I believe in love at first sight. Because I believe that love is something that changes over time. It can grow or fade, but either way, there is always a start to that love. It begins as a connection is made, and sometime that’s just the first time you look into someone’s eyes and really see them seeing you. When I talk about “Love at First Sight” in the romantic way, it’s because I’ve definitely had those moments with many women. It doesn’t always blossom, or even go beyond that single glance sometimes. But there have been times where it has, that connection just keeps growing and opening up more and more of ourselves, sharing deeper and more vulnerable, more honest.
This is one of the reasons I am polyamorus. I don’t want someone I am in love with refusing to look anyone else too deeply in the eyes. I don’t think it’s a loving act to ask someone to be closed off to connecting with others too deeply. I think those beautiful little sprouts of love are all unique, and should be nurtured with as much as we naturally feel inclined to give.
This perspective about the unique nature of individual connections is also why I both honor virginity, but also am not hung up on it. A person’s first time having sex is a rite of passage, and it is an honor to be the person they choose to share it with. But if she’s not a virgin, I feel like we are still are experiencing our first time, as the two of us have never made this connection between the two of us, two unique souls in a unique pairing that has never occurred before. That’s also an honor, and a special occasion of our “virginity”.