in my life. My age seems minor, but would you believe my experience? Maybe it was love, or crush, or mere infatuation, who knows? But the most important is it taught me what I was to be taught a lot ago. This is the reason why I still remember the time when she first came to my school.


My First Infatuation; Or Something More Serious?

Call it her face; call it her eyes, but she was herself very special to me. I did neither know about crush, nor about sex at that time, or the process of making babies. My story is about the tale of the story without knowing that it would be a story.



“She is so perfect for you” – they would say in secret when I would be sitting in the corner of the classroom just talking to my friends. I tried my best not to show that I liked her so much. In turn of this expression hidden, many people, among whom some were my friends, came closer while I just stayed in that corner. I declined my love to everyone; even did I state that I hated her more than anyone else; only for the sake of ensuring that they wouldn't feature me between them as a lover. Also, I wanted the story as less spread as it could.



In opposition to this, the first time she came school, she always kept staring at me, as if she was also crushing into me. This staring moment always followed with a smile and a return smile by me which would create an environment of bonding and friendship. Whenever someone made a joke, she would be the one to state at me and laugh.



Days followed by in this algorithm, it was now turning almost into one year and a half, we had become friends without actually saying that we were in a friendship, or without stating each other as such. Still we would talk rarely and never had exchanged any social or contact information. We were very casual. One day she gave me a hint that she had created an account in a social networking site and coincidently, I already had an account in that. I watched her profile every day but didn’t dare to send her a friend request or a message.



Then came he, who was already my friend but I didn’t know that he liked her. I told him about her account in that social network and he sent her a friend request and maybe also a message. I didn’t know that he would be so not-shy. We had a mutual friend now who facilitated the conversation in between the comments. One day, she messaged me and asked me to befriend her. We chatted for hours. After that, she would be the one who would tell about all her thoughts first to me.



Things suddenly had become better and this continued for almost two years. But this story doesn’t end so sweetly. My friend told me that both had committed to themselves, which I would be jealous of, he thought. I didn’t show the slightest surprise or jealousy in this, but my inside was like really broken.



Our bonding and friendship started to deteriorate and now I am here, writing, with new ideas, new ideals and a fresh aim, to do what I always wanted, study and fulfill my destiny. My story always deserved a bitter ending because I always stayed back, longing for her to come to me. I got her signs but forgot to send her signs that I loved her. Could it have been better? Yes, it might have. I have no exact answer to the question. No one gets a second chance, right?



And this is what makes life full of mysteries. Maybe one day again, history shall repeat itself to me, and then, my mistakes would be corrected and I shall get what I shall deserve. This story really taught me a lot. Not only one; but a book full of lessons that I appreciate I learned; rather than getting into the net of this relationship and losing my chance to dig for the pillar of failure, which will one day also become the pillar of success.



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My First Infatuation, Or Something More Serious?
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