Girls-- If He Doesn't Want Sex, Something is Wrong.

Though this Take is about sex, this is not actually a sexual behavior topic; it is about how sex affects relationships, specifically from a male desire standpoint. Female desire standpoint is also very important, but it's not the point of this Take; one thing at a time. Also, this is not a Take about sexual dysfunction, as well, and the inability to have sex; this is about sexual desire.

It apparently also needs to be said, judging by some plebeian comments I often see on GaG (i.e., "not all girl/guys are the same! how dare you generalize even though I myself do it all the time!"), that when speaking about generalities and generalizations, we are talking about the overwhelming majority of whatever you're speaking about, not. literally. each. and. every. single. person. on. the. face. of. the. Earth. There will always be exceptions to ANY rule when speaking about sociological matters. However! in many cases, they are outliers. An exception is NOT the rule, or disproof of the rule. If a Bell Curve of people, 66-70% or so think a thing, then we can comfortably say that "most people think X thing." I'm surprised that needs to be said, but apparently a lot of people out there have never taken any statistics or sociology courses.

Now that that's out of the way, let me say that this Take is *mostly* directed toward girls, but guys can still get something from it. Take away whatever you want, but the point is to address more open sexual communication, since sexual dissatisfaction is something that often harms relationships.

If he doesn't want sex, something is wrong.

^ What does that mean? What are we talking about here? Why will you find all sorts of articles online about proof that guys want sex more? including that one from WebMD, or this study from the Personality and Social Psychology review, as just two examples. Isn't that heading kind of doom-and-gloom? Well... maybe, but not necessarily.

We boys want sex more, and that's a fact. I'm not really sure why it being a fact is a problem for many people (seemingly most of them female), but unfortunately facts don't matter to a lot of people, especially in the age of He-who-must-not-be-named. I get it-- that mindset comes from an emotional standpoint of firm belief that the sexes are equal, but just because the sexes can be equal in matter of academia and intellect and office capability *does not mean* that we are usually equals in sexual desire or sexual matters or what happens in the bedroom, nor do we have to be. Many people enjoy saying "males and females are equals" while in the next breath acknowledging that we are not the same, and also enjoying the differences between the sexes. People act like admitting that guys want sex more than girls is akin to besmirching the good name of all that is female and holy, and that's simply not the case.

There is nothing wrong with, or lost by, that acknowledgment. Acknowledging that we guys/boys/dudes/men/males want sex more does not accuse girls/ladies/females/women of *not wanting sex at all* or wanting it very little. It is *okay* to say "Guys want sex more than girls do." I think that a lot of people therefore think it's implied that that somehow takes away or diminishes female sexuality. And... no it doesn't. Stop looking into it so much. Also, you're simply wrong if you think boys want sex less or in equal measure to girls. Science has proven that testosterone, the male sex hormone, has a direct and large effect on sexual desire and sex drive. Arguing against it makes the person doing the arguing simply sound ignorant, and these are often the same people who will say in Internet forums or Facebook or GaG during a discussion, "Where's your proof about X, Y, and Z?"

Girls-- If He Doesn't Want Sex, Something is Wrong.

So what does any of that have to do with my heading? Well, if you have spent enough time on GaG or related romantic-ish websites about relationship advice, you will sometimes notice that there are many posts from guys wondering why his girl doesn't want sex as often or any more. You will also see a few (fewer in number) from girls wondering why their guy doesn't want sex as often or any more. Where did the passion go? Let's address some stereotypes that we see in media (TV, movies, books, etc.) regarding female sexuality: The dude's in the mood, and the girl says no-- she has a headache. Or she's a little stressed from work. Or both. Or the kid is crying in the next room. Or she is feeling insecure, or something. Or she just straight-up doesn't want to. So she turns him down. Now, where do these stereotypes come from? Could it be that there's actually some measure of truth to them? Guys-- how many of you have had this happen to you? <raises hand>

Now the next question is about the guys not wanting it, right? But let me be really honest with you about this, per our higher drive: If the guy does not want sex, something is wrong. It is not normal. What could be wrong? Isn't a headache wrong? No, I mean something deeper than that. Guys only do not want sex for the following reasons:

1) He is physically really ill (vomiting, serious chest infection, etc.) or injured, or he has an underlying medical condition like diabetes or being overweight, or he has low testosterone. A doctor should be consulted in any of these cases.

