Men Don't Notice Me...Crazy, Right?

[Anonymous]

Okay. I don't generally write myTakes, but I've been noticing that it seems like certain people believe all women are widely sought after because [insert reason here]. It's as though certain people seem to forget that there are indeed women just as forgotten and looked over as you are, sad man over there planning to write a hate comment (yeah, I see you).

Me thinking you waved at me, but realizing you were waving to Jessica who was standing behind me. Damn you Jessica.

I speak as one of you, never having been asked out, getting rejected, you know. The stuff that a lot of people have labeled as "guy struggles". I've been jaded by my lack of relationships and lack of even a first kiss. You guys probably think there's something wrong with me, right? Actually, not really. I'm mentally stable, I've got a job, I'm a student, I'm in clubs, I exercise. You still probably think something's wrong with me, but I don't really care at this point.

I guess I wrote this because I'm tired of seeing guys complain over being rejected and unnoticed, proceeding to blame my entire gender, when I'm already peeved because I'm going through similar issues. Despite not having put like, any effort into this myTake, I've realized that maybe we all just need to open our eyes wider and really see that boy looking at his phone on that bench, or that girl sitting behind you in class. I don't know, I can see this getting a lot of hate. But you know what? Bring it.

[ChurchOfIron]

It has shocked me how many women I've met and approached whom have never been asked out, never been kissed, and never had sex. Perfectly attractive women. And not because they weren't interested, but simply because no guys went after them.

I'm dating a girl like that right now. Of course, she doesn't wear makeup, and she looks just a bit masculine, and keeps her hair short. But I swear she could model. Very sophisticated, elegant features. Maybe it's just because she has shory hair and doesn't wear makeup. But she's gorgeous, to me. I was utterly shocked to learn that in her 23 years of life, no men or boys habe ever approached her, hit on her, or asked her out.

Still, while there are many women like that, it's statistically less than men. There's a reason women reproduce twice as often as men. I do think that women, as a whole, have much more access to dating. The average woman gets hit on a lot. Often has guys barking up her skirts.

Guys have to put in effort, they have to charm, they have to know how women work; they have to be funny, intriguing, charming, have balls, be fun--they have to have a variety of good characteristics. And since women rarely even care much about decent looking guys [I'm like a 8 out of 10, physically, but it doesn't even matter] it's all about him convincing her that he is attractive.

Whereas, women generally just have to look good to catch a guy's interest. One of those is harder than the others, ya know? A lot of women have it rough in dating, but not as much as men--speaking generally.

P. S. If you're in a club, you're around super hot women all the time. Maybe you don't look bad, but you put yourself in a situation where there are 9s and 10s all around you. You put yourself in a highly competative environment, where super model level women surround you. Even if you're a good catch, fit, attractive, you might just not be able to compare, in a club. You might try some smaller venues, places less hot women go. I don't wanna insult you, not trying to, just trying to figure out how guys wouldn't hit on you, in a "hit on me" environment.

Body language might also be an issue, if you have very closed off, shy, body language. It tells men to keep away.

[Bananaman177]

This is the unseen cost of the MGTOW movement.

So called, "good men" won't pursue women or even look at women when they are convinced that women are materialistic, lust-driven, and prone to betrayal.

I know several pretty girls who can't find boyfriends and don't understand why men just ignore them all the time, and they think it's them, they think it's their looks, and they don't realize, it's not their looks, it's their REPUTATION.

Women have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad reputation with the current generation of men. Whether this is right or wrong, fair or unfair, it's something you have to deal with.

You have to CONVINCE men that you're not a demon first.

[saltwater84]

It's nothing regarding the new generation of men , woman has always been seen by societies among men as demon or witches.
Who s been eating a apple? And who created such a story..

There is actually a new generation of woman that are working on the terrible, horrible no good , very bad reputation among men.
Whether it is right or wrong fair or unfair , its something men have to deal with now

Men have to convince woman that they are not a demon first.

[Juxtapose]

@saltwater84 Or how about people communicate with each other like sane adults instead of judging each other based on genitals?

