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Asexual people fall in love just like anyone else (Page 2)
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I'm also asexual and it's nice to hear that you've fallen in love (but it sucks that people don't believe it can happen). Don't let your friend ruin this for you. If she can't accept something that makes you happy, then she's not a true friend.
Simples...
Thanks for the thumbs up @Faerthurin
I think she said that because he may or may not be interested in the whole no sex thing. Don't get me wrong, asexual people deserve love just as much as anyone else, but I just don't understand how a relationship could last without sex. My knowledge on asexuality is very limited, I'll have to research and ask more about it, because this has piqued my interest on it.
Think of it this way: old people. Gross I know. But they get to an age where they are aren't physically fit to have sex. Is that going to stop them from loving each other despite the lack of physical contact? No. How about friends or family? No. There is a lot of different version of love and different ways to Express those types of loves.
So it's like the love of a family?
Basically when you fall in love with someone and are in a relationship they become like family so yeah
So it's just love and all that without the lust and the sex?
Exactly
That's simple, I don't know why I didn't understand it before 😂
You are welcome.
Thank you very much 😊
☺☺ Now you can explain it to more people
I'll do my best 😊
Is he asexual as well? If not, it won't work. Unless you're willing to give of yourself to make him happy (after you get married, of course.). But I'm serious: you have to fulfill his needs. If you love him, you have to care for him in that way. Even if you don't like it that much or it doesn't do anything for you.
I can see your friends point though. Most guys won't want a girlfriend they can't have sex with. Your under 18 so it isn't a big deal, but most adult guys won't want that type of relationship, but you can always see what he thinks.
It's nice that you have such genuine feelings for him, very few people do nowadays.
But the fact that he isn't asexual could pose a problem. For sexual people, obviously, sex is an important part of the relationship. So you're gonna have to figure something out, otherwise he will eventually get frustrated and things could haywire very fast.
I sometimes wonder if I’m asexual or just haven’t found the right guy. I don’t really need to be sexually active either. I feel physically attracted to men but don’t need to have sexual interactions with them. Romantic gestures mean more to me. Did you feel the same way when you were considering possibly being asexual? Or does this not sound asexual to you?
Wow I am exactly like you. I completely feel this way. I have no desire to have sex but would prefer an emotional and romantic connection with men.
@BluesheepOwl have you been in any relationships?
Just one
How about you?
I agree! Love is s basic human emotion and anyone can fall in love. You just need to be clear with him that you love him and want a romantic, yet non sexual, relationship with him.
you probably just have an extremely low or non existent libido... maybe your hormones have a defect. you are going to experience heartache everywhere you go as your partner/parthers will eventually move on from asexual and you. a fulfilling life includes sexual intimacy
A fulfilling life may include sexual intimacy to you, but who are you to claim that is the case for everyone?
To a homosexual man, a fulfilling life would be to be intimate with and love another man; whereas I certainly can't say the same thing.
@GuyWannaHelp a fulfilling life is is all that has to offer, including children, sure you can adopt, but it's not quite the same
You're not 'in love' with him. You simply enjoy his company and appreciate his friendship. That's not the same as love. Love/romance is about both emotional and physical intimacy. What you're describing is pure emotional intimacy in a standard platonic relationship.
I have guy friends of mine that I'm emotionally intimate with but I'm not 'in love' with them.
i don't deny the possibility of ace people falling in love, because i experience asexuality sometimes depending on how bipolar disorder affects me. still very much in love with my partner while i feel that way. but the thing is... you sound like a 10 year old, you sound like you have no clue what love actually is lmao
so how is your relationship different than a friendship?
where did i say anything about a friendship LMAO
You said you are in love with your partner, so I assumed that means you're in a relationship, I guess, but if there's no sex how is that different from a friendship? A person can love their friends but what's different that makes a person see them as more than friends?
@Just_a_human i never said there's no sex either? we fuck all the time? what are you talking about
oh my mistake. When you said you experience asexuality sometimes, I assumed that meant no sex.
@Just_a_human yeah i did but that doesn't mean we're not in a romantic relationship while there's no sex? we're still in love and there are other ways to be romantic
it only lasts for a week or so
well... that brings it back to my original question... what is a romantic relationship? Let's say two people are friends and they "fall in love" what changed?
@Just_a_human the fact that they fell in love
are you this dense or just bored and picking apart basic things for no reason
Sir, I'm asking because I simply don't know. I've always wondered what it meant. It's fine if you don't know.
@Just_a_human there's nothing about this to "know" ?
once you fall in love with someone, you just do
so it's just one of those things that's difficult to explain?
@Just_a_human have you ever fallen in love? sounds like you haven't
it's one of those things that you need to experience
well, obviously not if I don't even know what it is, but all right. Have a nice day.
@ghostingz No need to be a dick to her, she clearly doesn’t know.
U r perfect and wanna be perfect.. Love doesn't need or there is no rule that you should be sexual. But one think u get clarified just by talk whether he loves u or not for sure for clarification and don't get hopes untill then because u will be dissapointed. All the best
what are the differences between a friend and being in love with someone? How do you know you're in love? A person can just love their friend as a person so how do you tell the difference?
In that case, how does anyone at all know they are in love? :P
@carameltwin I have no idea, thats why I was asking
Were you born as a girl?
But if you fall in love then? Aren't you just straight and not asexual. How can you then fall in love, but be asexual , because i though asexuals can't fall in love with anyone.
You don't need to have a label just be you. Wtf you need a label.
Exactly !
I find this very beautiful. Reading this make me think that somehow love, dating, and relationships would be better without sex. Not that I'm asexual or think that sex isn't great, it just seems to me that often sex distracts from what a relationship should be about.
I lost you on "Him being a friend, brother or a partner". Don't fuck with his mind. He might be into you and might be having thoughts about fucking you. Friendly love is different than brotherly love and all of that is different than an actual relationship love. Tell him what you want.
What's relationship love then?
Relationship love is boyfriend-girlfriend, husband-wife which involves sex.
So if it doesn't involve sex then it's not relationship love?
Not for me, I'll consider you a friend. I'll be good to you but I won't be in a relationship with you.
This whole thing doesn't make much sense to me. But I will say that when the guy finds out you're "in love" with him (whatever that is, because I wouldn't know) but not interested in sex at all, he will be very disappointed. I know I would be, and I don't even care about sex that much.
I'm not going to pretend I understand asexuality, because I don't. However, I'd never tell someone how they have to behave based on their sexuality - that's some ignorant shit.
personally feel that a sexual people have just been so insecure about the whole sex deal that they stop chasing it or because they dont get it , they adapt to it and stop caring about it , thats not meant to be offensive but im going anonymous because i know how people get
I understand where you will get that idea but I do have to disagree. I, as an asexual, hate having physical contact. I hate hugging people who I dont feel like I'm close to but that is far as physical contact, other than handholding, you would ever get to me. I genuinely have no interest in sex. It's not about 'not getting it so therefore stopped chasing' or whatever. There is a lot of people who just lack the libido and aren't going to chase after something that does not benefit them in any way.
@GiveitaShance Okay thanks for your explaination still makes no sense to me , considering , the whole sex deal is something in your dna , something that can't be overwritten easily , Dont you become sexual when you have a good relationship?
Read the comments just above yours. I explained it in that one.
your friend is right. Tell him very clearly about your condition. It is EXTREMELY unfair to BOTH of you, but especially him, if you get into a relationship and he expects something you can't give. If he isn't asexual, he WILL NOT be happy with you.
A relationship without sex is just a friendship.
Everything you described in what you want is just friendship. A good friendship don't get me wrong, but friendship none the less.