Relationships

Do you have a fear of intimacy?

Tonga

Do you cry a little inside every time someone gives you a compliment that was really kind?

Do you think that everyone hates u and prefer it to be that way?

Do you get angry when even your mom and your best friend ask you whats wrong with your life and prefer to keep to yourself?

Do you break off most of your relationships after they go a little sour cause you all of a sudden find no interest in a person who frustrates you?

Are you looking for a relationship of love and can't find any?

I actually used everything I've done to base these questions, yeah that's right i admit it "I HAVE A FEAR OF INTIMACY", but this is about you, if you do, what does it effect?

"i dont want to show him how i feel"

So what does a fear of intimacy effect?

At least for me and the extensive five minute research i did, I might never find love because i'm looking for it in all of the wrong places. So i've had the wonderful experience reflecting on myself, single on valentines day and crying over a guy that is actually in love with someone else (wow we are both idiots and to be honest i still think he's the bigger idiot after my explanation). but id still like to show you guys my experience if it brings a light bulb in your head ;P.

why doesn't this ever work?
why doesn't this ever work?

What my view of love was before this experience

I believed love was an equal commitment between both parties where they would work to the end for each other. I mean this sounds great, except love... doesn't involve any ego, if both parties love each other thats amazing but there is such a thing as love where someone likes another person and that's it. No matter how painful it is for me to admit and how scary that is for me to want to ever be in. We all dream about having the first one. And honestly id rather be alone and never find anyone then love someone and never have someone love me back

i dreamed of this experiance
i dreamed of this experiance

I'm pretty sure this guy is in love

So observing this guy, he's been in love (gasps the taboo word) with this girl for wayyyyy too long. She clearly doesn't like him and he doesn't care cause he'd rather be her friend than never be in her life. He texts her almost daily and initiates most of their conversations. He always looks for her best interest, doesn't flaunt it but is always a stable friend to her. He could care less if she ends the conversation or doesn't respond for a while, well no instead of getting petty (like me) he starts to worry if there's something wrong with her. And he's always looking forward to getting to know her more everyday.

Like... i swear i would have dated five different other people (if they liked me) after reading my third sentence of the paragraph above. This guy is vulnerable beyond reason and she clearly has all power here. He has wasted so much time and I really want to scream at him calling him an idiot. He totally put down his ego for this girl and works on everything with her when things go wrong no matter how frustrated he is.

Would you do that for someone and why would you?

So... now what?

You have a decision to let yourself be more vulnerable or to not

Well... to be honest with all that information... maybe in the future i will learn more and let myself be more vulnerable, as for now my decision between be more vulnerable, but for now Id rather never love than be in love and never be loved by a romantic partner. But at least now i know i'm searching for an inevitable, which is to never be vulnerable with my feelings with someone instead of searching for love.

Anyways guys, i hope u guys at least felt something from this take, Happy Valentines Day!

<3
<3
Do you have a fear of intimacy?
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