[saltwater84]

@Juxtapose nice , love it , but consider that woman's genitals may need a little rest before going on cute little sane adult conversation, since she has been and still is treated insanely, judged on her genitals ever since a snake make her have an apple. that's a very long time ago

[Bananaman177]

@saltwater84 Deny and deflect all you want. It's your life, nobody cares if you ruin it.

[Juxtapose]

@saltwater84 Nobody but insane religious people actually belief that biblical story literally first of all.

And you don't think men are judged either? It's about time for people to stop with this identity politics bullshit and just talk to each other like equals..

[Juxtapose]

*believe, not belief

[Darknut]

@Juxtapose. Did you know that there is a lowes home improvement video out there on how to use a screwdriver. I mean damn. POA is real.

[arineunha]

maybe do you approach them first?

If you do approach them, are you too intense or too distant. Questions that need answers

You know i was always the friend of the girl being crushed on. I even got dumped by someone after a week. there's nothjng wrong with how i look because i got compliments. I went out of my to flirt and it just never worked and i thought there was legit something wrong with me

But i met a guy at a party i found him attractive and he did to (we stared at each other with no words being spoken) he said i was gorgeous and asked me out.

We are together for 3 years now. Male attention doesn't matter, because he's the only one im attracted to

And during the darkest 'single' time of my life, a gay guy (stranger) once told me 'theres someone for everyone. I really believe in that

[dancing_in_nebulas]

Its not another persons job to notice you.

80% of the time I go out, I strike up convo with the guy. Or Ill go playfully dance with some girls on the dance floor who invite me over to drink with their hot ass guy buds

10% guys give me compliments

10% guy literally approaches me

You are unnoticed because you want the world to do something, but you refuse to do anything.

Same with those bitter guys on here.

THEY DONT DO SHIT, GIVE UP EASILY, OVER CRITIQUE THEMSELVES.

Shit comes from shit - so make some shit happen by doing some shit lol

And have fun

[AlwaysBelieving]

It could just be me, but this is my translation = TLDR : Shit or get off the pot.

[Logorithim]

Well, I think that we do notice you and just don't approach you for one reason or another (when I was in my 20s, the only things that kept me from talking to a woman was her looking unfriendly or being a smoker).

Nevertheless, I always urge women to take the initiative when they are interested in a guy and at least flirt with him to get his attention if not outright ask him out.

[SirRexington]

No girl notices me. Even when I go out of my way to talk to her and I think it's going extremely well, she asks out my friend instead...

Or she tells me that she isn't ready to date, even though we have both confessed our feelings only for her to date yet another friend of mine a month later. In this case the girl wasn't aware we knew each other.

Or she asks me out, we date for about 3 months and when we don't see each other for two weeks due to scheduling conflicts, she texts me to tell me she met a guy at some party and that they are moving in together...

Or when she says she'll go out with you but 12 hours later tells me some other guy asked her out a few hours later and she chose him instead.

That's MY life! And I'm not here to compare victim status, but my experience with women has been heartbreaking, depressing and hurtful. I haven't had sex let alone even really had a potential girl to have sex with in over 3 years. I have no one in my life and I'm horribly lonely.
Don't take away yet another struggle men face and make it all about yourself because that's what a lot of women are doing nowadays. Men have their own issues and they might not be the same as yours, but they are equally important to us and equally hurtful.

I'm sorry you haven't had much luck but regardless of whether you're man or woman, being lonely is negative to our psychological well being.

[demonics]

Serious question. Do people know what a general statement is and what its intended purpose is? "Proceeding to blame my entire gender." Dude no ones blaming your entire gender. General statements apply to 1. The people that fit the criteria or 2. A sizable amount of a particular population exhibits the aforementioned behavior. 'SOME" *insert group here* isn't always applicable because some idiot is invariably going to write that person's entire argument or concern off as "yea well that's not me." Example:
Me: "Why do women cheat?" <this is called a general statement.
You: "I don't cheat what are you talking about?" <no one said YOU specifically
^^^AND THIS DOESN'T ANSWER THE ORIGINAL QUESTION.

Now, got that out of the way.

Do you actually like... do anything to make yourself noticeable?
d2v9y0dukr6mq2.cloudfront.net/.../...ol__F0000.png

If you look like this for example all the time, would you approach you?

