Sophomore year. I was the new guy again, moving to a new school in the middle of the 2nd semester. I remember walking into my new English class and being told to choose a seat wherever. I sat on the far left side of the room and I didn’t see her when she walked in and sat down but during class I turned to right and that’s when I saw her sitting in far right corner and damn it, I fell almost instantly. Had no idea what her name was of course but I knew I wanted to know her. About 2 days later, I was walking to class, finally excited about something at this new school, when I turned the corner and saw her holding hands with a guy, talking about something. It was obvious they were a couple and I knew right then and there that I had to bury whatever feelings I had, I’m not somebody that’d get in between 2 people, the only time her and I talked that year was because we had to during a class debate thing for a grade, we were assigned to opposite sides. Other than that, the year blew by and I did a good job for the most part of pushing down feelings about her.
Fast forward to junior year, when I learn she’s single again but this time we don’t have classes together. Would’ve sent her a carnation with the little delivery service the school does for Valentine’s Day but decided not to, figured it was too soon even though I didn’t know how long she’d been single for. I’d start to see her more and more at school in passing after not really seeing her to start the year, basically fell for her again, harder this time. It’s always hard to walk up and talk to a crush face to face, I’m sure the majority of people can relate. I’d never done it before, sure I’ve had girlfriends in the past but the feelings were mutual so that came easy or they approached me, which is why I don’t count those. This was different because I honestly didn’t know how she’d react, I was terrified and I almost didn’t do it, I thought about just sending some anonymous card but I realized that would be unfair to her and cowardly. As scared as I was, I felt she was worth making myself vulnerable for. Obviously I didn’t want to walk up to her empty handed so I wrote her a small card, the night before and woke up extra early the next morning to buy a fresh flower + the plant food powder that comes with it before school started. Unfortunately I had to hold on the flower, which was concealed in a non see through bag (I made sure to check it and give it some water every hour), it survived. This was because the only time I could really approach her without putting her on the spot in front of a bunch of people was at the end of the day. She was almost to her car when I caught up to her, I called out her name and I kinda startled her on accident, good start😶. I apologized and then I told her I liked and that she’s really pretty, she smiled but looked taken aback and that’s when I gave her the flower and card. She thanked me, we exchanged an awkward goodbye and she was gone.
My number was on that card along with a few other small things I thought to include. Not gonna lie, every time my phone rang I’d drop everything to check it but it wasn’t her any of those times, I don’t know if she even read the card or not or kept the flower or not. All I know is that that was pretty hard for me to do, putting those feeling on the line and revealing them was daunting. I basically got the hint when there wasn’t even a rejection text or whatever, there was just nothing, but I respect her choice and I’m proud I told her. I didn’t get the result I was looking for but I proved to myself I could step out of my comfort zone which is important even though the sting of rejection is still felt (this wasn’t long ago).
Thanks for reading, just venting out an experience.
Most Helpful Opinions