A lot of people don’t work on friendships before dating. I think that this is a bad way to go about it. Rushing into dating causes a number of problems with the root cause being that you don’t know the person fully.
The issues that can be caused from dating without working on friendship before hand is you create a facade and do what ever you can to make it work, in other words your being someone you are not. Then suddenly when your true person comes out, you cause further problems and ultimately break up. Then what if that true person doesn’t come out until after you eventually get married, you then either live in hell or divorce, in other words, you wasted your time opening up to someone and being close to someone who in fact wasn’t what you expected or who doesn’t actually love you.
Let’s say the true person comes out while your dating. This is what usually causes, girls especially, to put all guys into a box labeled “the same”. Not all guys are the same, it’s just the fact they rushed into a relationship with someone without knowing the true person.
Some people might say that you get to know the person while dating. But the truth is, because of the title dating, you create that facade I previously mentioned and act like someone completely different. Which then asks the question, are you actually getting to know each other while dating?
This is why I think being friends before dating is actually the best way to avoid all these problems. While you are friends you get to know the true person, how they act towards you and others, their personality, their quirks. From doing this, if you find something you don’t like about them, you won’t get hurt and you can still keep the friendship with that person going. If you find out you don’t want to date that person but they ask you out, simply say your not interested but happy to stay friends. People say this makes things awkward, it will be awkward if you make it awkward. If you get to know someone, like their personality, quirks and know a lot about them, you can start flirting and trying to show you want to date, it’s then up to them to decide. This is a lot better then rushing into a relationship quickly and getting hurt in the end. In the end, looks mean nothing, if you like their personality, that’s the number one thing that matters.
So, why is it that people want to rush into relationships without working on the friendship first? It will indeed help people have closer, stronger relationships. I haven’t had any relationship at all, but it’s obvious that getting to know someone before dating is better than rushing into relationships. I’ve even looked at google, and it says that science has proved building a friendship forms stronger and more successful relationships. My only guess as to why people rush into relationships without working on the friendship is that everyone cares only about sex and don’t care about have a meaningful relationship.
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