"I don't really care at this point"
AH you don't actually want an answer... you just want to rant? I wonder if you have a shit personality in real life too! Don't be so judgmental hon, you'll find the right guy someday! media.rbl.ms/image</a>

[ImSoSquishy]

for me, i notice everyone and everything around me in real life, and especially at gym. there are so many straight dudes trying to show off to me, trying to one up me and put me down, gay dudes and straight girls that's always around me the entire gym trying to get my attention at gym. but i pretend i don't notice anyone because i'm just so done, so sick and tired of dealing with people on a daily basis that i don't even want to interact with anyone, and i just want to be left alone. but people don't give up, they follow me around the gym and it's so annoying. there's so many times i would envy you, that i wish people would leave me the hell alone sometimes and don't notice me at all.

[MrMysteryMan]

Yeah, half of the issue is we don't make ourselves approachable or put in any effort to catch attention. If we start to make ourselves more approachable as in our personalities or going out even when we don't feel like it because they invited us out, or going out of our comfort zones to socialize, these things makes us more OUT THERE in people's eyes and they feel they can talk to us since we like to be around people. The ones I don't talk to are the ones that look like they are either too calky, or aren't into black guys or just don't seem like they want to be talked to. When you see someone comfortable with others or actually making an effort to socialize or to be approached, those are the ones that attract my attention.

[RationalMale]

Hmm. Life is tough. Part of me feels sorry for you, but part of me is saying "I've had so many girls tell me I'm great looking, but girls striking up conversations with me is still memorable."

If you're not getting male attention, work on it.
1. Flirt. Make eye contact. Smile. Say hi!
2. Give yourself a do over. Are you overweight? Work out, eat better! is your style sucking? Improve it! Grow your hair and make it look nice. Maybe ditch those glasses.
3. Go where your target audience is. Find places to meet and hit on guys.

[SkipStop]

You don't care anymore. Good. Forget it and go live your life. It's better than doing nothing and getting nothing. Take control of yourself and strive for whichever success you want. It will make you happier knowing that you are still moving forward rather than thinking about getting held back.

[TheUglyMan]

Lady you not any where near our struggle. If you opened an online dating profile men will come to you asap. I guarantee it. But I know women are picky but thats your own fault. The men struggle is far superior to female struggle. In the end as women you will always have a higher dating market value and more opportunity. Thats just how it is. If you took all avenues you'd have a man by now. Also pretty much majority (80%-90%) of women have plenty of men to choose from. Unlike most (80%) men who don't have any potential romantic interests at all. Our struggle is far greater.

[LittleSally]

Hey, I don't think that's crazy at all...
by the way, love Annie. =)

Both genders go through very similar ordeals in certain points - and this happens to be one of them.
You'll probably get a lot of hate - from guys, obviously - because God forbid they come into contact with anything real and truthful that abolishes their victim mentality...

But hey, I admire you for it.

=)

[TheUglyMan]

No one is hating on here lol

[LittleSally]

@TheUglyMan I have a downvote... that's hating...
Also - give it time. =)

[TheUglyMan]

Downvotes are just disagreements stop being so sensitive

[LittleSally]

@TheUglyMan I guess it depends on how you look at it. Mostly the downvotes I get are hate - and the people who aren't cowards about it tell me that too... So... You can't blame me for assuming this one is the same as well.
But yes, they can be disagreements as well. It would probably be a more positive thing if I saw it that way...

Not sensitive... just realistic. (Based on real events.)

[TheUglyMan]

I see good point

[JDavid25]

I agree that there are girls who ain't exactly ugly, and are perfectly normal that will get overlooked, and whatnot.. I mean I'm not an ugly dude either, and I haven't exactly been brimmin wit girls on my arms.. LOL.. So, yeah.. Good short take.. Lol..

[Streamhopper]

Guys have a lot of trouble dealing with rejection; it's why it's so hard to ask someone out. I much prefer the Japanese way, where they confess their feelings ahead of time; they say "I love you" but it's not like romantic love, it's more like I love a jelly doughnut. It gives the girl a way out if she doesn't feel the same, and saves face for the guy.

[Riggers]

I don't think its that men dismiss women can't experience the same, Its just that its a lot easier for women to fix the problem.