2) He is stressed far beyond the normal level of daily stress, such as by a death in the family or he has gotten demoted at work or fired, for example.

3) He is really, really physically exhausted/tired from serious lack of sleep.

4) He is not happy about his relationship, or having second thoughts, due to a variety of factors up to and including children not being as fun as he thought they would be, for example.

5) He is losing or has lost some measure (possibly a large measure) of physical attraction toward his partner.

Notice: There is no having a mild headache. There is no "I just don't really feel like it right now." There is no "I'm just a little insecure right now." There is no mild daily stress. There is no concern for the kid asleep in the next room. And outside of physiological reasons for Erectile Dysfunction, that's not going to be a problem either. None of those things stop him from wanting it. If he does not want it, it is for one of those reasons, or a reason closely related.

Girls-- If He Doesn't Want Sex, Something is Wrong.

If he is truly really passionate for you, and truly very attracted to you, he is going to want to fuck you basically all the time. So, girls reading this who have their guy not as interested anymore, assuming they don't think I'm wrong, may be saying to themselves "Well, my guy isn't sick at all and he's not overweight; he isn't horribly stressed from something serious; he's been sleeping okay I think and hasn't mentioned that he's tired... is it really that he's losing attraction for me or rethinking our relationship?" Well... yes, that's possible.

Girls-- If He Doesn't Want Sex, Something is Wrong.

"Wait, really?" Well.... unfortunately, yeah maybe. You may have noticed he's looking you in the eye less. Or he wants to work out more at the gym when he usually doesn't, or he doesn't want to when he usually does. Or he's shaving way less often, or shaving every day when he usually doesn't. Or he is watching porn more than he usually does and possibly masturbating more, which is his right, but it hasn't been a problem in the past. Is it a scary possibility that he's rethinking things? Yes, it is. But it doesn't have to be. In a relationship with two parties, both parties are responsible not for their partner's happiness per se, since you can't MAKE someone be happy, but ideally both parties will try in the best ways they can to try and make their other partner happy, yes? Well since sex is more important to guys on average, then there is something that can be done.

Have a glass of wine or a beer or whatever, and talk to him! Ask him what he wants. Ask him what, if anything, is wrong. Ask him what can be done differently. Ask him how he is feeling about sexual things in general. Ask him about attraction and what he finds attractive. Ask him if there is anything he wants to try. These things must be asked openly and honestly, without fear of judgement, no matter what he says. He will not be honest with you if he thinks you are going to be angry or upset about what he says. But you know what the worse option is? *Not asking him at all,* is the answer, because then things simply fester and get worse over time.

Do not assume that he is happy sexually. He would be silly to just assume that you are happy sexually without talking to you about it, yes? So why would the other way around make any sense? He may be, or he may not be. Just because he had an orgasm the last time you two had sex does not mean he is overall satisfied at the whole picture of your sexual relationship and attraction in general, just as you wouldn't necessarily be. The answers you get may be tough to hear, or they may be good to hear, but only by actually working together and getting it out in the open will anything progress and satisfaction be more attainable. Be patient with him, and let him be honest. Hopefully you can help make your dude happy or happier, just as he will hopefully respond and start asking you some of the same questions.

Thanks for reading.

Girls-- If He Doesn't Want Sex, Something is Wrong.
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Anonymous

    Seriously, it's true. I had two deaths in the family, financial issues, and uni problems which resulted in a lack of sleep. I don't have a sex drive anymore. Literally. It'll come back eventually, but yea libido is a good way of judging a man's mental state for sure.

    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Anonymous

    Is possible for a guy to be next to the person he claims he loves like sleeping next to each other and living together but not be intimate for weeks or sometimes a month or longer period of time. ?

    Is this still revelant?
    • I think a situation like that is the point of my post.

What Girls & Guys Said

  • Goodwifie

    Usually my husband is too tired for sex some nights but we still manage to fit in at least 4 times a week. Sometimes a nice snuggle up in bed is enough to change his mind.
    The way that we handle a rejection for intimacy is very important. Handle it wrong and can have a negative impact for future bids for intimacy.
    A woman who is truly happy within her relationship will not use any of the above excuses.

