Cheaters never change? (Page 2)

[Anonymous]

I hate the one percent trying to defend the 99% of cheaters we’re actually talking about... so u did “change” so fucking what, the statement still rings true

[myTake Owner]

I’m sorry you feel so strongly about this.
I’ve been on both sides so I guess I’ve developed a different mindset and see people can change. For me the “cheaters never change” aspect is just narrow minded and really detrimental to those who regret their actions because they become enveloped by that decision... and nobody in life makes perfect decisions.
But to each their own.

[Opinion Owner]

It’s not “ narrow minded” when it’s true 90% of the time 🙄 no one actually gives a fuck if being a reasonable person is detrimental to your kind, we not worrying about cheating ass hoes and their feelings

[Opinion Owner]

Anyways, have You ever thought he didn’t care that you cheated on him because he was having his fun on the side as well? Serious question

[myTake Owner]

Eek, lol. There’s a lot of anger here and again I’m sorry you’re so upset.
And nope I didn’t think about that because he was visibly upset and cared. I knew what had happened hurt him so it never crossed my mind he didn’t care. He’s not that kind of person

[myTake Owner]

Also people are people regardless of the bad choices they’ve made and I learned that from being on the other side, having friends that divorced because of marital affairs, and my current situation. These people are not just cheaters, they’re people. But that’s just me.
I said the exact same stuff as you when I was a teenager lol.

[Opinion Owner]

Not literally not caring, but you cheated on him twice and he still took you back so that makes you wonder, maybe he was doing the same thing.

Here we go with the people are people, human makes mistakes the same old dribble you hoes say dare anyone hold you accountable for your actions. it doesn’t really matter because I never denied any of that. And what I said still applies. I know people who have had affairs (my father being one of them), so don’t try and use my age to devalue my opinion , we are two different people. I’m not going to grow up and start being a hoe like you did.

[Opinion Owner]

Why do you think having emotions towards a terrible thing is pitiful? .. huh...

[myTake Owner]

Nope, I really never thought he was. But even if he did, I really wouldn't hold that against him now that we've decided to move forward because that would be unhealthy. It really isn't going to help us bringing up what we've moved away from.

I'm not saying you don't know anything as a teenager, I just said I used to say the same things and I learned something different. You can have knowledge just as anyone else can, that doesn't know an age.
I'm not trying to justify any of my actions or anyone else who's cheated or done any sort of wrong, but you still should try to understand that people are more than a bad decision. I've known some amazing kind doctors, nurses, and teachers who have made bad mistakes -- do I assume they're bad people because of that? Nope.
They're people who made a bad choice, that's it.
But again that's just me, and I'm not here to start an argument. Again, I'm sorry to have elicited such a strong reaction if any.

[Opinion Owner]

Sure, good people do bad things. That was never the point, though. 9/10 cheaters don’t change, that’s the Point. And you yourself probably haven’t either, but we’ll just wait and see.

[myTake Owner]

Well then either Way the saying isn’t fully true :)
Time will tell but right now we’re happy and I’m happy for that

[Opinion Owner]

The statement is true, generally.

[Gedaria]

It's possible as they get older. And realise how much damage they do...

[Denniszen]

I dont need to read your blah blah blah... your deeds speak for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Only if you want girl I was messing with tried but “she couldn’t stop”. She didn’t wanna stop or like thrill she had her boyfriend was their for the money.

[myTake Owner]

Ouch, I apologize for that.
Of any excuse to give, that is the worst you can give.
You're always in control to some extent. I chose to cheat and acknowledge that.
I'm choosing to begin a change now.
I hope you find better in the future.

[ItsTheNephilim]

... says a cheater. LOL!

[myTake Owner]

Touche.
The man who cheated on me broke up with me in a non-direct way.
He cheated on the girl he got with after me.
Now he's got a family of 4 with a beautiful wife and they have a happy healthy relationship.
He and I are still friends. We are 29 now and have been friends since we were 4.
In case you wanted an experience that wasn't my own.

[GhettoGirl]

I'll wait for the movie to come out..

[myTake Owner]

LOL is straight-to-DVD a thing? Or was that just for VHS?

