How important is reciprocity? Why it's important? When to use it?
Those questions are not an attempt to create a manual, they’re an attempt to create awareness about something that seems to have at first sight a minor impact in our lives, in fact it has a great influence over our self-esteem and the decisions we chose in our daily life.
Reciprocity according to the Cambridge Dictionary is: “a behavior in which two people or a group of people give each other help and advantage”. We can surely say then that reciprocity is a mutual contribution for the well-being of a couple or group. The contribution can be affective and intellectual, and it transmits the following message: “I care for you, I know you care for me. I understand you, I know you understand me”. It brings to the table “trust”, and trust itself brings stability to any relationship. So, how important is reciprocity? Is very much important as many other things. Thanks to our social behavior we have survive catastrophes caused by nature and horrors caused by our self. If the initiative to think collectively and do each other favors didn’t form part of humanity, we would extinguish long ago as species. Our success has come from shaking hands, not rising weapons. I’ve answer part of the second question (Why is it important?), and beside the group benefits, it brings out the best of who we are as individuals. We’re all unique and reciprocity reinforce those positive traits that make us one of a kind. It has the power to let anyone express with words and actions the best of who they are without expecting others to do the exact same thing, but with the certainty they’ll contribute with a positive gesture sooner or later.
Do not confuse reciprocity with self-interest.
Self-interest means seeking someone/something for a personal gain or benefit, reciprocity surpass that expectancy. It has to do with creating a bound of trust with others.
When to use it? I am afraid I have no exact answer for that question, what can I say is that a person alone doesn’t make a party. If there is a lock of reciprocity in a couple or a group, trust is going to fade, insecurities are going to appear and bitterness will take over. For a loving relationship with your SO, family or friends, remember, love is not only in the air, is in reciprocity as well.
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