  • jaimecoucher

    While in general I agree with you, I still feel like there are some key points you're not considering in regard to the entire population, not just exceptions to the rule. Some points of the month women have MORE sex drive than most men, while at other points we have almost none at all. Even so, I believe you're right that young men want sex more than young women 2/3 to 3/4 of the month, however this switches in a person's late 30's, especially with married couples, due to a gradual decrease in male testosterone, and a gradual increase in female testosterone.

    I would also like to add that while your reasons why a guy doesn't want to have sex are definitely true most of the time, sometimes guys are just tired or not in the mood and that should be the 6th reason. If you are right and guys are never just not in the mood, y'all lie to us a LOT.

    The problem with saying that if a guy doesn't want to have sex, something is wrong, is that we will fear/assume that he is hiding something that is potentially our fault and that can cause a divide in a relationship. If he says he's just tired or not in the mood we think "fuck what did I do wrong?", and the more anxious we get about it, the more we will uncontrollably question him as a nervous response, lose trust in him, and annoy the living hell out of him (not all the time obviously, but this happens in a lot of relationships). This will happen even if there were previously no other signs of trouble because of this stigma, and possibly create problems where there were previously none.

    So while your article is mostly accurate it doesn't offer a solution that women have much control over. There should really be a follow up article directed at guys called "Stop telling your girlfriend you're not in the mood when there's something wrong or she'll think it's her fault and drive you insane until you tell her". I think guys are irrationally afraid to be honest with their gfs when in reality it's far better than the alternative. Just as you say that in general men want sex more than women, women are generally better communicators than men. With the exception of some topics, men need to be communicative with women if something is wrong. We can't assume that your quiet and distant behavior means there's a problem with us, because you're quiet and distant randomly, for a lot of reasons. If you are honest and bring up a problem early, it'll go down much smoother than waiting until she's anxious and suspicious from you lying to her

    • Yeah... unfortunately, sometimes there is no having control over it. He may just not be as happy anymore.

    • And like I said, if he doesn't want sex, something is wrong. Low testosterone is caused by a lack of desire. If he doesn't want sex, it's not about how old he is-- it's that he's unhappy.

  • PinkMichae

    I have some experience with what you're talking about. It unfortunately took me time to believe that my boyfriend hadn't lost his attraction to me. I knew he suffers from depression and a stress disorder but it took time to understand the full extent of his anxiety disorder. I would initiate sex and he was always turning me away. I told him many times to please be honest with me if he's lost his desire for me and he finally made me understand that when he is stressed from work he doesn't want to have wex because he has anxiety that he'll lose his erection. Which looking back did happen a few times. When we met he didn't have a job. So he wasn't under a lot of stress and wanted to fuck me everyday. But once he started working he even stopped masturbating. But we worked out a compromise. I leave him alone during the work week and his days off it's on. I would of course like it more but I love him and he's a good man. If he completely stopped I don't think I could hang in their because I'd resent him for not trying. One other thing you can look for is if a man stops wanting sex with you but will still jack off. That's a good indicator that he's just not that into you anymore. But I agree with your my take. And as a woman with a high sex drive it doesn't bother me to admit men like sex more in general. I know I'm an exception to the rule and it's all good. We should embrace our differences and stop thinking we have to be equal in every way.

    • Well I appreciate receiving a thoughtful response; I don't think I ever said we *like* sex more, just that we definitely *want* it more on average. I think it's likely that good sex feels physically better for girls, on average, than it does for guys, which is why they're more vocal the whole time and are moaning and all that. Guys basically only do that at the end, because that's the main part that feels good for us.

  • ObscuredBeyond

    I hold off on getting too physical due to a very traditional upbringing and high morals. That being said, just shy of home base, I'm still willing to go pretty far. And my mind desires intimacy even when my body isn't up to it. The biggest discrepancy tends to be in January - March, when there isn't enough sunlight and my vitamin D levels get too low.

