What You Need To Know If You're Considering A Long Distance Relationship

[samhradh_leannan]

Long distance relationships can be tough, and they don't always work out. They're also something that not every person is suited for. But under the right circumstances, they can be incredibly rewarding. Here's what you should know before entering into a long distance relationship.

1. Communication is EVERYTHING

Communication is always very important, in any type of relationship. But in a long distance relationship, communication becomes even more important, and at the same time, even more difficult. Clear, honest, and frequent communication is your first line of defense against problems in a long distance relationship. Establish a standard for healthy communication right away, and address any issues before they have a chance to grow. In a long distance relationship, it's extra important to verbally establish expectations for how the relationship will work. Are you exclusive? How often will you talk, and when? How will visits work?

If you're a person who has trouble communicating about your emotions or relationship problems, be mindful of that, and make an extra effort not to let yourself fall into bad communication habits.

2. When it comes to long distance, calls/texts/emails ARE your relationship

When you can't see each other in person, communication via phone calls, texting, emails, or video chat is the foundation of your entire relationship. Making a long distance relationship work means prioritizing contact with your significant other, even if that's just a daily phone call or goodnight text. It's important to strike the right balance between living your own life at your own location, and giving your relationship the attention it requires. Silencing a phone call from your SO during a work meeting is appropriate, but silencing that same call when you're at a wild party or tired after a long day might not be.

Long distance relationships, like all relationships, require an investment of time and effort. If you let yourself get lazy about contact, your relationship may suffer.

3. There will probably be a little drama now and then

Long distance relationships can create mountains out of mole hills, and they can create mole hills out of thin air, so expect to deal with the occasional misunderstanding or fight. Employ patience, understanding, and open communication to resolve the issue. Long distance relationships are not the time to accuse your SO of overreacting, or to write off their feelings as unimportant. Nobody loves drama or fights, but if you want the relationship to work, deal with the issue head on so you can move forward.

4. The light at the end of the tunnel can make all the difference

If you have an idea of when you'll no longer be long distance- such as when one of you finishes school or finds a new job and is able to move- that can really help you stay sane and optimistic in a stressful long distance relationship. If making the relationship work is truly important to you, then it's a good idea to commit to a long term plan. Talk about if, when, and how you will eventually be together in the same place- and take that plan seriously. If you're unable to do that at this point, you'll have to work twice as hard to live in the moment, and to appreciate the joy that your SO brings you even from afar.

5. You have to believe that it's worth it

A long distance relationship isn't something you can half-ass. It takes effort, focus, commitment, and compromise. So it's important to really know in your heart that the relationship is worth all the time, effort, and energy that it requires. If you're not already really committed to someone at the time when your relationship becomes a long distance one, then consider whether or not the relationship is worth the effort. If you don't already know they're the right person for you, it will be harder to have faith that the relationship is worth it. But if you truly believe that your SO is special and worth fighting for, that's half the battle in making the relationship work. Hang onto that feeling, and when you're dealing with a rough patch, remind yourself what your SO means to you and why the relationship is valuable to you.

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[Guy13]

It is such a long shot that it isn't worth time, effort, and money expended.

[luvstoned4him]

I've been in a long distance relationships. I agree with all that you say but lastly, Faithfulness and Loyalty plays a big role. So people have to be mature and serious enough to make this work.

[samhradh_leannan]

Absolutely.

[luvstoned4him]

:) :) :)