So this dude and I have been in a casual arrangement for some time, for a year or so. One day he lands a bombshell on me when we’re chatting. He tells me that he’s been fully, 110%, faithful since the second month of our hooking up, and he hopes that I have been the same. Oof. I freeze in sheer horror because I have not been the same. We agreed to be casual, spoke openly about boundaries and I stuck to my word. It never occurred to me that he was romanticising the whole thing, fantasising away. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t some dude who I consider a cuckhold of some sort. No. This dude I have truly liked for a long time, the only reason we weren’t yet dating dating is because he had never asked me out. Damn, well, what am I to do? I tell him the truth. He flips out. So do his friends and his mum. Suddenly I go from being their favourite to being hated. I don’t really know why but I suspect that he must’ve told ‘em we were already dating/ ‘basically dating’ and now it seems like I had basically cheated. That is a heap of shit I am gonna have to shovel.
So I make a proposition, I say ‘honey, ok, things are messy right now but since you’re not wanting to end this why don’t we just date. Let just go and be exclusive’.
‘I’d rather not’, he replies. Rude but ok. His excuse is well now that what happened has happened and in the light of how everyone is looking at us it is much better to keep it on DL. He also feels like the original agreement of a casual arrangement is actually a brilliant idea. He even apologises for not adhering to its conditions the first time around.
Ok, sounds shady but after him repeating himself a 1,000,000 times, I agree. Let’s just stick to the old. Fast forward 2-3 months. He comes over to visit again. By now he has already seen some girls so I’m hoping he has winded down a little. We are at a party, chatting and laughing about. He’s talking to this girl and I’m chatting to this lad. He seems rather nervous, keeps looking over at me. I, being my drunk self, decide to push his buttons a little. Not great, I know, but I was curious as to whether his nervousness was provoked by jealously. The lad who I’m speaking to, points out that his tie got undone and I offer to help him. As I’m doing his tie, my (but not really my) guy, storms out, his hands shaking, face red, he is very angry. I have to leave too, we both go home and an argument ensues. But before much is said, it turns into make up sex and we are all good again. He leaves a few days later. I’m left with this uneasy feeling. I have been into him for a quite a while, our relationship is way overdue. I’ve asked him out nicely. I’ve now turned to sleazy tactics to tease his confession out of him. But to no avail. My emotions are spilling over at this point. I’m feeling hurt in the weirdest way. I feel like he is just not that into me. One night I gather my guts and decide to ask him again. Clear things up between us. If he likes me then he ought to date me. If he doesn’t, then he ought to let me know. At this point I’ve been just focused on him and it isn’t fair for him to keep me hanging. We talk on the phone and he reassures me that he likes me very much but, unfortunately, he thinks dating would be a stupid idea, with all the distance and all that has happened it’s better if we don’t. He then cuts the phone call short. I’m lingering by the phone, hoping that he calls me back but the night passes.
At this point I had to assume the worst. I think it might be over. Maybe not factually but emotionally it might have just ended. His replies also become more abrupt. To a point where I feel like I’m third wheeling something. He isn’t even trying to hide that he is ignoring me. In fact some days he’d read my message and not reply until the next day although he’ll be active. I realise that he might be seeing someone else. Again, it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t give everything at least 3 attempts. I just ask him directly whether he has been ignoring me, and he again denies it. What a fucking liar. From that point on I just decide to stop trying. Let him chase me if he really wants me around.
7 months pass. I’ve seen some indirects posted on his wall that *might* have been meant for me. But I have better things to do than to be deciphering his posts. A few indirects later, he finally reaches out, makes a comment about a silly video I posted. ???????. How appropriate *rolls eyes*. We chat casually but he doesn’t seem to be steering towards an explanation for his disappearance. So I tug the conversation that way and he plunges into his side of the story. Which in all honestly, is rather anti-climactic. My dear Romeo happened to come across another pretty girl, sometime 7 months ago, and my dear Romeo being a dumbass didn’t think twice before he decided to try UNO swap my ass for her. Apparently it was all because we had too many problems and it seemed like it would be easier if we just moved on with our lives. Lol. He says he is sorry, so very sorry. But his attitude seems very sure. He appears very arrogant, even disrespectful towards me. And at this point I haven’t even forgiven him, I’ve merely agreed to negotiate. We set a time and place for our next meet. The usual excitement that I feel when I know we’re soon to be reunited is no where to be found. I feel quite awful actually. Like I’m about to sign a bad deal. As the date approaches his arrogance becomes overwhelming. At one point I take particular interest in finding out more about the girl he so readily swapped me for. On asking, he replies me with ‘Babe don’t worry, you don’t have to know so much Lol’. Excusez-moi motherfucker, what did you say? So this guy thinks that he can walk all over ME, then come back into MY life and have the nerve to tell ME how to act? The audacity ughhh. I get more intense with my questions. He seems as flaky as ever. Hold hold up, does he even know what he wants? He says he isn’t sure, he’s missing me but otherwise he has no direct plan.
Well that just won’t do.
I cancel on our meeting, and apologise for any inconvenience this might cause. I wish him good luck and continue on my way.
Sorry for the long myTake, just needed to vent. Hope to hear your opinions/similar experiences. Many thanks.
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