Communication - and Why it's Important in Any Relationship!

MsMusic
Communication - and Why it's Important in Any Relationship!

This myTake is going to be about communication and the lack of it, the #1 killer of relationships in my opinion.

I am a very firm believer in the fact that communication is the key to making any relationship work.

Lack of communication

I have notice that the only time my parents fight, is when someone forgets to mention something. My dad got mad when my brother rolled down the window in the car, because he had told him not to when he was running the AC. It would make sense that, if you first get into the car and it's about 100F in it, that you're going to roll down the window. But what dad really meant, was don't roll down the window, it's broken and it won't go back up. He snaps at my brother. My mom snaps at him. Everyone ends up snippy and frustrated because my dad didn't mention that the window was broken.

My best friend recently messaged me. Her husband didn't make what she wanted for dinner, and she was literally upset about this, she came to me complaining, instead of talking to him. I told her to suck it up, she should have been clearer about her dinner wishes if it was that big of a deal., because she had just assumed that he knew what she wanted.

I don't talk to my relatives anymore. I've seen them once, at my great grandma's funeral. They disagreed with my parent's decision to place my older brother into a 2 year program in a mental facility, and they failed to tell us that they disagreed with it. If they had told us earlier on, maybe they would have resented us less. It would've hurt my parents less, knowing that they hadn't waited over a year to tell us they though a different route would have been better.

Point is. The lack of communication is insane nowadays. Everyone is on their phones. You cannot properly convey emotion through a screen. Have important discussions in person, and have them. Do not avoid them simply because you don't wanna talk about it. After dates, if I feel it went well, I'll tell them that and tell them what about ti I enjoyed. If it went poorly and it was one of my first dates with someone, I'll make it clear what went wrong.

From the beginning, just be honest in what you want.

I want 3 or 4 kids, a long term relationship, marriage and a house. I make this clear after a few dates, because if someone else is not looking for what I am, I am not going to waste my time with them.

Lots of times, relationships fail because one person wants kids and the other doesn't. One wants marriage, one does not. They have different ideas on what they want their retirement to look like. Just be honest from the start and these things won't cause as many problems later in the relationship. Yes, these goals change, but when they do, communicate this with your partner.

One night stands and hookups often occur with one side thinking they have a chance to be with the person again. Friends with benefits seem to end up with one individual having unrequited love for the other. If you don't want a relationship, make it clear, if the other person does, it's time to move on.

Say what's on your mind. Don't hold back.

My best friend oftentimes hides in her bed with a blanket over her head when she's mad, upset, sad, depressed, moody, not feeling good, etc. And she shuts down. Your friends and SO are there for you - let them help you. Talk to them. No one can help you if you refuse to talk about the problem.

I rushed across the state with my best friend and her husband, over 200 miles, to see her dying grandma. If she had refused to tell us why she was down, that would not have been possible.

Talk with your friends and families if something is bothering you. I went on a date with a guy, and I told him what I felt did not go well, which was that he would not take no for an answer. We went out a few more times, things got heated, but I didn't want sex without a condom. He did. He tried to rape me after I told him no repeatedly. I left. The next day I ended things and I told him exactly why I was ending things, he thought it was because we lived too far apart(20 minute drive.). He accepted it, and we have both moved on. If I had ghosted him, he would not have taken it as well.

Make yourself very clear. Don't play with subtlety in major situations. Don't make someone guess what's on your mind. Everyone who knows me knows I say exactly what I mean. I don't play mind games or tricks on people to see if they like me. I'll flatout ask someone, hey, wanna go out sometime? Or you got a phone number?

Tone and volume are important!

An argument usually escalates when one person raises their voice, changes their tone to a condescending one, or otherwise upsets the other person. Keep your tone and volume calm when discussing something. Speak slowly, don't talk over others, because all that will do is cause the other to raise their voice, in return you raise your voice, and so forth until everyone is yelling and not listening.

Listening to others who are trying to tell you something.

A conversation can yes, be with you and yourself. I talk to myself... sometimes... BUT moving on. If there is someone that you are talking to, understand that they will probably want to say something in return. Do not just talk incessantly without a break to give another persona word in edgewise. A conversation is typically between 2 or more people. Treat it like that, not like a soliloquy or a monologue. If you're talking, give equal time and attention to the other people you were talking to.

