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Why People Cheat?

Why People Cheat?

This is myTake on my personal views. Mild trigger alert.

You can avoid little things for the maintenance and betterment of your relationship.

(1) People stop wooing once they settle

Once the honeymoon phase is over, we kind of relax. Take a backseat. Just chill. Yeah, yeah, I hear ya - but "being on toes isn't all a relationship is about". Indeed you're right. Being comfortable in being weird around your partner is perhaps the highest form of intimacy...

The problem is ... Reality starts to creep in, slowly. Gross details are spilled. Suddenly you're no longer complaining about your lover's foot fetish but his he leaves the toilet seat up. Feels like family. The deal is : we love our fam, we just don't like to have their company. Because they're available all the darn time !

(2) You're too busy

I advice singles to find partners starching similar to themselves. Why? Because its easier that way. Social psychology and I agree on this one point : opposites attract doesn't always produce something meaningful.

Anyway, we're sorta straying away from the central issue in here.

Being busy can raise your value. Up to some extent, heart DOES grow fonder in absence. Still, when overdone this can work against you.

Your partner is desperately trying to steal you away from work. And you're pushing them away. That's when somebody fine comes along :

" why is your husband such an asshole? doesn't he see the efforts you put into everything (...) if I'd someone like you, I'd treasure her forever..."

I know because I tell that to every girl crying after break up. It's a cliche line and my intention isn't taking advantage of them. I'm just saying.

Even if you're working your ass off to make their dream come true, your actions might be misinterpreted. Perhaps you've someone else? Gasp.

(3) You aren't their friend or you are their friend

Either way, you're doomed. Being their lover must always be your main role in their life. Managing the side role of a friend can be tricky as fuck.

Let's admit we all sometimes deserve a pal. Seldom even more than a lover. But as soon as crises end, we'd like them to switch back to peach sunsets and neck kisses... Right?

Lmk your thoughts!

Why People Cheat?
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Anonymous
    The idea that men cheat for sexual reasons and women cheat for emotional reasons is bullshit. Women cheat for sexual reasons too.

    I've been cheated on before. For a while I didn't trust women at all, and during that time I decided to stay single and only have hook-ups.

    I ended up finding a lot of women with boyfriends/husbands. I never met or had sex with them because I think it's fucked up, but I took the opportunity to find out what motivated them because I wanted to know how to avoid being cheated on in the future.

    I wanted to know about the dark side of female behaviour because when women talk about this they put it in kind of a nice way. Always framed as the man not doing enough for them, being lazy, inconsiderate etc. Like they always do it because of their emotions, as if it's always a "mistake", not speaking about the ways in which women can be just as sneaky, calculating and fucked up as the men who cheat.

    Their reason were mostly about sexual frustration. Very often the man wasn't making any of the mistakes you mentioned here, he just wasn't doing it for them in the bedroom. He was either boring/bad at sex (lights out, little foreplay, missionary position), or he wasn't dominant enough, too soft and too passive.

    These guys would usually be quite soft in general, physically and mentally. That's not what's sexy to most women.

    Women don't cheat with men who are softer than their boyfriends/husbands, and they don't do it because they're looking for love. They cheat with men they perceive as being more masculine, because they want "to get fucked properly" as one of these women put it to me.

    The best way not to get cheated on for a man or woman is firstly obviously to find someone who isn't a fuck up, but also to not be boring in the bedroom. To stay "sexy" to your other half.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Sonorous
    Well, it can be observed that our ancestors weren't monogamous and that we aren't monogamous creatures by nature. It was created by us out of necessity. So, that makes it even more difficult for people to stick with the expectations we've thrust upon ourselves.

    Based on my life observations, guys often cheat for different reasons than if a woman were to cheat. Usually, with a guy, it's mainly lust. Other negative factors could help manifest that lust. And he wouldn't likely leave his current girlfriend for his side piece.

    But with women, it's often more than just lust. Of course, lust is commonly involved, but there's usually also the deep emotional connection they get from the other person. So they would be more likely to leave their current partner for their side piece.

    So, to sum it up. If a man is getting bored in bed, he may cheat. If a woman is getting bored in the relationship (which usually carries over to how she feels in bed), then she may cheat.

    There are exceptions, but I'm not talking about the minority. I'm talking about the majority/average.
    • Sonorous

      Oh, and I agree that your reasons could be possible motivating factors for the cheating. 👌

  • OlderAndWiser
    Where is the explanation about how people cheat because they have a character defect and they do not value keeping the sacred promise that they made? It sounds like you are providing excuses for cheaters.
  • JackSmy
    I can't remember who said it, but someone said, "Women cheat, when they don't feel loved; men cheat, when they don't feel needed"
  • I_am_a_so_called
    a small action by one of the 2 individuals in a relationship

    that makes the other one feel a little bit less loved and the following reactions, re-reactions and misinterpretations wich destroy the basis of this relationship.
  • Ivory_Princess
    Its in their nature. What i notice about cheaters is they have a history of cheating. Its just who and what they are do avoid dating them.
  • canadiancoloursky
    Boredom, previous expectations not being met in the relationship, also the deep rooted fear of unexpected intimacy that has cropped up. Cheating is a way of getting out of a relationship too
  • eminde
    From what I’ve heard so far the major reasons are:-
    Lack of Excitement
    being dishonest
    I don’t encourage cheating by no means it’s just baseless argument
  • KrakenAttackin
    Women change once married, or rather they stop acting. All of a sudden the man doesn't know who married and the manipulation begins.

    I tell young men who are contemplating marriage:. 1. Don't do it. 2. If you are hell bent than take what you like about her and cut it in half. Take what you hate about her and double it. If you still live her only than consider marriage.
  • is usually boredom. specially when the cheater is so board till the point he/she craves some sort of ego boost and validation
  • Gwenhwyfar
    You’re not wrong

    And yeah, peach sunsets and neck kisses are very erotic
  • Kayla45
    Some people see others as sex objects and nothing more, a pitiful existence for sure.
  • mrArcher
    1. The thrill
    2. A sense of entitlement
    3. Insecurity
    Generally one of these 3.
  • the_bruh
    Expectations make people cheat.
    • anon1903

      This is just part 1 but point taken

    • the_bruh

      Yeah, it's one word for all your points.

  • Tstrbrainer
    I don't think I believe that I'll commit to one person 😝
  • JPrez
    Very good take. Sums it up nicely.
  • nawtee_me
    A wonderful take on the subject. Thanks...
  • msc545
    Boredom, anger, temptation.
  • Anonymous
    they find someone they like more or they are just bored with their spouse