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I tell my husband I want him around more for important occasions (e.g. parties, holidays etc). He understands where I am coming from but doesn't say much on it. He then tells me he will be busy over the Christmas period working. That says to me that he is purposely putting himself in situations so he can avoid being around.
The Holliday's are a stressful time for any provider. this is a time where more money is spent and sometime you have to mingle with folks you really don't have anything in common with. I can not ever presume to know you or the kind of lifestyle that you currently possess. However, a man may be working more to make extra money because he feels if he does not, the lifestyle will diminish. For a lot of people, men and women alike, their lifestyle is who they are. It can mean the difference in social and economic status. The holidays, such as Christmas are times of big spending and trying to make everyone happy. This can cause more stress on a person. If he is stressed out he may be pouring himself into his work in order for it to not spill out at home, ruining the occassions. Now, think about this, you want him to be home more, which is great. But, will him being home cause more tension? Will money that you need later not be there because he is not working. Does he get along with the people you want him to be around, or will it cause an argument later? Everyone want the person they love to be around more. Hell, I wish I could be out doing social event more. but if I did not go to work, I would not have the money to pay for the things that are more important, such as keeping a roof over my head.
Most guys tend to not want to hang out with people they have little or nothing in common with. Since they will have a limited bases of things to talk about.
Could also be he just legit has to work. Due to some jobs pretty much focusing you to pick up extra hours. More so around the holidays.
So he might want to be there. But his boss could have giving him yet another project to do.
Maybe he should be putting more effort in, but it sounds like you're being way too demanding, and that's only going to make it worse. If he doesn't want to go or he's busy, let him and don't worry about it.
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29Opinion
Or maybe he's trying to provide for himself and you...
Seems a bit immature of you to make such generalizations about men based on your own personal experience with one man. There are more than 3 billion men on this planet right now and I suspect they are each different.
Why do you assume he is purposely putting himself in situations so he can avoid being around? I have worked jobs where I had to work more hours over the Christmas holiday season. It wasn't what I wanted or chose to do, but it was my reality.
It sounds to me like you two need better communication. I can't tell where it's breaking down based on what you've said here, but it definitely sounds like there is a communication issue.
I'm assuming that you are both fairly young, and that being the case, when I was in my 20s, I was always a lower-status person at work (compared to others with 5 or 10 years of seniority) and so I was always scheduled for holidays so that the senior people could be off. That's called "paying your dues" and it's a crappy but normal part of being younger.
Before you jump to conclusions, make sure that's not what is going on here.
The song goes :
.. she sits on her ass
He works his hands to the bone
To bring home money every payday
But she wants him to party and create important occasions at home
well my friend you gotta say:
I won't stay I won't stay no , no way
Na na I have a job,
I won't stay , I won't stay no , no way
Na-na, why don't you get a job?
Be grateful that he is willing to bust his ass and provide for you. Women are NOT perfect either , I am a single dad , and after enduring a lazy , ungrateful, unappreciative , constantly complaining slob , before I dumped her , I will never allow a woman into my life , other than arms length platonic friends , I am far calmer , and far less stressed than before , despite the drawbacks of being a FT worker and lone parent
Maybe he has to work, or maybe he doesn't want to be around those people because he doesn't like them/have anything in common about. The easiest way to make a guy happy is to have an interesting conversation about common interests. And if he doesn't feel that with anyone, he shouldn't have to go
You should appreciate your man for working. At least he isn't being a lazy bum, then you'd complain more. I'm sure he'd love to spend time w you, but if he didn't work y'all probably wouldn't have a good Christmas
Now we all understand why guys stay at work 12 hours a day
Because some dont wanna listen to this shit for 8 hours a day , they prefair to listen it for only 4 and go to sleep and go to work before u even get up
If he's the one paying the bills he's probably working so much because he needs the money. Almost nobody chooses to work silly hours because they like to work rather than spend time with family and friends, they do it because they need to.
Or maybe he's working so he can maintain himself and even you?
Majority of women are the most entitled, irritating beings on this planet.
Your husband has my sympathy, you are a crazy person.
His current job has certain expectations of him. None of that will change, until his career changes. It has nothing to do with you. You are acting crazy...
Does he run his own business? If not then he doesn't really get to decide when he is working or not. Either way he's mostly working for you, somebody's gotta pay the bills.
Females then complain about how her man isn't earning enough money. Roasties are not capable of rational discussion or introspection.
Best of luck finding someone that doesn't work and can have the financial well being to constantly take care of you.
I understand him so well. I do the same thing. I hate being around many people.
Sounds like you've got yourself a workaholic. Don't get mad, just remind him not to be so preoccupied trying to make a living that he forgets to make a life
Yes... but why does it includes me and the boys i mean we're just chillingand you attack every men on earth, just try to fix thigs with your husband but don't go there saying all men are frustrating...
So Men? Or just your husband?
If he doesn't want to be around that includes around you. Did you ask why?
I'm a chef so I seriously feel this one as Im usually not around for any Family functions but if my partner asks me to be there for something and I can make it work I will definitely be there, but u gotta understand that having that kind of job brings responsability towards ur coworkers and Boss, on the other hand if he is really choosing to go to work rather than spending time with his wife u gotta talk to him
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