Love at First Sight

[zeitgeist057]

I believe in love at first sight. Because I believe that love is something that changes over time. It can grow or fade, but either way, there is always a start to that love. It begins as a connection is made, and sometime that’s just the first time you look into someone’s eyes and really see them seeing you. When I talk about “Love at First Sight” in the romantic way, it’s because I’ve definitely had those moments with many women. It doesn’t always blossom, or even go beyond that single glance sometimes. But there have been times where it has, that connection just keeps growing and opening up more and more of ourselves, sharing deeper and more vulnerable, more honest.

This is one of the reasons I am polyamorus. I don’t want someone I am in love with refusing to look anyone else too deeply in the eyes. I don’t think it’s a loving act to ask someone to be closed off to connecting with others too deeply. I think those beautiful little sprouts of love are all unique, and should be nurtured with as much as we naturally feel inclined to give.

This perspective about the unique nature of individual connections is also why I both honor virginity, but also am not hung up on it. A person’s first time having sex is a rite of passage, and it is an honor to be the person they choose to share it with. But if she’s not a virgin, I feel like we are still are experiencing our first time, as the two of us have never made this connection between the two of us, two unique souls in a unique pairing that has never occurred before. That’s also an honor, and a special occasion of our “virginity”.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I hesitate about the prospect since I suspect such a strong feeling formed so soon must necessarily fantasize to some degree about who the person might be in ways that could easily turn out to be incorrect.

Perhaps it depends on the degree of adaptability of the one who fell in love at first sight has when expectations turn out to be wrong, skill in assessing people correctly at a glance, and also maybe a great degree of luck.

I seem to be absent one or more of those since every woman I dated in my youth for whom I practically fell in love at first sight, she defied my expectations in too jarring of ways. I came to realize that I fell in love with an idea of who she was that wasn't even close to who she actually was.

It wasn't until I learned to fall in love a whole love more slowly that I started to find truly compatible partners, and ultimately my wife in the end.

[whistlingwh0res]

It’s called boner

[RespectfulGuy]

I truly believe in love at first sight. This is because my wife and I got together after first acquaintance, dated for 3 months, and married 6 more months later. This married lasts 28 years and counting.

And I agree that the sharing of first sex is special because we saved our virginity until marriage. And we live a sex-filled life for decades. Today, despite failing health, we still talk about how to improve our sex life.

Hence I think I agree with your writings. A thumbs up.

[Purpleronnie]

in my opinion , love at first sight CANNOT exist. I’d worry about your grasp of the meaning of love should you disagree !. If love truly exists ever between 2 people , for it to mean anything at all it would have to be come from a deep understanding of yourself and who that person is , you would at least need to define why you loved them. So by a glance you would define this how? By the colour of hair? The type of shoes they wear? .. oh wait no.. The perfume / aftershave? Surely these things are almost completely arbitrary. From attraction love can be fostered sure but let’s be clear love is not the start !

[zeitgeist057]

What is your understanding of "the meaning of love"? How do you define love?

[Purpleronnie]

Having been fortunate enough to chose the girls and women who are worthy of my love in my adult life I can say that there are cornerstones that help me define when I feel loved and how I show my love. These are are fundamentals like , support , understanding , empathy, caring , respect , attachment, affection , selflessness , trust , need to name a few. Many of us are taught these by our peers , parents and caregivers. Most also learn by making mistakes , others don’t get the role models or the and end up causing hurt. But I beleive we all learn to love our focus , needs and wants also changing as we mature and become a little wiser. I think the most of can agree on the fundamentals at least those of us that feel they have come close to what love means to them but we will never truly define it

[Caroline91]

I never really thought about the idea of love at first sight... until it happened. It was a blind date set up by my brother, of all people. I was 17 and he was 20. I walked into the living room, saw him sitting there and could hardly breathe. He stood up and reached his hand out to me. I put my hand in his and we walked out the door together. It felt like my hand belonged in his, I was completely relaxed and comfortable, as if I had known him all my life. He later told me the experience was identical for him, too. He wasn't the best looking guy I had ever gone out with, but he was the only one that immediately felt like coming home. It was like seeing beyond each other faces right into the others' soul... immediate recognition. I didn't know all the details yet, but I knew exactly who he was at a profound level.

[godfatherfan]

If you believe in love at first sight, you have never truly been in love before. Love for a significant other means, if they were gone, you would feel like a part of your soul was ripped out. You would greave heavily and you would have a period where you may feel like you can't go on. Things of that nature. That being said, it is impossible to have "love at first sight". You can have lust at first sight, certainly. You can have "I feel a deep attraction and connection" kinda thing at first sight. But love? nope. Not real love.

[naartjie]

It’s called attraction, not love. Some would even call it lust.

[Passerby2]

Attraction is what love is. What else is love to you? Duty? Duty isn't love

[naartjie]

Lust and love aren’t the same thing buddy

[Passerby2]

Yeah they are. Compassion + lust = love. Compassion + disgust = pity. If you don't have lust you don't have love.

[zeitgeist057]

@naartjie what is your definition of love?

[AnusNdaPainus]

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

LOVE ENDURES!

[Daniela1982]

Is that 1 Corinthians 10:13?

[AnusNdaPainus]

@Daniela1982 no Corinthians 10:13 is the one I frequently bring up when discussing self deletion

Because if god won’t let you be tempted beyond what you can bear why do people commit Self murder?

[Daniela1982]

Well, I was close... 😃

[msc545]

Nope. You are confusing a neurochemical reaction with emotions. They are actually different. One big difference. Is that over time the neurochemical reaction will dissipate leaving you feeling empty and wondering what the hell you were thinking at the time.

[exitseven]

I think love at first sight does exist. It can be heartbreaking

[SolitarySolace]

You know what? I do hope love at first sight is a thing and I hope a woman has that with me so I can fucking crush her heart into dust and leave her there on her knees to sob as I return home to my cat

[LiamJHayden]

I believe in infatuation at first site. Yes, that infatuation can develop into more over time, but I will never believe that it starts out as love.

[Biya123]

Yes you can feel emotional attraction at first sight but thats not love.

[Passerby2]

Yes it is

[puurikke]

@Passerby2 No, love is more that the first emotional attraction. It can grow into love, but love is a lot more. Love is the most intense feeling of longing and attraction. Love is the feeling that he/she is the puzzle piece you've been missing for forever.

If you feel this in the first minute of seeing someone we call that stalking and you might have to talk to a professional about it.

[Passerby2]

Love is attraction. Period. You can argue all you want but nobody is entertaining someone they aren't attracted to. When attraction dies "love" dies.

[Bricealan]

I believe in 'mutual attraction' at first sight, not love, per se

[genericname85]

love at first sight only exists in hinsight. it can't be a prediction. thus in my opinion the entire concept is useless.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes, I believe in love at first sight.

[Paul09]

I do not believe in that. You could definitely have a strong attraction, but love , not really. You'd have to hot the love jackpot , Maybe?

[Anonymous]

Logically if you love someone at first sight, its got to be infatuation.

[Quigly]

There is no such thing as love at first site. That's called infatuation.

[Dongie]

Definitely. My mother said it was so for her and my dad.

[DagonbroughtMehere]

Love at first sight to Me is at best a Base behavior and at worst a fool's response.

[Miraclebabys]

If you could feel the connection with somebody the first time you see them and you know they won’t hurt you love at first sight