Cheaters never change?

Cheaters never change?

At the expense of getting a lot of hate, I'm ending this myth now.

I have a boyfriend who I would have been with 10 years now if I hadn't cheated on him. Twice.

Yes, you read that correctly. Twice.

We started dating at 14, and I first cheated on him in college. We were long distance and our differences really began to show. A pre-law girl with a party-frat boy. It wasn't working. Our priorities changed. His parties became more important than facetime calls with me. My study sessions became more important than facetime calls with him. His sorority friends bashed me for being ugly. My friends bashed him for acting like a child and not getting his priorities straight. We stopped calling. We stopped caring. We took each other for granted and assumed our relationship would be okay because it had survived the superficiality of high school.

I met someone new, another pre-law student and we ended up seeing each other secretly for 6 months in a sort of quasi on-off relationship that was extremely toxic to all 3 of us.

My boyfriend and I broke up after I told him about it, yet we remained friends...that was in 2015.

Fast forward to 1 year later - we got back together.

Fast forward again to law school across the country...2017.

I began to secretly see someone again. The stress kicked in and spending winter in a place with actual snow was hard. I needed a physical support and I found one. This one was purely sexual, unlike the first where there were actually true feelings.

We broke up again and this time decided it would be final...but that we'd stay friends because all that time would be a waste and we enjoyed each other's company.

All this being said, I've got no excuses for my actions. It was wrong, no matter what the reason or circumstance was.

Fast forward to Summer of 2018. We had a lot of hookups while I was at home. It felt like the final goodbye, some sort of transient summer romance. It felt right, but at the same time it didn't. We decided not to get back together.

I decided not to say I love you before I left. I felt I didn't have a right to say it. I felt he should find someone else, more deserving and more fitting for him. At this point I just wanted him to be happy.

Fast forward to Christmas of 2018.

I got off a plane, drove to house to say hi and drop off some gifts to his family.

A quick hug turned into a kiss on the cheek, which turned into well...you know.

I assumed this was some sort of Winter romance (wow how toxic we were), but in the moment I was so happy I didn't care if it was fake or not.

At the end of break I decided I didn't want my words to go left unsaid.

"I love you, still."

"I love you too, but I'm afraid of you."

I told him that he didn't have to love me, he didn't have to have pity for me. But if what he was saying was true, I was willing to show him that I could make that change for him. That I wanted nobody else, for the rest of my life...and that I'd continue to show that to him as long as he loved me. (Note: I had not seen anyone since our last breakup - sexual or serious. Nobody).

Fast forward to now: we're planning our first out of the country trip together to visit his great-grandmother in the Philippines. He wants her to meet the love of his life while she can, and it is my absolute honor to be that girl...to be his fiance.

I know you're all thinking that I can cheat again at any time.

Yeah you're right I can...and maybe deep down he probably is scared that I will.

But whatever the world or anyone else thinks...I am changed.

I am his and I will never let myself wander away again...notice that I didn't say "I won't let anyone take me away again".

Cheating was my choice.

Being loyal to him, our families and future children, and myself is my choice now.

I'm not saying you should trust everyone and allow yourself to be fooled, but that you look at others for more than their mistakes. I was cheated on in the past...and I still don't know how I managed to cheat on my love twice in my life.

I often wonder who the bigger fool is: him for coming back to me, or me for ever hurting him in the first place.

But I know I'd be a bigger fool if I threw this love away because of some saying that people toss around. The saying "cheaters never change" made me feel like such crap -- that I never deserved to forgive myself, that I never deserved to love anyone, that I could never be a good person to anyone ever again.

That's bullshit.

I changed. People can change -- even a blind man can see that with time.

Cheaters never change?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Dongtai

    Are you trying to convince us or yourself? From what I read your love/loyalty is extremely conditional. As long as things are going good in your eyes you stick around. When they don’t, you buckle. It’s a pattern you’ve shown to have over the span of three years. I personally don’t think people change that fast and I wouldn’t trust someone who cheated twice for the same reason on the same person in such a short amount of time.

    It’s a noble Mytake but it feels like you wrote this to prove something. You don’t need to. If you truly want to change, accept that there will be times I’m a relationship that it seems imperfect. You will see guys who “seem” more interested in things that matter when your boyfriend is dealing with things in his life. There will be times where it seems like he’s not the way he was when you fell for him, then out of nowhere will be a guy who has the qualities you’re missing.

