Guy's Behavior

Why He Won’t Commit to You, Part 3: You’re Meh

Introduction

Not committing to women you date extensively is often viewed as immature, or even cowardly, to many. And while I agree that knowingly leading someone on is rude, many men don’t start an encounter wanting to lead a girl on. Even if they end up doing so, a lot of guys are unaware that they’re leading a girl on while they’re doing it. Truthfully, sex is a difficult thing for many men to obtain, so we’re reluctant to let it go after we’ve obtained a steady supply of it. Most guys, however, (if they aren’t talking to you for the sole reason of having sex) want a genuine connection with a woman. They don’t want to cycle through countless women, even if that’s what media suggests: women take labor, time, stress, skill, etc. to obtain, and a man wants to save his resources for himself and those he cherishes, not random thots looking for free meals . . . which brings me to my first point:

1. Girls can be pieces of shit too
This point needs to be made because it is made to men on a regular basis: y’all ain’t shit (just like men :-)). Men aren’t the only ones who cheat, physically abuse, give STI’s, are mooches, etc. It’s a two-way street. Women can do anything a man can do, including the heinous stuff. In an age where we celebrate the breadth of women’s capabilities, we should appreciate both ends of the spectrum, not just the good stuff. Many people brush over their own deficiencies while emphasizing the deficiencies of others. And most men will harshly judge women who frame a relationship exclusively in terms of his failures. Our gut tells us you’re being disingenuous and unfair. Why would we want to build a life with someone like that? We’ll still take that booty though :-).

What a mooch . . . smh (lol)
What a mooch . . . smh (lol)

2. A lot of girls aren’t worth their asking price
Have you ever listened to your girl friend list her qualifications for her ideal man? Does she fulfill any of those qualifications? If not, then she needs to revisit her list. Why would an impressive guy waste time with a girl who isn’t at his level? What does she bring to the table that he doesn’t already have? What’s enticing him to stay around? I’m not saying that you should be identical to your ideal man; just saying that you shouldn’t hate on guys who live with their mom if you live with your mom. You’re them to us. You may get some booty from an overqualified man temporarily, but you ain’t go’n get a relationship.

*Yawns and rolls eyes*
*Yawns and rolls eyes* "What about me?"

3. Girls have expectations that guys don’t care to live up to
Many women do the easy job of compiling a list of expectations and character traits for their ideal mate. A lot fewer do the hard job of crafting a personality that actually entices their target audience. Holding someone to a standard you set is easy. Motivating someone to live up to that standard, even when you’re not around, is more difficult. Most guys don’t want another mom to yell at them when they’re not meeting some arbitrary standard. We’re looking for someone who motivates us to be better people: a support structure, not a disciplinarian. I’ve seen a lot of guys bend over backwards trying to please their girls only to be discouraged simply because their execution wasn’t good enough. If you want to give a man an excuse to NOT give you the benefit of the doubt going forward, do that.

He needs a new girlfriend, clearly.
He needs a new girlfriend, clearly.

4. We know you won’t do anything
Few women approach guys, and most women expect to be approached by guys. We exploit this assumption because it cedes us more authority in dictating the course of a relationship: I can pick the girl, set the pace, and commit when I feel like it. She has to be chosen, adapt to my pace, and then wait for me to commit. Women often put themselves in a reactionary (instead of proactive) position with men, and some guys exploit it (sometimes unconsciously). The fact that many women are willing to cede that autonomy (and that many actively resist being the aggressor) is something a lot of guys have a hard time respecting, regardless of its origins and precedence.

A picture says 1,000 words (or 17: soo isn't a word :-p)
A picture says 1,000 words (or 17: soo isn't a word :-p)

Conclusion

Guys are at fault for many situationships that never turn in to relationships, but I think we get unfairly blamed for the majority of them. Guys have logical rationales for their actions, even if we aren’t always completely aware of them: it’s hard to get laid consistently; we’re usually given excessive power during courtship, and a lot of y’all ain’t shit insofar as you would reject yourself if you were a guy. I’m not saying guys are awesome. We’re meh; but we're equals, so you’re meh too :-)

Why He Won’t Commit to You, Part 3: You’re Meh
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