    Seasonal depression is not nice stuff. Yet, even when I'm so limp that I fear I'll never be sexually potent again, I still crave her embrace. At that point, it isn't so much sex as an overgrown schoolboy crush type wanting a gal to cling to, an other half.

    I desire companionship more than sex, but also long to marry one day and have both, in a scenario in which I never have to feel any doubt, guilt, or shame about giving myself to the gal completely.

    I've been in so many star-crossed relationships, I'm sure you can understand how anxiety and frustration would well up. I now count the days until the big plot twist comes and the relationship is doomed. Like I live in some sort of sadistic TV show, and every new relationship is the next season of how can I be tormented by failures beyond my control.

    • Damn man, that sounds like you have some things that are really on your mind.

    • I now know the dangers of watching the heavy handed films I watched at a very young age. My folks thought there was no possible way I could get hurt as a small child watching An American Tail. I won't repeat that mistake. It instilled in me an impending doom instinct that the harshness of reality has only made worse with age.

      In romantic relationships, my biggest fears are abandonment, futility, betrayal, bankruptcy, and getting crushed by a massive falling or flying object out of nowhere.

      Reality has shown me other dangers: she can join a cult. Her mom can suddenly hate me for no reason. If she's from another country, her whole family - or government - might decide they don't trust me. Or she can run away because she's embarrassed about her own dark secrets, then die of a drug overdose, and leave me truly devastated by the senselessness of it all.

      I can admit, I'm a little damaged.

    • Looking for online terms for what bugs me:

      Autophobia, branch-specific dendrophobia, financial anxiety, contamination anxiety, abandonment issues, pistanthrophobia, and other autophobic tendencies. With that much lurking behind every corner, who has time for sex anyway?

    • Show All
  • That is not true. My guy has rejected tons of girls sexier than me and told me when we first started dating that he thinks lust and sexual desire outside of marriage is wrong and doesn't want any sex unless we are married to each other.

    • Alessus

      Did you read about the statement about such cases generally being outliers in the beginning? I feel you missed that part.

    • He's an odd guy, then. But that's okay.

    • Vyxzuw

      That's an inhibition issue, not a desire issue.

      For instance, if a girl wants to have sex in public, the guy might not feel it's okay. That doesn't mean that he wouldn't accept the offer to go to a bedroom.

      So, change the MyTake to if your husband doesn't want to have sex, then it's an issue.

  • ukveganguy

    I think you're all getting carried away with this.. Not all guys want sex all the time and i'm one of them.. Yes i've got some "You don't want me" comments over the years but it isn't true.. I mean, if I walked into the bedroom and she was just laying there naked I quickly get interested.

    • Right... you quickly get interested, don't you? So this post isn't about you then.

  • psychoticallyawkward

    Maybe he isn’t into having sex and it has nothing to do with the reasons you listed. There’s nothing wrong with that.

  • Vyxzuw

    One other issue is that a guy might not feel he is ready for a sexual relationship with a girl, yet.

    While this can fall into emotion trust issues, or something (and thus is a problem), it can also mean that the guy wants an emotional connection first. (Or is religious and is waiting for marriage.)

    On that note, you can say that if a guy is in a sexual relationship with a girl, then him not wanting sex is an issue.

    • Sure an emotional connection is nice too. But your last point is mainly what I'm talking about.

  • azzntittiz

    My men usually always want it, but the last time I saw my ex he was acting uninterested but when I hugged him he was hard in his pants and hiding his erection, so you should also list or maybe he's playing games like a fuckboy.

    • Or maybe he sees you as attractive, but he IS your ex... for a reason. The fact that you see him as a fuckboy may be part of it. Maybe he doesn't want to play YOUR game, and CHOSE to reject you.

      Or maybe the boner was caused by someone else he saw, or a fantasy that went through his mind just before you and he saw each other. Was the inner hug right when you approached him?

    • @LuckyEnough Or maybe shut up, he hugged me and got a boner then tried to hide it.

    • Oooo.. pissy much? I asked to questions with possible reasons for the answer. We have zero way of knowing how you 2 split, what his actual interest in you is, if any, or what events occurred prior or during your interaction. One implied you aren't all that, sorry, its possibly true, at least to him, at least at a non physical level. Two is an innocent mistake on your read of it. Relax, be objective.