    That’s when your love is tested. Are you the type of person who goes for better when it presents itself or do you love without condition? Better or for worst. Love isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice. You choose a person during their best and worst.

    Also. Communication. That’s the biggest thing. It’s always possible to sit down with your partner and just be open about how you’re feeling. Tell him you want him to take you out for your birthday. Tell him you love it when he ask about your project or how work went. But don’t convince yourself the love isn’t there when things aren’t going perfect. Love isn’t perfection.

    Everyone deserves love. But not everyone knows how to truly love. Don’t feel like crap. Ignore people who shame you. It’s your life. But if you want to change you can change.

    Also. When I say for worst I do not mean abusive people. Never put up with verbal or emotional abuse. That isn’t love.

    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      This is the best opinion I've ever read.
      Not gonna lie, so many people who have told me I don't deserve him have almost pushed me to leave.
      It's taken a lot to see that what's important is what he wants for us, how he feels about us, and what he sees for us.
      It's hard to love when so many people are against your love because you start to wonder if that other person should have better.
      But you're right. It's about us, and our happiness depends on the choices WE make from this point on.

    • Dongtai

      I was worried I might have came off a bit harsh. But you’re absolutely right. It doesn’t matter what anyone says. You can shape your own destiny the way you want. If you want to change you can, it doesn’t matter what happened yesterday. I believe in you. Good luck with your journey

    • Anonymous

      Don't worry, I have been through much much worse and heard so much more shit from people, even being hurt physically and ridiculed by some.
      I guess I deserved all that.
      I appreciate you being firm, but gentle somehow.
      I appreciate you too for not belittling my entire person.
      Thank you for giving me more hope and strength in some small way, to continue improving for myself and him.

    • Show All
  • Gary888818

    Come back here once things start getting to be too stressful or you aren't feeling the relationship is going well and then tell us you've changed. You're not seeing the pattern here. When things get tough, you ditch. Until you've dealt with that, you haven't changed a bit. And it's not just one time, its constant. Ups and downs. You will have to stop yourself every time. You've already proven how difficult that is for you. Not once, but twice. Good luck with that.

    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      I wouldn't necessarily call a relationship between a professional student and a full time worker, 3 time zones apart "not stressful"... but I see what you mean.
      I'm no saint. I'm no psychic.
      Can it happen? Yup.
      Will it happen? No. I'm in control of that.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Anonymous

    I thought I would never, ever cheat. But then I got an emotionally abusive boyfriend. I wanted to break up, but due to circumstances, I had to wait a few weeks. In that time, I fell in love with someone else.
    I got drunk and slept with the new person. I don't think that it was right, but I don't think it will happen ever again either.

    In my head, I wasn't committed anymore. That allowed me to catch new feelings in the first place.
    My ex had treated me terribly, which caused me yo care less about his feelings.
    I was certain the relationship would end. So there wasn't anything to ruin besides my principles.

    I wouldn't do this again. Next time, I'd break up immediately regardless of the circumstances. But I would never be able to cheat on a relationship that still has any good in it.

    Was it wrong? Yes. Does it heighten my chances of cheating again? I think not.

    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      Agreed, I don' think I was in love with him ENOUGH in those moments I wavered.
      Don't get depressed and harm yourself over a mistake like I did, anonymous.
      You've got a chance to learn, a chance to be happy again, and to make someone happy.
      I hope you find someone in the future who can give you the happiness and love you deserve, and that you can do the same.

    • Anonymous

      Oh don't worry, for me it wasn't a momentary thing. The love was gone completely and for good. If there was the slightest chance that I would ever love that boy again, this would never have happened.

      I regret what I did, but I feel confident that I learned from my mistake. Oh and I consider myself rather happy, luckily!

    • Anonymous

      I'm really happy for you then.
      We can regret our mistakes, but letting them dominate and define us is when things get tricky.
      Once I cheated, all I was was a cheater.
      It's like I forgot I was a person with dreams, friends, etc. I convinced myself I only deserved hurt and that's why I began to hurt myself.

      Again, I'm happy for you :)

    • Show All
  • water1411

    once a cheater always a cheater is just a saying people say because once you’ve cheated you’ve realised how easy it can be so you keep doing it as a choice but when the person cheating finds someone they truly love and want to be with and don’t want to take any chance on losing them then yes, they will change and make the choice to not cheat. often people cheat due to not being fully attracted to their partner, or they don’t see the relationship going anywhere or something along the lines like that and clearly it just took you awhile to figure out what you wanted.