Also, do NOT treat the other person's opinion as if it is unworthy, or stupid, or as if they're stupid for saying it. If you want them to take yours seriously, take theirs seriously. I have to admit, this can be hard when you're trying to tell an 8 year old why a blanket fort will not work in his room and that their is nothing to build it with, but he looks up at you with big, pleading eyes. I have to admit, I lost that battle. We ended up using hair ties, blankets, and dresser drawers to make one awesome heck of a fort.

Non-verbal communication

This is also an important part of communication. Hand gestures, motions, eye rolls, middle fingers. Yep. They get the point across people well. Avoid negative non-verbal gestures if you are looking for a positive outcome. Nod your head, smile, make eye contact.

The summary

Grow up people! Communication is what helped us to evolve into smarter(somewhat) and become the creature at the top of the food chain. Good communication is vital when it comes to maintaining relationships.

I'm known for my lack of a filter in real life. I'll tell you if your makeup looks funny, or that you're acting like a 5 year old throwing a fit about something irrelevant. Don't get offended if someone tells you the truth. The truth can hurt yes, that's why people are so fake nowadays. But grow a pair of cajones and if you think you need to spice up your sex life with your wife or hubby, tell them that. Don't just go cheat on them to find the adventure you crave. If you like someone, tell them that. Ask them out. If they say no, respect that.

Say what you need to say. Bottled up emotions are dangerous. Communicate with people!!

Communication - and Why it's Important in Any Relationship!
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Most Helpful Guys

  • JimRSmith
    "Everyone is on their phones. You cannot properly convey emotion through a screen. Have important discussions in person, and have them. Do not avoid them simply because you don't wanna talk about it."

    This is fantastic advice, and should be rammed home at every opportunity.
    Like 1 Person
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    • MsMusic

      ohh yeah. Don't get me wrong. I like my phone but I won't be on it when I need to have an important conversation. plus I don't want to risk getting spelling errors, being misunderstood since I can't use my voice to get my emotions across right. Etc.

  • monkeynutts
    Yeah I'll also add that there is nothing you can say at 1000 decibels that you can't say In polite conversation. You should never raise your voice to a woman unless she is in danger.
    Like 2 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • MsMusic

      Yep. And the louder you raise your voice, the more emotional a conversation can get.

    • Yep, that's why you will always solve your problems, not waste time arguing with your partner.

    • MsMusic

      I hate yelling. Always have. Arguing is just taking over one another

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girls

  • Lostranza
    Communication is important in many ways. Communication is essential to our health as human beings as it can signal pain and get others to help us. Without communication it would be impossible to build civilization or any other societal structure. Anyways great take!!!
    Like 1 Person
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  • linds34
    Good post. A lot of people post boyfriend/girlfriend questions on here and the answer most of the time is to just say the same thing to their SO that they posted here.
    Like 1 Person
    Is this still revelant?
    • MsMusic

      Oh I know. Which is exactly why I wrote this. Also because I'm so sick of seeing people communicate poorly - it can be life or death in my job. If someone doesn't tell me they gave my patient their meds already? I might give them a double dose. Which can be lethal.

      Anyways. People seriously need to learn to communicate. It's not difficult.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1727
  • Logorithim
    Excellent take on a subject of extreme importance...
    Like 1 Person
  • Angelina25
    I've been saying this for a while now!
    Like 1 Person
  • bethshepherd
    Without proper communication on a regular basis there is no relationship, you are just two strangers occupying the same space. I get so many men come to me for psychic tarot readings and counselling, moaning that their wife has "gone off sex" and they are now in separate rooms or she always has a headache. No wonder if there is no emotional closeness or communication.
    Like 1 Person
  • bubble_tea
    I used to prefer my s/o clean shaven, because that's what he did when we started dating, but I got used to his stubble after a few years. Now it looks weird when he's clean shaven.
    Like 1 Person
    • bubble_tea

      Whoops.. wrong take!

