Why I Am Scared of Marrying Someone from this Generation

[DumbandDumbber]

Today my fellow internet users, I will explain why I am totally scared of marriage. And this comes from a man who is not scared of anything, expect marriage then. Some of you might think why am I exaggerating, some of you might think I should just suck it up and some of you, hopefully, might feel where I am coming from. So without further ado LETS BEGIN!

#1: Selfish people

Selfies, selfies and more selfies. Have you ever been outside and not seen a person take a photo of themselves or their food(WE KNOW HOW PASTA LOOKS LIKE, STOP MAKING PHOTOS OF IT!)? Posting it online to get as much attention for them selfies to caress and grow their big ego, what is the purpose of this besides hitting that 100 like mark? Is this helping the world somehow, does this make another persons life better?
People are so self absorbed these days that they fake certain things to get even more attention, this narcissistic behaviour is so toxic that I really am scared of falling in love with such a person. Because how can you live, in theory, 50/60 years with that person without losing your mind?

#2: Social Media

Aah social media, the platform that divines our generation. I have no Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat or any other app. You wanna know why? Because like I said at point #1, all it is used for is showing off how a exciting and interesting life you got. Besides that people are looking and following these apparently flawless models on there with their unrealistic standards. So what happens now is that people want that life too and anything less then that is not good enough. We need those trips to those exotic islands too, we want those designer clothes too and we want those banging bodies too. So when a good girl or boy comes along but lacks in of those areas they get dismissed or played with

#3: People get bored quick

Why I say this is one of the main reasons marriages don't work these days is because of a form of cheating, either psychical or emotional. Its wifey or hubby that is getting bored with their partner because the 'flame' when they were newly weds isn't their anymore, so they start looking for it in others. Or when partner doesn't provide them with a need they have, instead of communicating that they again will look for it in someone else.
My biggest fear is waking up one day and my wife telling me she doens't love me anymore..

[lumos]

These are some good points obviously but they can be easily solved by one thing: not jumping into marriage head-first.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to know your partner inside and out before marrying them, and that's a process that takes at the very least a few years. A lot of people wait until marriage to move in together, and I think that's a mistake. It might work for some people but in general I feel like it's a bad idea. You won't truly know someone until you've lived with them 24/7 for a while. Also, a lot of people are simply in love with the *idea* of marriage, and are therefore willing to get engaged and married asap. That's a bad move too. Again, of course there are exceptions, but as a general rule it's not a good idea.
So the importance of waiting, taking it slow, making sure you truly know your partner, living together for a while etc. all pretty much eliminate the points you brought up, unless you're with a sociopath who can completely change their personality at will.
I don't think it's a generation thing. People have always been this way. You bring up social media and selfies, and it's true those are new shiny toys to play with. But past generations have been just as bored, narcissistic, and high maintenance. They've just expressed those traits in a different way. Divorce rates are actually going down, not up.

[Lopezz1999]

Your opinion was beautiful..

[Unit1]

Hence why I will never marry for sure. It's probably the reason I will die single.

You forgot about the highly overpriced divorce and the fact, that the greedy government is involved in your life yet again.

Marriage is overpriced and not worth anything in my opinion. It's a piece of paper with an overpriced ring and an overpriced ceremony. Forfeit of all freedom.
This isn't for me.

[Unit1]

I have no social media either and I refuse to sign up for those. I have my private life in my own grip.

[coachTanthony]

People do get bored quick and having a divorce is like switching toothbrushes. It's almost like it's in style. I agree.. marriage in the day used to be sacred and cherished. Just not the same... I don't blame ya bro. Good Take.

[Nyx_85]

I want to find a long term partner but I'm not planning on getting married. I take my commitments VERY seriously but I don't need the paper to go with it. Some people think not getting married means you want an easy way out the second you don't like something. For some people yeah that's probably true. Not for me.

Years ago communities were tighter. They helped each other. Look at third world countries were they have small villages working together. Those people have less but they are are often far happier than we are. Women support each other in ways that men may not be the best at (i. e talking about you know 'the silly stuff') and men go off and do their 'guy stuff'. Or cultures where generations will live over one roof, helping each other out. It takes a village to raise a child they say... Probably holds true for supporting a marriage as well. Here we separate ourselves into these immediate families (often only seeing other family during the holidays and what not). Men and women are expecting each other to be their everything. We can't.

[Nyx_85]

*where. Not were.

[Nyx_85]

Also the power dynamic. Now there is a difference between being a worthy leader that respects their partner and being a controlling dick. Knowing how to make the big decisions for the best of both of you is one thing but like telling them what to do, what to wear, what to eat, when to go to the bathroom... Making them feel uncomfortable and unsafe. That'a not right..

But if you have two people fighting for control over everything that is just going to cause havoc. Of course who leads depends on the couple. But they need to at least agree on that.

[Nyx_85]

Also listen your partner and get to know their individual needs. Every man and woman isn't the same. I had a boyfriend a few years ago that assumed I wanted to talk all the time because his exes were like that. Often I would get off work in the evenings and drive at hour to his place to see him. Usually I'd be there around 9:30-10 pm and I would just want to relax. Have sex, eat some food, watch a movie, play some video games... But as soon as I walked through the door he would want to sit down and talk. Talk talk talk. I mean I don't mind talking when I'm up for it. But like I'm exhausted!

[Nyx_85]

*an hour

[thatguyfromtoronto]

I agree with everything you said. Times are changed now, unfortunately, we live in a society where women are often favored now. Just a few weeks ago, a female h. s teacher was caught having sex with a h. s student, she did not get charged with anything too severe if a man did that you know he would be in way more shit.