    • Show All
  • bacca400

    This is true for most young guys, but there are some young guys that are asexual or simply have a low libido due to stress, poor diet, poor health, or just plain low hormones. Testosterone is the #1 hormone related to sex drive in men.

    But for older guys this simply is not true. As guys age their hormones get lower, and so does libido. At this age a low libido really doesn't mean all that much and does not necessarily indicate a problem in the relationship.

    • When does someone become "older," exactly.

    • bacca400

      It's different for every guy. If they start out with mid levels of testosterone in their teens (their sexual peak) it will only go down from there. Poor diet, lack of exercise, stress, also add to the problem, which is also different for each guy.

      It gets even more bizarre than that. I had super high hormones in my teens, and I'm not even 50 and my libido is pretty low now. That doesn't mean I'm unhappy in the relationship.

      This is why people should not make generalizations to determine a problem with certainty. Generalizations are used to find a starting point, and should be followed up by having a conversation with your SO. Communication is critical in any relationship.

    • ... Did you read my intro?

    • Show All
  • TheMermadon123

    I believe that if you male partner is not wanting to be intimate with you there is something very wrong and you be looking at what the cause could be. I would also be suggesting that if your not providing him with intimacy there is another female who probably is!

  • michael45

    I've been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years and I still want to have sex with her. It's true.

  • D_Bone_Steak

    Hmmm... why would a guy rather jerk it to videos of hot chicks having sex with other men? Hmmmm... why would he avoid you at all? Hmmmm... why wouldn't he be trying to get into your pants like he does with his side chick?

    I ask under the assumption he's a man and not one of these soy boy low T bitch tits that seemed to have sprung up in this world. If he's a dude, he'll fuck. If you're fuckable... now that is the question.

    But again, if he's not what I'm assuming him to be and he loves his soy... you're invited to netflix and chill with me...

    ... Until I'm finished giving you the "D"

    • "Soy boy?" Huh?

    • Soy acts like estrogen on the body... so basically it's like taking reverse steroids. Some of these dudes out there (especially vegans looking for plant based protein) seek out soy for the protein purposes... and give themselves bitch tits and a very metrosexual demeanor. Not saying they turn gay... but they start acting gay.

      Plastics do this too. In some places, it's even in the water. If you're still confused about what I mean by a 'soy boy' just youtube it and you'll learn quite quickly.

    • Ohhhhhhh my Godddd man. Are you serious? You know none of that is true, right? Please tell me you know that none of that is true.

    • Show All
  • godfatherfan

    only a young male would think something like that. Sorry, sex isn't everything. There were many many times I said no to sex over the 25 years I was with my ex wife.

    • Lol, "a young man." Whatever that means. Good luck out there man, hope you're happy.

  • newbie2015

    I would agree with others that mention this is an age sensitive topic. And for the average man in his 30s and 20s it is generally true.

    As a medical health professional, we all know male and female sexual peaks do not coincide. Men are much younger, women decades after. And yes. Stress and family and jobs do effect libido. The same chemicals the body produces that make you maintain weight during stress periods also effects libido.

    In addition emotions effect things. You'd be surprised that many men actually do feel emotions when they have sex w a long term committed partner. And if distrust or anger exist, so does desire. But this can be over come by working through issues.

    Post marriage dating my last partner was early 30s. My current late 40s. The appetite is different. It is still very regular, but i went from 6 times a night to once. I am not silly enough to think my new partner is not satisfied. He's just older.

    • Does he desire little-to-no sex with you? Sounds like not.

    • Refreshing to hear a female state that men have emotions in any way at... even if only limited to when in a ltr. It's a start...

    • @LuckyEnough thanks. I think people forget because they feel differently doesn't mean they don't feel. My ex husband was very emotional and sensitive and still a very manly man.

  • Drooogie4

    Or when you have a disorder. My fiance is bipolar and goes through episodes where he just isn't mentally in the place for it.
    Its life.

  • LegateLanius

    Great take. I'll know what to look for if mine dwindles.

  • Ritchman

    what about if guy accidently injured his testicals or pulled his dick and rupured a vesal these things hurt and dont want to cause more damage if you have sex

    • Well... yeah man like I said, 1) he may be injured.