    • bubble_tea

      Great take! I think it's more important to be good at verbal communication than an expert at reading non-verbal ones.

    • MsMusic

      Haha it's ok.

      It is important to be good at verbal communication which is why I focused mainly on it. Communication in itself is what most people need to work on.

    • Show All
  • Duke_Raul
    I wish my friend had your way of thinking
    She never tells me anything and if she does it's like pulling teeth

    Like 1 Person
    • MsMusic

      Make her read this 😂😂 I'm bout to make my best friend read it tomorrow so she can hopefully grow a pair to say whats on her mind

  • DumbandDumbber
    Here, have my BEST TAKE OF THE DAY award.

    Been telling this to people for ever.
    Like 1 Person
  • CubsterShura
    I try my best to communicate but there are some things that I just can't share.
    Like 1 Person
    • MsMusic

      I know and me too. It takes time to open up to people.

    • It's especially difficult when it's about depression. Gosh how sad is he gonna feel when he knows that I had an emotional breakdown and cried for about an hour. It's impossible to share things like that. 😣

    • MsMusic

      I've done it. I have ptsd. Panic attacks are horrible when I get them

    • Show All
  • JKask
    But if the guy don't know how to express him self? The relation won't work?
    Like 1 Person
    • MsMusic

      Not necessarily. It's something to learn. For years I shut down and it took a long time for me to be comfortable talking to people.

  • dandee55
    Yep. Not just in personal relationships but on the job, it's very important as well.
    Like 1 Person
    • MsMusic

      It can literally be life or death in my job. I work in the medical field, and it's vital for me to know about my patient.

  • musical_kittycat
    Communication is how my parents have stayed married for 25 years! :D
    Like 1 Person
  • IconAura
    Literally, the advice I give to everyone about their relationships, talk to them. If you can't talk with your partner honestly then it won't work out
    Like 1 Person
  • LegateLanius
    Thank you. Good advice. I've seen whole families go to dinner together and they're all on their phones.
    Like 1 Person
  • Saville_Row
    100% Agree with this take. I wish I could do it better.
    Like 1 Person
  • Zorite
    Communication is key, when you talk about everything in your relationship and hide nothing trust is better developed building a stronger relationship.
    Like 1 Person
  • cherryphi82
    I love it how on all these takes, the majority of people giving advice and commenting are single...
    • MsMusic

      Single I am. Because I told the last guy that trying to have sex with me without my consent was NOT ok. so yes. single.

      I have been in relationships before :) and I left my longest one he couldn't tell me why he was lying to me, why he wouldn't return sexual favors, and why he basically acted like he didn't care.

      I'm a pretty blunt person. Probably why I'm single. I tell it how it is.

    • The majority of women experience some sort of non-consensual sexual contact and manage to have relationships. You apparently weren't blunt enough to say no when it counted or to get a guy to give you what you needed or to even figure out for yourself what kind of guy to look for. Until you figure those things out, and take accountability for your share of the communication breakdown, it's better not to counsel others.

    • MsMusic

      I was blunt enough to say no - that's why I'm single now.

      Also, I'm 18 years old, working, and in school... give me a break lol. I work as many as 60 hours in a week. When school is running, that takes a ton of my time. I don't know where I would fit a relationship in right now.

      If you can tell me exactly what I said wrong in my take, where I was mistaken, let me know if I missed the mark. Just because I'm single does not mean I cannot give good advice. There are plenty of 18 year olds who have not been in a relationship. These are my observations, both in my personal life and what I've noticed with others. I don't have to be in a relationship to know I need to be calm when I'm arguing with someone else. But so many people I know just yell at each other, or shut down and don't talk.

      If you can tell me exactly what I said wrong in my take, where I was mistaken, feel free to let me know if I missed the mark. Give me one area where I was not correct.

    • Show All
  • Math-Is-Power
    People should just communicate no matter what
    Like 1 Person
  • Justagirl2018
    Well written and honest, great take!
    Like 1 Person
  • Penelope_
    Nice take!
    Like 1 Person
  • ENTP_EMO
    agree
    Like 1 Person
  • RedRobin
    Nice take
  • Show More (24)
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