    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      I regret that it took so long and that I had to hurt so many people along the way to figure it out.
      But now that I'm here, I'm not going to waste the chance to make sure he gets the love he's always deserved and that our futures are as happy as they can be.

What Girls & Guys Said

825
  • SteveSmith1985

    If I were your boyfriend... There is no way in hell I would believe you could change. But then again I wouldn't have stayed friends with you after finding out you cheated on me the first time. You have an extraordinarily forgiving boyfriend. I hope you realize how lucky you are. Of the two of you, the bigger fool is him. FOR SURE, it's him. I think he's absolutely NUTS. He's either got the highest self-esteem I've ever seen: or he's got the lowest self-esteem I've ever seen. 99% of guys would never take you back after all that. But that's beside the point.

    I hope you DO end up changing. But like you said yourself... It's WAY too early for you to say you've changed. Your mindset may have changed. But it means nothing until you get some actual time (several years) under your belt. Until then, it's just words... And your past record makes those words difficult to believe on face-value. You need to see if you ACTUALLY hold up when things go wrong in your life, or in your relationship, or whatever else. I'm just saying... Don't count your chickens before they hatch, so to speak. Your statement about cheaters changing, was made prematurely. Very prematurely.

    • Anonymous

      Just 2 fools in love I guess.
      He's had so many opportunities to go to "hotter" "better" girls while we were apart (and even together) but never did. I've asked him why and he just doesn't "see anything in them that he sees in me".
      What does he see in me? I don't even know.

      I'm rambling though.
      I know that I'm lucky, and though talk is cheap there is no way I will mess up a third time.
      Marriage is a different ball park for me, a completely different one.

    • Well... I hope you do change. Anyone deserves better than to be treated the way you've treated this guy so far. Good luck.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks.
      I know I have treated him worse than anyone ever could.
      The pain he's gone through, no one ever should.
      It's my goal now to show him the love he's always deserved.

    • Show All
  • MrLogical

    Yeah... He deserves better lmao. Take pity on the poor dude and just leave. Don't torture him with marriage with you. He doesn't deserve that and you don't deserve him.

    You know that marrying him is bad and you are doing it... You are so horrible.

    Hope the dude wises up and leaves before then.

    • Anonymous

      I've told him the same thing. I told him he was a fool.
      He made his choice and told me to stop being selfish--to think of what he wants.
      For some reason that's me--and I won't question why.
      I don't think you can say our relationship is torture since you're not him, with all due respect.
      One man's trash is another man's treasure.
      One man's pain is another one's pleasure.
      It just depends on how you see things and how you feel.

    • MrLogical

      Nah I can objectively say you are a piece of shit. He IS an idiot, but he doesn't deserve it. And you are worse for not taking pity on him and leaving him. If you cared for him at all you would, but you don't. And you prove it by marrying him.

    • Anonymous

      Sure, you can say that. I'm not disagreeing.
      What's selfish to you means the world to him, that's just a matter of perception/how you feel.
      I can't change how he feels and I would never hurt him again by now rescinding from a vow.
      My commitment now is to his happiness and our future.
      I think he'd be better off with someone else (notice the word "I"). That's not what he wants, and he's emphasized that again and again.
      If I am part of his happiness, then so be it. I will do my part to ensure his happiness.

    • Show All
  • MrOracle

    People can change, it's just that they rarely do. Just as important, on those rare occasions when they do change, it is always because they themselves wanted to - never because someone else wanted them to.

    • Anonymous

      I agree completely.
      Change should definitely come from that person -- whatever reason they have for it -- as long as they themselves want to change.

    • Boy that's a cynical way of looking at people if you don't mind me saying! Change, the very nature of it, is imbedded in life itself! Babies change into toddlers. Toddlers change into children, so on and so forth! A woman is pregnant in 2000 and nine months later, she has a baby! That thing changes her... The mind ALSO changes and matures as one grows older because of the many experiences people get exposed to! :-)

  • jmorris86

    I was married for a long time and when things were good she was faithful, when things were bad or I was working too much she cheated. It's easy for someone to say they've changed in the moment but when times get rocky or they feel vulnerable and alone that's when it will happen again and again.

    • Anonymous

      That is true, but it isn't as if things are perfect now.
      We're time zones apart and his job with my school doesn't allow for the best contact.
      Yet here we are.
      I'm not justifying anything your partner did, or anything that I did. I'm not trying to say that things won't get rocky and that cheating opportunities won't arise.
      But your partner, myself, and anyone else who may have cheated in the past... we're all different people with different stories and different reactions.
      Hopefully you find someone who reacts better next time.

