Relationships

Looking Into The Mind of a *Loner*

We live in an incredibly social age. Yes, we lack a consistency of interaction with the same people and relationships in general are deteriorating. However, never have loners had their strangeness to the norm been thrown so aggressively in their faces as they have now. This take is for loners to understand themselves and probably won't make a lot of sense to non-loner types...



Loners Are Rolling Stones...


Looking Into The Mind of a *Loner*


A loner doesn't typically value relationships in the way most people do. The only consistent social relationship they have in their lives in with themselves and this is usually by choice. An ideal world for a loner is to be an incredible person at least once every single day. In this way, loners are more sociable than your average person that likes to stay with their set of friends and only add new people to their lives every once and a while. A loner, then, loves constantly having his or her environment replaced by a new one. It's a rebirth and an opportunity for a new adventure...



Loners Don't Realize How Hard They Are To Get To Know...


Looking Into The Mind of a *Loner*


Loners don't typically realize that other people would love to get to know them if they only felt they stood a chance. A real loner will have a love affair with his/her earphones. A real loner will do his/her best to end nonessential conversations quickly. A real loner will lack the patience or desire to open up and expose vulnerabilities to others. As such, a loner might complain that they feel on the outside of things and yet be totally unaware to the idea that it's mainly because of themselves.



Loners Go Back And Forth Between Being The Best Lovers/Friends to Being The Worst


Looking Into The Mind of a *Loner*


A Loner has a lot of mental space to invest into someone. They aren't divided--they are all in. However, a loner, by nature, is singular and so they may feel a strong desire to be left alone and/or sabotage relationships that are very intimate in a subconscious desire to be alone again. The key here is to be equally independent and yet available to the loner. Chances are they won't hit you up that often anyway.



Loners Typically Ask Themselves If They're Shy


Looking Into The Mind of a *Loner*


It's the natural conclusion to assume you're shy if you're a loner. In the age of Facebook, those who choose being alone over being with friends must be shy right? Add to this the fact that if you're a loner, chances are you've had less social experiences than a social butterfly and so you really aren't that great around people during those rare times you choose to interact. The answer lies in what the loner truly wants. Do they fantasize about being the life of the party or do they really want it? If they actually can consider their lives being constantly surrounded by people a majority of the time they are not really loners.



Loners Tend To Carry A Lot of Guilt For What They Are Instead of Glory



Looking Into The Mind of a *Loner*


I live my life by one single mantra, "Being x doesn't make you a loser, apologizing for being x makes you a loser." Here, obviously, x is being a loner but it applies to any identity that makes people feel bad about themselves. Apologizing in the form of guilt or regret for simply being yourself is pathetic because it truly mean to yourself to tell you that you're wrong to be a certain way and someone else is right. Furthermore, people love and respect loners just like anyone else if they are happy and secure in it, but will try to convince loners to make more friends if they smell even a whiff of self doubt and self-shame. I don't know many loners since loners by definition don't meet many people, but from those I have I've often noticed at least a small level of shame and misunderstanding of the glory of being a loner. You are the ultimate independent person. You are free.

Looking Into The Mind of a *Loner*
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