[AshleyMadison00]

They change for who they want and love

[myTake Owner]

Everyone is capable of change in the right circumstances, given the right time and love.
I agree completely girl.

[bimmy5000]

Congrats... you are an exception to the rule.

[Syrian_survivor]

And you never told him about any of it?

[myTake Owner]

I told him both times and ended the relationship myself both times.
As for the getting back together, those were him... I always urged him to find someone better, but he said I had been selfish enough and needed to think of what he wanted.
What he wanted, for some crazy reason, was me... and it just happened to be mutual.
Now here we are.

[Syrian_survivor]

I don't know if that's a good thing tbh, it might seem lovely and that he really loves you but everything has a limit, some would break that limit by forgiving their partner for cheating once, but twice? I don't know about that, it sounds to me like he has no character at all, has no self-worth and is too lazy to find anyone better, it doesn't make any sense for it to be good, it's bad in all ways in my opinion :/

You can never imagine how much I love and adore my girl, the things I do for her, how far I go for her, and how much we've been through together is insane, but I still hold self-worth because my well-being might not come first (as hers always does), but it still matters and I still gotta take care of myself so I don't completely fall apart and would need to beg someone for help so they can pick me back up, which is why I would NOT be able to forgive her if she did such a thing, I'd already set a time bomb for the relationship if she cheated the first time anyway, so that decision is radical and unhealthy for both of you.

I'm not bashing on you for cheating because you regret it and it's none of my business, and I'm not entirely insulting your boyfriend and calling him a weak boy who lacks values and self-worth, I'm just assessing the situation, and honestly I think you should rethink bigger projects between you two like engagement and marriage, you don't wanna build something so precious when its foundation is so weak, infrequent, and full of rubble :/

[myTake Owner]

That's totally understandable.
To be 100% it isn't really a full engagement, it's a promise ring but I didn't want to go through the trouble of explaining that.
We are totally happy right now but we both know that there's rebuilding to be done for both of us and things we didn't handle the best when we were together initially.
But we've decided that that love is strong enough that we want to build a future together, it's just not right now.

[Syrian_survivor]

Yeah spend lots of time together, take your time and dont rush anything, stay a while and see what happens between you two and how things can change and if there are any problems, oh and keep kids out of the equation for now, only start thinking of those when everything is 100% guaranteed fixed.

[Syrian_survivor]

And this is a wild guess, but I think the only logical positive reason such a guy would take you back after cheating on him twice, is because he's cheated on you at the same time too, that's the only scenario I can imagine where the guy isn't full-blown cheap, easy, and weak.
But like I said, just a wild guess.

[myTake Owner]

Even if he did, and to be honest I don’t think he has because he’s just not that kind of person, I wouldn’t necessarily think about it now since it’s past. That would just hurt our relationship.

[Syrian_survivor]

He's not that kind of person, but you are/were, that's a difference that should be taken into consideration.

Why did you cheat the first two times? Other than because he was far away from you?

[myTake Owner]

There was honestly a lot of fear, which no that's not a good excuse either. He thought about cheating on me in the past with my hotter friend in high school (and he told me that) and when we got to college and he started hanging out with sorority girls I got really afraid. His friends again told him he could do better, the girls said they could offer more and I just felt like shit so often because he started taking me for granted. He ended facetime calls early, left and didn't come back during calls when he said he would, and always chose to party with those people before talking to me (and he lived with them). I was lucky if I got called 1-2x a week, and he saw them every day. When I finally made a friend (I commuted and didn't dorm), things topsy turvied and he got mad at me. It just wasn't healthy -- again also not an excuse.
If it had to be summed up, I got weak. I let fear and anger and insecurity take over and made a bad choice.

[Syrian_survivor]

And you're sure those things won't come back and make you make immature decisions again?

[myTake Owner]

I don't think we can say anything for certain in any aspect, but I'm going to do all I can and work on myself and our communication so those things don't happen again.

[Waterwhistler]

Yes never, so find new.

[myTake Owner]

It’s all a gamble new or old

[Waterwhistler]

Fuck it.

[PrinceOfAljazeera]

Nothing wrong with cheating.

[raghav_13]

Changed behaviour is the best result

[Clinton321]

Hmm.. Good for you