    • jmorris86

      Thank you and I appreciate that. I'm not saying that you personally will do it again mainly that my faith in someone being able to change is shaken

    • Anonymous

      Of course, and that's totally understandable. No worries.
      Hoping for the best for you, that you find someone who doesn't give you a reason to have fear :)

  • TalloranShade

    Yeah, I've cheated before. I was never really invested in any of my past relationships, I think the last relationship I had, I cheated with 5 other girls? Just for the sex, I realised that I wasn't satisfied with the girl I was dating, she was fun for one night but her personality bored me and the sex wasn't great, it was good just not great. I tried to help her get better but it was kinda hopeless. So I found myself calling up these other girls, going to their places, having an amazing night then going home. I probably cheated a total of, 13 times with 5 girls. Eventually I broke it off with the girl I was dating, she asked why and I said "It's not fair for me to make you think we have any sort of future, I'm just not satisfied, mentally or physically and I've cheated on you a lot to try and fill that void, it's not your fault that I cheated, it's my fault for dating you, I hope you find a guy that lives you someday" Then she tried to convince me not to leave, she said she'd try and be better for me and I told her that's not fair, She shouldn't have to do that for a guy like me 😂 so I left and never looked back. I'm currently in a relationship and I've turned down multiple offers from very attractive girls, I don't want them, I only want my girl. She's perfect to me, it scares me that I love her so much and how quickly I fell for her but I'm committed.

    Cheaters do Change.
    People don't.

    • Anonymous

      I am really glad you found someone who truly makes you happy and it seems that you did care for that first girl a lot, it just wasn’t love. Otherwise you would’ve stayed when she asked. Kudos to you.

    • No, I didn't really care for her much, but it wasn't fair to stay with her if I knew it wouldn't work, especially after cheating 🤷

    • Anonymous

      In a way that is caring... you let her off the hook

    • Show All
  • Ally247

    I mean, congratulations and I hope it all works out for you. But my belief remains once a cheater, always a cheater. I hope what you're saying is true though, and you don't cheat again.

    • Anonymous

      Nobody's asking you to change your view.
      I've been cheated on before too and I knew the guy was capable of change.
      He went into depression and engaged in self harm, but now he's got a happy family of 4 with a beautiful wife.
      Everyone can change.
      Once you cheat all you can say for sure is that "you've cheated", but that doesn't necessarily mean you'll cheat again.

  • Galaz

    Eh i get ur thinking u have changed but untill u get the crave for someone else and u shed that notion away and go to ur dude i will hold back the congratulations. yes people can change u being afraid of fucking it all up again tells me ur not 100% i hope u the best if u do break his heart again dont keep fooling urselves get help talk together communicate u got this i hope for the best i prepare for the worst always. Good luck stay strong

  • Shamalien

    People can change

    But if a girl cheated on me twice I’d never trust her again and I’d be right in doing so. The fact that you dont know why you cheated says a lot as well

    • Anonymous

      It's hard to put into words, but I do know why.
      Because I got weak. Because I got insecure about the fact his friends said others were better. Because I felt ignored by him and felt I should act before he did.
      I was cheated on by a man before and chose that this time I wouldn't be on the receiving end.
      Very wrong choice on my end to assume these 2 guys were the same... they are not.
      Are any of these excuses? No.
      Should he trust me? Probably not.
      Am I going to waste time and worsen our relationship by wondering why and doubting his feelings? Absolutely not.

    • Shamalien

      That person that cheated, it must be so that you killed her, sacrificed that ego on the alter of truth and fairness, that person who did that thing cannot be you anymore. Its good that you admit it was because you were weak and you gave into fear. You have to have the mindset that you would rather die than do that again

    • Anonymous

      I want to be able to look into the mirror and not hate myself, and so I remember that person, but refuse to be her again.

    • Show All
  • OddBeMe

    Unfortunately it’s highly unlikely cheaters would not do it again. Like reoffenders.

    • Anonymous

      Nothings ever certain. :)

  • Sabretooth

    sure-but only a delusional fool would stick around hoping... as you've just proven.

    • Anonymous

      I guess you could say that. But what is a delusion and trick to one person is very much real to another.
      We’re all entitled to be as foolish or wise as we’d like, as long as we’re happy and healthy.