  • Jon_25

    I.. think I'm an outlier here.
    What is low testosterone?

  • Apocolipstickkk

    what if the guy isn't refusing sex but isn't in its oh by it. if I dont start it we only fuck for like 5 minutes one every week or even 2

    • Hmm. Doesn't sound like a good situation. I think this Take is a good example of what may be going on there.

    • It also could be he is insecure that he isn't lasting very long so he's avoiding it unless you ask. The other is he may be he's a selfish lover who only cares about him.

  • opurba

    Yes or in love with another or interested in smthing else.

  • ladydoor

    or he's asexual and doesn't care all that much about sex

  • MeatPuppet

    I dream of a world in which the same applies for women.

  • Desconhecida

    That really clarified a lot of doubts. Thanks!

  • CoffeeWC

    I love this take

    • Thanks; I wish it was getting more attention.

  • GayHowellMeme

    Cool myTake

  • Nice222

    I agree

  • Great myTake

  • DanFlingwing


  • jacquesvol

    And if SHE doesn't what sex?

    • Well... the post isn't about that. Different topic.

  • Anonymous

    You said something wrong like as in abnormal. But "He is stressed far beyond the normal level of daily stress, such as by a death in the family or he has gotten demoted at work or fired, for example." That is true, but the thing is some men don't have to be that stressed, but just exhausted, but it's just from their typical work life. If kids are involved then that's even more. I would need something wrong with me to not want sex often.

    But if I'm exhausted from hard labor all doing working a ton of hours, my desire to want sex because of being really physically tired could cause that. But that's my point, there are a decent amount of men who are workaholics, putting in 60-80 hours, so I could see how not wanting sex as often, but that's not something out of the ordinary, but their life. And i just brought in hours, then add in those hours and it's physical, back breaking labor, day in and day out. And say the woman is submissive and guy typically does all the work or most of it on top. I could see how a man could still be up for sex if the woman gets on top especially when he's tired, but if she's kind of lazy in bed, then that could lessen his desire for sex too. Lucky I work hard, but I'm not a workaholic, but I know some people who are and I could see myself not wanting to do much if I put in the hours they do and physical labor and I've done previous work with decent amount of physical labor too and strong myself.

    • Well... yeah man, I mean I agree. I think I basically said ^ all that in the Take. If his line of work is SO physically exhausting that he's that tired all the time, then that's a factor. Of course, "but if she's kind of lazy in bed, then that could lessen his desire for sex too" is exactly the point. If she stepped up her game, and he was still super physically attracted to her, he'd want to fuck her. That's exactly my point.

    • Anonymous

      but he won't even if quite attracted to her if he's tired and she doesn't get on top much and he doesn't feel like "doing the work" because he's so tired. Whereas, he'd be up to fuck despite being tired if she took the work load off him in bed and she rode him on top the whole time

    • Anonymous

      you said something is wrong though. That could be routine for many guys because that's not an out of the blue thing but they are always exhausted because they always put in a a lot of hours and have always had a job or career that is very physically laboring, back breaking work..

    • Show All
  • Anonymous

    My husband went through this after we got married. So I'm 16 lying on the bed waiting for him to take my virginity after a year out courting and he can't perform because he was tired and stressed after such a long day and this had like a knock on effect of creating anxiety in him everytime we tried to consummate the marraige. So after 2 months he went and got viagra off the doctor and he was just about able to get hard enough to perform and it was over quickly. He continued taking viagra for 6 months and eventually he didn't need it anymore and has no problem getting hard.

    • Well as I said, that must have been one of options 1 through 3 that caused his lack of desire, not options 4 or 5. Glad that things have gotten better for you.

  • Anonymous

    Good points

  • Anonymous

    There's no problem for me

  • Anonymous

    You have a prosperous future writing bullshit for COSMO type women's mags.

    • Thanks; one of the legal forms of prostitution.

    • Bwahahahahahaha!! They don't let sixteen year olds write for them, even if they pose as 25...

    • Anonymous

      @LuckyEnough Do you not understand that the future doesn't mean NOW?

