This is myTake on my personal views. Mild trigger alert.
You can avoid little things for the maintenance and betterment of your relationship.
(1) People stop wooing once they settle
Once the honeymoon phase is over, we kind of relax. Take a backseat. Just chill. Yeah, yeah, I hear ya - but "being on toes isn't all a relationship is about". Indeed you're right. Being comfortable in being weird around your partner is perhaps the highest form of intimacy...
The problem is ... Reality starts to creep in, slowly. Gross details are spilled. Suddenly you're no longer complaining about your lover's foot fetish but his he leaves the toilet seat up. Feels like family. The deal is : we love our fam, we just don't like to have their company. Because they're available all the darn time !
(2) You're too busy
I advice singles to find partners starching similar to themselves. Why? Because its easier that way. Social psychology and I agree on this one point : opposites attract doesn't always produce something meaningful.
Anyway, we're sorta straying away from the central issue in here.
Being busy can raise your value. Up to some extent, heart DOES grow fonder in absence. Still, when overdone this can work against you.
Your partner is desperately trying to steal you away from work. And you're pushing them away. That's when somebody fine comes along :
" why is your husband such an asshole? doesn't he see the efforts you put into everything (...) if I'd someone like you, I'd treasure her forever..."
I know because I tell that to every girl crying after break up. It's a cliche line and my intention isn't taking advantage of them. I'm just saying.
Even if you're working your ass off to make their dream come true, your actions might be misinterpreted. Perhaps you've someone else? Gasp.
(3) You aren't their friend or you are their friend
Either way, you're doomed. Being their lover must always be your main role in their life. Managing the side role of a friend can be tricky as fuck.
Let's admit we all sometimes deserve a pal. Seldom even more than a lover. But as soon as crises end, we'd like them to switch back to peach sunsets and neck kisses... Right?
Lmk your thoughts!