    • Sabretooth

      you've cheated twice-that says a lot more than your words can. you pretty much thew everything away-twice. i would not consider this healthy

    • Anonymous

      It wasn’t.
      But that was 2 years ago and those circumstances don’t apply now.
      We’re different people, still growing but definitely different.
      To an objective eye it isn’t healthy, but to those that know us, they see us as happier than ever because we’ve decided to dump that baggage.
      It’s okay for you to feel the way you do though, and it’s understandable.

    • Show All
  • Exactly. Time is always a good teacher they say and I agree with that! Your ex (now fiance) is quite the forgiving person!

  • saravrodriguez

    Wow. I appreciate this post so much. It still gives me hope about my situation. I have never cheated on my ex, but I did take him for granted. Did your now fiance ever show resentment about it while you two were broken up for that year? How did you guys start talking again?

  • Nobody_95

    Things happen, they may not always be right. In this case, you were in the wrong... Twice. To him, I would say, forgive but never forget. Love her her or leave her. It'll take time to regain trust, but if you really love each other, you can work through it.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks for being so kind about it.
      I endured years of name calling and people ousting me, which I know is nothing compared to the pain I gave him. I'm not the victim here, but I did get hurt in some ways too.
      I don't want him to forget at all, as long as he isn't always using it against me (which he never does- I guess that's part of forgiveness though).
      So many people tell me I don't love him otherwise I wouldn't do it... sure, at the time I probably didn't love him enough.
      But now I do and the chance he's given me, I won't waste.

    • Nobody_95

      Just put you whole heart and soul into this relationship, things will work out.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks again for being so kind about it.
      He and I aren't engaged per se, but we have promise rings meaning that we're going to continue growing and improving until we're really ready.
      I'm prepared to give my all.
      Have a good night!

  • SomeGuyCalledTom

    Fair enough. But it's also fair that if you do cheat on him again, that you update this thread accordingly. Would you agree?

    • Anonymous

      Sure. I'll keep y'all updated.

    • Whate will stop you from cheating on him the next time? I really do hope you have learned to be loyal to him now. It will benefit you guys in the long run! Good luck to you and your relationship!

    • Twalli

      @SueAnon84 my guess is that she won't be apart from him for too long again. I think that's a factor in her cheating. Not excusing it, but a change that may prevent her from cheating again

  • Cheated on him TWICE?

    Yeah that's why you don't give cheaters second chances. I recently dumped my ex after finding out that he was cheating and no matter how much heartbroken I feel I am NOT going back to him. Not as long as I still respect myself as a human being who does NOT deserve to be cheated on. Who does NOT deserve living with someone and being in constant fear of being cheated on again.

    That guy gave you a third chance, wow. I hope you remember that for the rest of your life and start acting accordingly, and don't cheat ever again. Live by your words instead of this just being another cheater making fake promises.

  • Thomas_Shelby

    Cheaters only cheat on those who aren’t worth their love

  • Harmseygrace

    It depends on the cheater. You've just got to look at it without all the love.

  • AD240pCharlie

    Good for you.
    I personally wouldn't take back a partner who cheated on me, which is why I don't have any contact with my ex anymore. It's very possible that she has changed, but it doesn't matter. I'm not taking that risk.
    I think your case is very rare. Most times, even when the cheater in question actually HAS changed for the better, it's still not going to work out. The other person is going to (understandably) be extremely worried and constantly stay very possessive to make sure that it doesn't happen again.

  • ... says a cheater. LOL!

    • Anonymous

      Touche.
      The man who cheated on me broke up with me in a non-direct way.
      He cheated on the girl he got with after me.
      Now he's got a family of 4 with a beautiful wife and they have a happy healthy relationship.
      He and I are still friends. We are 29 now and have been friends since we were 4.
      In case you wanted an experience that wasn't my own.

  • Browneye57

    A little long, but I think I get the gist of it...
    I cheated the shit out of my first wife - she was a cunt. Second wife of nearly 30 years completely true and loyal. That's why I say 'it depends', and NOT adult underwear. ;)
    Just because someone cheated does not mean they'll always be a cheater. There's always a reason, something they're not getting from their primary relationship. And while you can't blame the victim of cheating, there is ALWAYS culpability for the failure in the relationship.
    Happy couples in love don't cheat. Period.

  • Gedaria

    It's possible as they get older. And realise how much damage they do...

  • GhettoGirl

    I'll wait for the movie to come out..

    • Anonymous

      LOL is straight-to-DVD a thing? Or was that just for VHS?

