We Don't Talk Anymore...

[Heatherrr]

How is it possible to hate and love a person so much at the same time?

A couple months back I posted a myTake on how real life love stories don't exist (Real Life Love Stories Never Have Happy Endings ). I let my heart out, sobbing uncontrollably as I shared my story to you all on this website, having no one else to turn to. Basically, to recap, my best friend and I had to end our friendship all together because we loved each other so much that it was affecting his relationship with his girlfriend. After weeks of heartache, I thought I convinced myself that I got over him, unfortunately I did not and the first few weeks of school have been hell for the both of us.

I'm not usually one to complain, but for God sake I HATE how we are apart of the same friend group. I HATE how his girlfriend is now considered apart of our friend group and how I can't convince myself to like his girlfriend. And I especially HATE how we have to avoid each other, whether it be leaving once the other arrives at lunch/dinner or standing at opposite ends of the room during parties.

Some more things I dislike:

- How we can't have a normal conversation anymore.

- How we always end up arguing with each other.

- How when I talk about going on a date he gets a quiet and sad.

- How he never looks at me, or waves hello or goodbye.

- How when he touches me when he's drunk I immediately forget the conversation and want to pull him closer but instead am forced to pull away.

- How his girlfriend has to dislike all the things I like (forreal I was talking about how cute baby seals were today and she looks at me and goes "videos of people clubbing baby seals are funny." ... *cough* psycho *cough*)

- How our friends (who know better) don't even let us sit next to each other anymore

My point being... I hate the new us, the fake us and I miss everything we were before.

But, people change. Life goes on. Everything we were before is old news. We are now living in an era of "fake news" and I just... can't get used to it. It's honestly tearing me apart.

[Ryokofiend]

I am sorry you are going trough this, I am in the middle of a divorce. My wife she moved on and has a boyfriend. I feel alone and miss her so much. We both took each other for granted and that is why we are not together anymore. The only advice I can give you is for you to take a step back. See the time before you met and go back there. Make new friends and change your group. By this I don't mean to stop talking to your friends just make new friends and try a new love.

Hang in there!!!

[Secretgardenblood]

Good mytake

[courtney06]

I feel for you. Thank you, I commend you for sharing this. That is very difficult to experience, especially if you are sensitive like me.

My best advice is to just let them have their space and meet new people. Don't initiate contact or force a connection with someone who does not want to put in the energy right now. Let him come to you, and when he does, be the kind person you always were with an open heart. I know it's hard to accept what's happening right now. I struggle with this myself. You sharing a MyTake on it is a very healthy way to cope. Keep on being the best version of yourself, especially when he is around you. He will probably start to realize how much he misses you, but don't do this to get him to miss you. Do it because you want to be happy, with or without him. Smile at people, give them compliments, have small talk or deep conversations. You'll start to see that there are other people who look forward to your company and you will look forward to theirs.

My next comment will have my personal experience. It's your choice if you want to read it b/c I understand you may just want to be heard right now.

[courtney06]

Right now, one of guy friends who used to respond to me often is responding less and I think it has something to do with him getting back with his jealous girlfriend (which I think was a bad idea)

When I was 23 I was in a romantic relationship with a guy with a very close female friend. They were friends since childhood and talked on phone, texted each other, and hung out in person often. I wondered why she kept contacting him when we are spending quality time together and the concern grew into anger, jealousy, resentment, and paranoia. Their chemistry was so strong that I didn't believe my ex when he said he wasn't interested in romantic relationship with her. I also couldn't tell if they were flirting or worse due to the language barrier. I was kind to her but deep down I hated her. My ex often told me that people thought she was his girlfriend b/c they spent so much time together and it hurt to hear that. He knew I was jealous and he rubbed it in my face even more...

[courtney06]

My relationship with him was the first time I experienced a romantic relationship with someone who didn’t live over an hour away, so I was terrified of losing it. I remember arguing with him a lot and it got to the point where he deliberately ignored her for days or weeks because I didn’t want her around and I was ready to end the relationship. One day he finally answered her call and I could literally hear her screaming at him. She was angry and worried something happened to him.

Because of my fear, resentment, and jealousy, he felt pressured to stay away from her. I think I could have handled it better but I didn’t know better at the time. I believe I did try my best at first and I asked for advice from people healthy relationships. However, since he was an asshole in other ways and we just weren’t compatible, it complicated my ability handle the situation in a mature way. Glad that's over. I hope sharing my situation gives you a bit more insight. Essentially, people get possessive.

[JackJPershing]

Sadly, this has been a common theme for a long time.

Sir Cliff, nearly 40 years ago

https://youtu.be/C1wdAoSulm8

[Montana07]

Aw I'm sorry