I can literally gurantee i could get you a date within a day if i was friends with you irl. Girls who have this issue just ain't doing stuff right, Guys who have this issues are just utterly fucked.

[Shyguy2001]

Correction they are utterly not fucked. Hehe get it

[Seeyouaround]

Maybe you could take the initiative and make yourself noticed. Walk up to a guy and start a conversation about where you currently are (as in your location) , it's mundane but it's already something you have in common with the person. Then just see where things lead.

[Stevepro68]

Tough call although for most people it's not about not getting noticed. There is a butt for every type of seat. I think it's closer for a lot of guys to say the women I want to notice me don't. Of that's not the case for you. Are you really open to all interactions? Self assessment is the key I'm 6 2 and can scare the crap out of a stranger if I just walk up to them and tap on thier shoulder. That doesn't inspire woman to be friendly. Being aware of your own messages matters.

[Anonymous]

You think you have guy problems? Then I'd say the same thing I'd say to a guy. What are you doing to fix it? How many guys have you approached in the last 6 months? How many guys have you flirted with (verbally) ?

Let's cut to the chase. How many guys have you asked out in the last 6 months?

[Anonymous]

I know people of both genders can have that problem but people of guys usually have that problem more often than girls, at least in America. I'm curious about how old are you that you've never been asked our or had your first kiss? Are you thin and are you at least average in appearance?

[Anonymous]

For the guys saying she should approach guys , I approached guys and got rejected lol. some even say it's too forward for them and like I'm coming on too strong.
There has to be mutual liking or that you know the other person will give you a chance , other than that you will most likely get rejected. it has nothing to do with gender and more to do with compatibility and what the other person Is like.

[scottalanmiller]

Guys approach girls and get rejected continuously. You can't expect to not be rejected most of the time. That's how approaching people works.

I think girls have a completely unrealistic expectation. Guys get rejected 80-99% of the time unless you are quite the stud. Girls get a fraction of that rejection and act like they shouldn't have to do it because it's "so hard", when it's "super easy" by comparison.

[Opinion Owner]

@scottalanmiller dude i approached a ton of guys and i still got rejected. i dont get approached , stop acting like every girl on this earth gets approached. not once has someone took a liking to me or approached me or asked me out , some of us girls aren't that attractive and even some of us are below average. i just suck it up and keep on living , thats life.

[scottalanmiller]

In what world did I say all girls get approached? I just explained that guys get rejected all the time and your response was that you don't get hit on? Nothing you said is a response to anything I said.

[Opinion Owner]

@scottalanmiller all im saying is that us girls approach guys too , and get rejected as well. and i dont get approached either.

[JustWorthlessMe]

Translation: "I don't get attention from the guys I want!!!"

Nevermind the 50 or so you've turned your nose up at this month because they were beneath your "standards".

[Darknut]

Yeah that information is conveniently left out isn't it?😱 just keep going down your checklist.

[Philyouup]

wow.. you must be the NiceGuy I have read about.. pretty jaded there skippy.. .

[Darknut]

@Philyouup no personal experience n observation of society. I'm the guy in the cafe shop watching customers come in ordering there lattes oblivious to the world around them, absorbed in their cell phones in pursuit of their next narcissic fix.. No one that would never notice.

[Philyouup]

@Darknut i get that.. I do... When I was younger, I struggled to figure it out

[Truthatanycost]

You just reminded me of something. One day at this Office job, I observed this average looking Asian girl being approached or talked to by at least 8-10 different guys, one after the other.

When she walked by me, I didn't say anything to her and she stamped her feet while raising her voice and said ''why don't you ever talk to me?''.

I said ''I just saw you talking to about 10 different guys...''

Then she said ''none of them matter''.

[may04]

It's definitely more commonplace for guys to struggle with rejection and being invisible, but anyone so spiteful and arrogant as to believe that it doesn't happen to women at all probably has a list of other issues too.

[LawShark]

Yeah, so, I'm thinking that maybe you're looking at the wrong guys. I promise you that there is someone who notices you, but you're too busy noticing other guys not noticing you that you don't notice them noticing you.

[Darknut]

It's always always always the last person in the world youd expect that you would end up with.