  • Denniszen

    I dont need to read your blah blah blah... your deeds speak for themselves.

  • AshleyMadison00

    They change for who they want and love

    • Anonymous

      Everyone is capable of change in the right circumstances, given the right time and love.
      I agree completely girl.

  • Syrian_survivor

    And you never told him about any of it?

    • Anonymous

      I told him both times and ended the relationship myself both times.
      As for the getting back together, those were him... I always urged him to find someone better, but he said I had been selfish enough and needed to think of what he wanted.
      What he wanted, for some crazy reason, was me... and it just happened to be mutual.
      Now here we are.

    • I don't know if that's a good thing tbh, it might seem lovely and that he really loves you but everything has a limit, some would break that limit by forgiving their partner for cheating once, but twice? I don't know about that, it sounds to me like he has no character at all, has no self-worth and is too lazy to find anyone better, it doesn't make any sense for it to be good, it's bad in all ways in my opinion :/

      You can never imagine how much I love and adore my girl, the things I do for her, how far I go for her, and how much we've been through together is insane, but I still hold self-worth because my well-being might not come first (as hers always does), but it still matters and I still gotta take care of myself so I don't completely fall apart and would need to beg someone for help so they can pick me back up, which is why I would NOT be able to forgive her if she did such a thing, I'd already set a time bomb for the relationship if she cheated the first time anyway, so that decision is radical and unhealthy for both of you.

      I'm not bashing on you for cheating because you regret it and it's none of my business, and I'm not entirely insulting your boyfriend and calling him a weak boy who lacks values and self-worth, I'm just assessing the situation, and honestly I think you should rethink bigger projects between you two like engagement and marriage, you don't wanna build something so precious when its foundation is so weak, infrequent, and full of rubble :/

    • Anonymous

      That's totally understandable.
      To be 100% it isn't really a full engagement, it's a promise ring but I didn't want to go through the trouble of explaining that.
      We are totally happy right now but we both know that there's rebuilding to be done for both of us and things we didn't handle the best when we were together initially.
      But we've decided that that love is strong enough that we want to build a future together, it's just not right now.

    • Show All
  • bimmy5000

    Congrats... you are an exception to the rule.

  • Clinton321

    Hmm.. Good for you

  • PrinceOfAljazeera

    Nothing wrong with cheating.

  • Waterwhistler

    Yes never, so find new.

    • Anonymous

      It’s all a gamble new or old

    • Fuck it.

  • raghav_13

    Changed behaviour is the best result

  • Anonymous

    I hate the one percent trying to defend the 99% of cheaters we’re actually talking about... so u did “change” so fucking what, the statement still rings true

    • Anonymous

      I’m sorry you feel so strongly about this.
      I’ve been on both sides so I guess I’ve developed a different mindset and see people can change. For me the “cheaters never change” aspect is just narrow minded and really detrimental to those who regret their actions because they become enveloped by that decision... and nobody in life makes perfect decisions.
      But to each their own.

    • Anonymous

      It’s not “ narrow minded” when it’s true 90% of the time 🙄 no one actually gives a fuck if being a reasonable person is detrimental to your kind, we not worrying about cheating ass hoes and their feelings

    • Anonymous

      Anyways, have You ever thought he didn’t care that you cheated on him because he was having his fun on the side as well? Serious question

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  • Anonymous

    Only if you want girl I was messing with tried but “she couldn’t stop”. She didn’t wanna stop or like thrill she had her boyfriend was their for the money.

    • Anonymous

      Ouch, I apologize for that.
      Of any excuse to give, that is the worst you can give.
      You're always in control to some extent. I chose to cheat and acknowledge that.
      I'm choosing to begin a change now.
      I hope you find better in the future.

  • Anonymous

    Sorry, but a woman who cheated on the same man twice who then says she has changed... I don't trust her for a second. Cheaters have a character flaw, and character flaws do not just disappear like that. If you were able to justify cheating in your mind under different circumstances than your current situation, other circumstances you don't foresee now will arise and you'll be able to justify cheating again. That's just what cheaters do.

    • Anonymous

      Cheating is never justified, I never said that.
      But like people with psychiatric disorders and various delusions, change is always possible. I used to be a med student before I realized it wasn't for me.
      The flaws people have can always be improved and worked on, but it comes with time and belief in themselves/from others.

    • Anonymous

      I hope you're right. Good luck.

    • Anonymous

      All we can do is hope right?
      Thanks.

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