A few wks ago on GAG, I posted a question about prenups and how I want to protect my assets, some girls on there started flipping out, why? Because I want to protect my future? I can't trust girls these days either, girls do get bored quickly, girls use social media and can re-connect with former boyfriends or get bad advice from their g/f's.

All I ask is for God to give me the strength to be healthy, be financially sound and be a good person, I am not going to let a woman dictate my life, forget it. Girls/women can be so shallow, indecisive and manipulative, is that love? No, that's HER looking out for HER best interest. I honestly feel like girls/women view guys like jobs, when a better job comes along someone will make the switch.

If a girl or woman married a guy who's a lawyer standing 5 ft 10, I wouldn't be surprised if she wanted to leave that guy for a doctor who stands 6 ft 6. I'm sorry to the girls who may read this and be offended, but I'm a guy who has dealt with 10+ years of B. S, stop pointing your fingers at all guys as if we are rapists, lazy crotch scratching, murders okay... I'm sick and tired of the negative perception guys/men get. I work my butt off in life, I help others, I cook, I clean, I have had opportunities to have sex with girls but chose not to because I am NOT into 1-night stands.

[vonasaurus]

i agree with this~ that's why, until i met my (common-law) husband, i had no intention of ever being married.

social media has turned men and women into commitmentphobic assholes who are too afraid of missing out to commit to anything. this is the age of instant gratification and, if our needs aren't met immediately, we move on.

also, we love things and use people. we upgrade each other on a whim, just like cell phones~ we always want the best/shiniest/newest toy, even though the one we have would suffice, with just a little tlc.

(if it's not obvious, i worked in telecommunications for 4 years and it did nothing for my opinion of people in general.)

of course, there are good people out there... we're a dying breed, but we exist.

[btbc92]

Totally agree. No relationship can last with self-entitled people. Especially my generation. I am ashamed. But I say relationships in general. Not so much of marriage. Because if that person has that mentality now, they will have the same mentality later unless they change out of their own free will. Which is less likely.

[VictoriousSausage]

I think the perception of this generation in regards to romance is bad only because we now have the looking glass of the internet and tools so powerful at our fingertips that we see how shallow we can all be, it's not that People are inherently bad from any which generation, but the loud bad ones make a lot of noise, and we've just plugged in an amplifier (the internet), now we can hear them and only them.

Listen, i might only be young, but even from my limited experience, i can tell you things aren't all that bad about this generation, i was born in 1998, that sort of makes me part of the Millennials, but also part of Generation Z, and i've already seen people born around the same time as me complaining about other kids younger than them, perceptions of younger generations won't change unless the way our societies are taught to think are changed, and you will always find someone who's going to think their generation is better than the one with new things that seem alien to them.

[Browneye57]

Sure. Not a lot of upside for the guys. Most expect unfettered access to pussy and find out that ain't the deal either - as soon as you marry them they quit wanting you. And they'll bail if anything happens to you. Likely sooner, and take half your stuff. :)

But you need to buck it up and learn some game, swallow the red pill. Go here and read the first two year's blogs by Rollo, then come back and let us know what's next: www.therationalmale.com

Oh, and we call these features, not bugs. :)

[nightwing66]

I will tell you the truth that you might get scared for your generation. Look I am not marry. But, I know a person that be there. My father and mother. Here you do if you are scare to get marry. Do: go to a marriage. No matter if you not get marry, go to a your local church to your pastor. Or your parents. Do not: do not get marry when you are 18+. You have plenty of time to have fun. If that person is pleasure you to get marry because some reason of, our friends are married, I want to have a baby again the friends, All the stuff you wrote. You don't have no experience and amateur. Do not Do not list to other of get marry. You have a bad life. You should get help with this solution of where you located.

[DarthLadyKiller]

I so agree with you. These behaviours are rampant. It is social conditioning. Good news, I know a lot of people who are NOT like this, you can still find someone. :) I like your username A LOT! it makes me want to sit at Christmastime with my wife's family and set light to my own farts! :P

[JudgmentDay]

Either you overcome your fear and then marry eventually or you'd have to look for someone older from a different generation to marry.

Otherwise let us know if you'll consider remaining single indefinitely for life.

[ProjectBaby1K]

These aren't reasons to be scared.

The REAL reason why you should avoid it is because the divorce settlement will literally break your life down to build up hers whenever she decides she's had enough of you. (There's a 50/50 chance of this happening)

[Barrabus_the_Free]

You forgot to mention the one-sided divorce, child custody, and spousal support laws. As well a whole host of other good reasons no man should ever get married.

BUT, it was a good attempt, and you did bring up some valid points. So good on ya.

[ASEXY]

Well not everyone from this generation is like that. Some people my age don't have social media. You could avoid marrying someone who's like that or avoid people from this generation. And try to make yourself a little more interesting.

[xxmamichulaxx]

I completely agree with all of this , especially the social media part.

[John_Doesnt]

Alimony is the biggest crock of shit invented by women ever and it's that very reason I will never get married unless she's way richer than me.

[JensonStatement]

you're right about this but that's what is been displayed all the time. Not on the TV but in real life. There's someone who doesn't do or have any of this. I know there is.

[art84]

The social media part I agree with,, it's like everything has to be posted or videoed through social media like look at me and my fabulous life.

[frozenhorizon]

Same but it's more that I find people who do these things you listed to just be annoying and boring.

[Anonymous]

The same here Especially the last thing mostly leads to cheating. I don't know what they cheat instead of breaking up first and finding someone else later.

[independentman]

Let's talk about porn too :)) I think media and social media only creates fustraton to everyone which start comparison between looks, money, etc