Are you in a long term relationship that's been going on for years that has you scratching your head and asking "why won't they marry me already?" I mean, what's the deal? Are you not worthy? Are they?
Now there are actually some really good reasons to wait to get married or not get married at all. I don't think everyone should just dive head first into marriage after 5+ years. For example:
1. You are financially unstable. We all know that one of the major reasons for divorce is fighting over money. I know a few friends who waited for this reason and it's a good one. Why bring money woes into your marriage if you don't have to. Life is stressful enough, and you don't need another stressor. Also wanting to get married and be able to pay for it yourselves, also a good one to wait for if you don't want to just settle for the whole court house one and done thing.
2. One or both of you are young. We do a lot of dumb things when we're young and in love but if you're one of the smarter ones that think, maybe we should live a little life first before we commit for the rest of it, and mature and grow a bit, for sure, wait.
3. You're in a long distance relationship. If your bae is overseas or lives in another state, makes absolute sense that maybe you should wait until you actually are able to see and potentially live with one another long term before you tie the knot. Things are a lot different when all you're doing is communicating by phone and social media vs. dealing with one another on the daily.
4. You haven't finished school yet/found a job. As with the financial reason, getting an education can be stressful and so is trying to find that job afterwards. Dedicating your time to concentrating on that can definitely benefit you as a couple in the long run because you're not getting distracted by wedding planning or anything else, but walking down a different type of aisle to better prepare for your future together; totally commendable.
5. You never wanted to get married. You made it clear from day one of dating or early on in your relationship with this person that marriage is not in your future, nor will it ever be. If you let your partner know this from the jump and they ignored exactly what you told them and they thought they could change you, that is on them 100%!
...but then there are the rest of you. What are you waiting for? I literally don't get it. What don't you know about a person after five years, especially if you've been living with them and have met their family and friends, have had the fights, have had the ups and downs. If you're secure in that you are with them and only them and you don't want to leave them, why not accept or put a ring on it?
How is it after five plus years, you don't know if you want to be with this person for the rest of your life? BEFORE YOU SAY, NOT EVERYONE NEEDS A PIECE OF PAPER, SEE NUMBER 5 ABOVE! I feel like both men and women in these situations are constantly looking for an out. Maybe you've been hurt really badly before and keep projecting that past hurt on your current partner. Maybe you don't fully trust your partner for your own imagined reasons. If you're in constant fear of your partner in relation to your bank account, that means you don't trust your partner fully. Maybe you're the problem and you're cheating on them and "don't want to ruin a good thing" or have other personal issues. Maybe you are just hanging around in your relationship out of convenience/laziness rather than love. Maybe it's knowing you can pack up and leave at any moment for any reason. All of these reasons all basically boil down to fear of commitment, not dealing with your personal issues, or leading the other person on.
I think it's definitely unfair for one's partner to shame the other who is in one of these relationships outside of number 5 and the rest of the reasons above, for asking their partner after the long term mark, why won't you marry me? I personally would certainly not want to be in a relationship where I felt like the other person was always looking for something else, or thinking, they can just leave at any moment. I would not like feeling like they actually do not trust or love me fully. If you know you want to get married, and you've been asking for a while, or your partner gets defensive every time you do ask, you might want to think long and hard if it's worth it to stick around another 5+ years. There is nothing wrong with knowing what you want, such as marriage, and wanting to have that be a part of your relationship with your partner.
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