    • Show All
  • Anonymous

    6. He has a small penis and it makes him feel complexed

    • Hmm. Well... no, not really. I mean he's still going to want it regardless, he'll just be insecure about it.

    • Anonymous

      he'll want sex... but will hide that, and girl will think he doesn't want sex. I heard about a case, where a guy with little penis said he will have sex only after marriage, pretending being religious, but in fact he was afraid she won't marry him..

    • Maybe. Of course, it would just be another reason the passion isn't there. That is a cause for insecurity, definitely.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you, good MyTake.
    My boyfriend and I LD, but we do see ea. other every 2-3 weeks. during the time apart, he has shared how he desires me which I was surprise being that, he said his ex. and him agreed to wait till marriage. I disagreed, that its her and not him. If up to guys, he will want sex. but he never has sex before he met her, so he was foreced to agree.
    when he was on GAG, he asked which is more imporaante, love or sex... many younger users said love. I said one w/o the other its an imbalance and eventually, it brings unhappiness.
    He met me here, he finally have proper sex with me, 2 years now. He stated that men want sex about every other day (his case) and we have amazing sex life... we are working through some other issues otherwise, sex is great and he is the first to make me cum :P
    So yeah, evern though, we have a few factors we need to work through and his job at times can be hard but not mentally draining to the point where he doesn't want sex.

    So hopefully, other people understand sex is a very important part of a helathy/loving relationship and if any who said otherwise, it has to do with your points...

  • Anonymous

    My boyfriend is so busy right now, he's working hard to graduate.
    He insinuated we wouldn't have sex until he graduated (in a few months)
    Something in me turns against a man who isn't satisfying me.
    So, I'm kinda mean to him now and push him away.
    Not only am I mad and feel like I'm not being satisfied... I feel like he's a stranger.

    His routine:
    Go to school and work
    Come home around 12-1 am.
    Work at home until about 4:30am
    Take shower until after 5 am.
    Try to have sex, but I'm super tired and honestly kinda pissed he didn't just try to have sex before doing all that work.
    Wake up at 11-12 and leave for the day.

    I only feel like I see his back when he's at his desk working or when he's heading out the door.

    • Naydyonov

      He's busy trying to better his life

    • Anonymous

      @Naydyonov I know he is, it doesn't make it easier though...

    • Naydyonov

      Just initiate , fuck him and left him go back to studying

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  • Anonymous

    Or he has a drug or alcohol addiction impairing his ability

  • Anonymous

    Boredom or sexual incompatibility might cause this? (One kinky, up for anything) and the other conservative.

  • Anonymous

    6 and most likely) He is mostly or only into men.

    • Lol hahaha uh... right. Maybe so! Probably not, but maybe so.

    • And most likely? Really? Only into men in this age, is practically celebrated. Bi males SEEMS (my observations, not an claimed fact) to be what a very quickly growing female gender want. I have a theory why, but to avoid this going waaay off topic with angry women I'll keep it to myself. Bi men are a larger group than most men want to admit, true, and the majority keep it secret, or only shared with a trusted partner, also true, but the majority of men who reject sex one or more times? Really? Usually it's an ignorant male claiming most women are bi...

    • Anonymous

      Most girls don’t want a bi male...

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  • Anonymous

    That is a pretty good my take, but there are some asexual guys. Not nearly as common, but it could just be that he doesn't like sex

    • Not really. If so, he's definitely not the norm, but a lot of "asexual" guys really... aren't. They just haven't found a girl that they find hot to actually be into them.

    • Anonymous

      Thats not true. Just because you can experience sexual attraction doesn't mean everyone on Earth does. While its not common, many men and women just don't experience it

    • You're right-- it's not common. At all.

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  • Anonymous

    Stress has major affects on libido. My boyfriend has been 24/7 stressed lately and it's affected our sex life.

    • Mild stress will not cause him to not want sex.

    • Anonymous

      He doesn't 'mild stress' that's the way he is. He's autistic and he will overthink what I would consider a mildly stressful situation into something major. Something like an imminent deadline will completely over stress him and obviously if your mind is too busy with these stressful thoughts, it's harder to focus on sex and arousal

    • I see. Interesting.