3 Reasons Why "Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater" Rings True

[Anonymous]

1. Old habits die hard

Long story short, if one is used to act in a certain way, and be able to get away with it, then why change? Having a variety of partners, and being deceitful is more a lifestyle than it is anything else.

2. It's fun, so why stop?

When people get a rise out of the fun nature of different sex with different partners, and perhaps even the possibility of getting caught by your S.O. Why stop?

3. Low empathy= I don't care attitude

When cheaters have low emotional sensitivity to the pain that they have caused their partner, they don't know nor care how it feels to have your heart broken. So not caring and being "them", is much easier than understanding.

[Brokenheartedx]

I think everyone has the ability to change, but with cheaters unfortunately it's either because they lose everything or it happens to them.. and it always does happen, what goes around comes back around. Some people don't believe it because they want instant results but this happens years down the line. A cheater will only realise everything he's lost, friends, the loss of a loving relationship and being known as untrustworthy when he or she is older.. through lies and deception and it takes a toll on their looks and mental health.

[bloodmountain1990]

I've had women cheat on their bf/husband with me but I didn't know till after we hooked up. They initiated it too. I ran the hell away for 2 reasons.

1. Don't want their SO coming after me when it's their fault.
2. If they cheated with them, they'll probably cheat on me.

[Anonymous]

I used to cheat all the time with my ex. Long story short is that I gave 110% of myself to her and she basically walked all over me and treated me terribly but I loved her so much I was blinded to it. And always trying to make things better. We would have sex once in 5 or 6 weeks and she made me feel like she was doing me a favour every time. I was so against cheating and I thought I never would but it happened. Itbwas a bad decision and I don't blame her because I should have just left her instead of cheating but it happened so gradually... a guilty kiss, then a less guilty one weeks later and on and on and once I was sleeping with 1 girl I got hooked and then it was 2 then 3 I got to a point that I pretty much had 3 full time girlfriends and I'd still sleep with a new girl weekly. And you're right... it does become a lifestyle. But where you're wrong is saying that we can't change. I one day decided to end that life and I did. I stopped cheating completely. I told my ex everything and she wanted to try to work things out because we brought all our problems to light. I left her 2 years later because things just weren't working and I'm now with a wonderful woman that I adore and she adores me and I never cheat on her. It's been 2 years I'm with her. So in all I haven't cheated in over 5 years and I know I never will again.

[Elarra]

I think cheaters can change but very rarely. Most people act out when they're unhappy in some way. It takes two to tango and the cheater was clearly wrong for cheating but I think some can change. That's like saying once an addict always an addict. If an addict can change and rehabilitate, so can a cheater if they want to.

[BubbleBoy69]

Would you date a former cheater?

[Elarra]

@BubbleBoy69 You mean one who cheated on me or just a cheater in general?

[BubbleBoy69]

Say you meet a guy and he tells u he cheated on his Ex-GF but has changed. Would you still consider dating him?

[Elarra]

@BubbleBoy69 Yes, I would. His past relationship had nothing to do with me.

[samhradh_leannan]

I think this is usually the case. However, I don't think it is ALWAYS the case 100% of the time. If someone is a serial cheater who has cheated multiple times, especially in multiple relationships, then sure, they probably won't reform. But if they cheated once, regretted it horribly, and never did it again, then I think it's very possible that they will be faithful in the future.

[PrincessofNohr]

I have to agree. It's not usually a mistake, but a conscious decision, and not one people tend to change. It may be something grown out of if someone is 18 or younger, but if someone is still cheating in their 20s, it's never gonna change.

[Library]

I agree with you. I can imagine a cheater being exactly like this. I don't think people change that much.

By the way, I like how you finally allow opinions. I can tell it's you who didn't allow opinions on your previous myTakes.

[Kapakani]

I wish this weren't true, because unfortunately I'm in love with a "cheater"! Serial cheater at that. And I kinda believe she enjoys it or is starting to, for those exact reasons you've listed.

[Anonymous]

Cheaters often cheat because they are unhappy in the relationship and just don't want to hurt their SO feeling by breaking up with them.

[Nikki161819]

I completely disagree with the third reason. Maybe having their heartbroken is why they break everyone else's hearts.

[Anonymous]

That also. means if a cheater has cheated and it didn't fulfill any of the 3 criteria, that there is a very low chance theyll do it again.

[Puppylove94]

uhh no lol all three of those have something to do with a cheater.

[Puppylove94]

every cheater i mean

[Opinion Owner]

no not all three are guaranteed...

have you ever. dome something you regretted? Do you believe you are doomed to do it over and over for the rest of your life?

[Puppylove94]

Why did you do it in the first place? Lack of empathy towards your partner. That's a physical trait. Not something that just changes

[Opinion Owner]

@Puppylove94 not obviously...

Say a girl drank for the first time, didn't know the effects or have proper self control, ended up with a guy... doesn't mean the next day she won't have regret.
lack of empathy goes contrary to the concept of regret, if you feel bad for having done something bad to someone... thats regret and empathy...

Also lack of empathy is more of a character trait...

[Puppylove94]

I was taken advantage of when I was drunk once. I take full responsibility for what happened that night- I knew better and shouldn't have drank that much. It was my first time drinking but I had heard stories

I meant character trait lol my bad

[Opinion Owner]

@Puppylove94 Im very sorry to hear that...
But from your experience, you can't see how "once an irresponsible drinker, always an irresponsible drinker" completely lacks nuance
Yes you did make a mistake, and by taking responsibility were able to learn from it...
If a cheater, murderer, thief, bad/drunk driver actually takes responsibility for their actions and does something about it, the once an X always an X doesn't apply...

But like muderers I would see why youd rather just lump everybody in a "I dont mess with these people category", because it can simply be too time consuming and risky to tell the ones who have changed or learned something positive from those who haven't...

That said, its still not a universal truth. Best to judge peoples character by their character and behaviour, past and present, than by broad sweeping generalisations, if you want to interact with them or not be prejudiced etc... of course.

[Puppylove94]

Oh im still friends with them of course.. but as you said I'd just rather not get involved with one

[Opinion Owner]

@Puppylove94 yeah that makes total sense, can't blame anyone for keeping their distance of course...

[John_Doesnt]

Aww, did the little baby cry when their boyfriend cheated? Aww, I'm so sad.

[BigJake]

Plus, if you're a guy who gets tons of female attention, it's hard to say no forever.

[samhradh_leannan]

Unless you're a decent guy who respects your commitments.

[Anonymous]

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2149519-need-help-on-this-what-would-you-do

[Saoirse_Nua]

Lots of truth in that take

[Adigelunar]

good

[SugaryLips]

very true