Setting boundaries in an opposite sex friendship

Anonymous
Setting boundaries in an opposite sex friendship

I have a male friend whom I am good friends with. The problem is that there were no boundaries so it was more like a friends with benefits relationship (intimacy half the time). We enjoy each other’s company, and we have a lot of laughs together. The problem is that I have feelings for me and according to his actions he doesn’t. It’s a big problem for me to share a bed with him and talk daily as I am not able to disconnect emotionally so I can move on. I do value our friendship, but why should he commit if he’s getting all the benefits of a relationship? So I had to pull the plug. Not on our friendship, but on my giving him SO much attention and feeding his ego. Yes he was enjoying the ego boost, but I felt empty not knowing how he feels about me and meanwhile, he knows how I feel and he’s eating all the attention up. So I stopped contacting him daily. I don’t feel it’s necessary to talk everyday and well, if he really wants to talk I will hear from him. I don’t feel I need to reach out more than once a week..He doesn’t want me but then he gives me these mixed signals so I didn’t date or seek anyone else and he knows this. He runs hot and cold a lot...one week we will talk a lot and the next he is distant. We will hang out a lot for a while and then he pulls back...He helps me a lot etc but I am not going to stay stuck because he feeds me breadcrumbs of attention.

Setting boundaries in an opposite sex friendship
2 Opinion