Relationships

Why He Won’t Commit To You, Part 2

No matter how long I live, this question keeps reoccurring: why won’t he just commit? My last take on this (Why He Won't Commit: Part 1) touched on some reasons why guys run away from relationships. Apart from guys having little incentive to commit, however, men are also afraid of being a means to an end.

1. Lifestyle

Many men know that when they reach a certain status in society that they will be attractive to more women. When a guy reaches a certain status, however, he now must ask the question, “does this girl like me for me or does she like me for my lifestyle?” Gold-diggers are an obvious example of girls who date for lifestyle, but other girls date for lifestyle in more subtle ways. Some women become accustomed to gifts, trips or frequent celebrations. These women may have not come in to the relationship wanting to extract such perks from a man. Nonetheless, a man may find that the girl starts to expect such perks and that the relationship itself starts to depend on his distribution of such perks in lieu of their connection to one another.

Why He Won’t Commit To You, Part 2

2. Marriage

Many women, since they were little girls, have been dreaming of their wedding day. Some women’s parents constantly nag them asking, “when are you going to get married?” Some women even feel left out when their friends are getting married while they remain single. Men are all too aware of such pressures and aspirations. Therefore, many men like to tread carefully with a woman until they know that the woman is truly in love with them due to the man’s personality.

Men’s awareness of a woman’s pressures and aspirations is part of the reason men respond so unfavorably to ultimatums concerning marriage (or any commitment, for that matter). Many guys tell themselves, “If she is truly in this relationship for me, then she shouldn’t be so worried about labeling the relationship.” Labels do matter, in fact, but many men think that getting hung up on labels to the point of hurting the relationship is questionable and counter-productive.

Why He Won’t Commit To You, Part 2

3. Children

In the same way that many women have been dreaming about their marriage since childhood, many have also dreamed of their future family. The difference here, however, is that biology also comes into play. Women only have so much time to have children of their own. Therefore, men become increasingly weary to commit to a woman who wants children in the near future. Some men may see themselves as merely the best baby factory available and not as a partner who the woman cherishes. Admittedly, the desire to have a family is something that becomes more pressing as we age. Nonetheless, the motivation to have a family is present for most people, to some degree, during our dating years.

Why He Won’t Commit To You, Part 2

In sum, guys want to be appreciated for their personality, in and of itself. Guys don’t want to be with you so they can give you la vida loca; they don’t want to be with you so they can put a ring on it, and they don’t want to be with you because they see some ladies tonight that should be having their baby . . . baby.

Why He Won’t Commit To You, Part 2
Post Opinion