For the longest time in my life I thought I had to be perfect to deserve love — specifically romantic love, sex and a relationship.
What I see a lot around here and in real life is people who struggle to find partners thinking the same — if I’m not absolutely perfect, no one will ever want me. I need to be perfect emotionally (can’t get attached, can’t be too distant), physically (need to look like a model, can’t have any flaws) and mentally (can’t be depressed, anxious, or too stressed).
Although it is good for us to be in a relationship when we’re feeling our best, it’s not necessarily true that you need to be perfect to have a partner. You are human, you have flaws and believe me, so does everyone else including people in relationships. I thought love would never happen to me — I felt unstable, thought I wasn’t attractive enough, felt like I was too crazy and complicated to be loved.
Yet one day I met someone. He was far from perfect too. He is skinny and small framed and I always said I liked big guys. I am dark haired, and he’s always had a thing for blondes. He is a chemical engineer, I thought I’d never date someone in the same field as me because we would never have time for each other. I am emotional and like to pick fights, he said he would never want more drama in his life.
But we accepted each other for who we were and we lived really beautiful moments together. Flaws and all.
So no, you don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to look like an athlete or an instagram model. You don’t have to be in perfect shape in all aspects of your life. You just have to want to improve and make things work. And obviously, you have to find someone who takes your flaws like you take theirs.