I've been doing a lot of searching and thinking about what it takes to make a truly male-female friendship work, and it's honestly hard to find any advice out there at all. So I realized that I would have to come up with some myself and figure it all out from my own experiences.
Here are my Pros and Cons in having a cross-gender friendship between two single individuals.
1) There is the possibility for closeness without having to be sexual.
2) You can be intimate with each other in your own ways without necessarily becoming a couple.
3) You get the other gender's opinion on relationships and other topics.
4) There's more opportunity for you both to be vulnerable and it be OK.
5) You can bounce ideas for romance and getting a girl off of her to see if she thinks they'll work.
6) You have a potential "date" for those times when you're single but need someone to go with.
7) You have a person to go to and talk through your emotions with that will most likely be better help than same gender friends a lot of the time. Women tend to be nicer and less "here's what you have to do about" than a male buddy is. (I know this one first-hand)
8) Your female friend will most likely understand your qualms about women and complaints about them, and be able to explain and help you understand most of the time.
9) The girl will get a body-guard when things get rough.
10) You both if always been single can get a good idea of what true love is and what it may be like to date someone even if it isn't each other ever.
1) Immature/insecure possible significant others may be jealous or distrusting of your friendship.
2) Possibility for mixed feelings if not openly discussed and dealt with.
3) Romantic tension could arise on either end.
4) Drunkenness could cause hurt feelings in the morning because either you two said something you didn't mean or sex happened. (doesn't always though my BFF and I have passed out drunk next to each many times and nothing sexual has happened, we're both attractive people too, so looks aren't the issue lol)
5) Immaturity could lead itself to giving into sexual tension or doing really regretful and dumb things.
6) There's always the question at some point "what if we were more?" not saying with all but most do think of it I'm sure at some point. (I know I have because my bff is beautiful in my eyes! in more than the physical, so it was bound to happen.) The important part though is deciding whether to act on them or to let it go.
7) It isn't always easy to deal with romantic feelings that may eventually develop.
8) Valentines day sucks unless you're close enough to know what each other likes and are ok with telling people that your not dating, that you love them on this day.(I went ahead and when I'm single I've referred to it in the past as friendship day and made gifts and cards for my BFF instead, because even-though we're not dating, she's the closest thing I have to a romantic relationship right now so it worked.)
9) Finding common things to do may not be as easy.
I don't claim to know every Pro and Con to cross-gender friendships, but I currently have a fantastic one that has made my life amazing and I wouldn't trade her friendship for anything in the world. So I encourage those of you out there in one, that if they have really proven themselves to be your friend through thick and thin, then treasure it because it's a gift not to be taken for granted.
Though the Cons should be kept in mind too, because there will be times when you both are tested by someone or something and so take strength from the two of you and work through those times together! I wish you the best with your friendship with that special male or female.
I encourage and welcome comments, thoughts and discussion on the above. So feel free to do so.
Here are my Pros and Cons in having a cross-gender friendship between two single individuals.
Pros:
1) There is the possibility for closeness without having to be sexual.
2) You can be intimate with each other in your own ways without necessarily becoming a couple.
3) You get the other gender's opinion on relationships and other topics.
4) There's more opportunity for you both to be vulnerable and it be OK.
6) You have a potential "date" for those times when you're single but need someone to go with.
7) You have a person to go to and talk through your emotions with that will most likely be better help than same gender friends a lot of the time. Women tend to be nicer and less "here's what you have to do about" than a male buddy is. (I know this one first-hand)
8) Your female friend will most likely understand your qualms about women and complaints about them, and be able to explain and help you understand most of the time.
9) The girl will get a body-guard when things get rough.
10) You both if always been single can get a good idea of what true love is and what it may be like to date someone even if it isn't each other ever.
Cons:
1) Immature/insecure possible significant others may be jealous or distrusting of your friendship.
2) Possibility for mixed feelings if not openly discussed and dealt with.
3) Romantic tension could arise on either end.
4) Drunkenness could cause hurt feelings in the morning because either you two said something you didn't mean or sex happened. (doesn't always though my BFF and I have passed out drunk next to each many times and nothing sexual has happened, we're both attractive people too, so looks aren't the issue lol)
5) Immaturity could lead itself to giving into sexual tension or doing really regretful and dumb things.
6) There's always the question at some point "what if we were more?" not saying with all but most do think of it I'm sure at some point. (I know I have because my bff is beautiful in my eyes! in more than the physical, so it was bound to happen.) The important part though is deciding whether to act on them or to let it go.
7) It isn't always easy to deal with romantic feelings that may eventually develop.
8) Valentines day sucks unless you're close enough to know what each other likes and are ok with telling people that your not dating, that you love them on this day.(I went ahead and when I'm single I've referred to it in the past as friendship day and made gifts and cards for my BFF instead, because even-though we're not dating, she's the closest thing I have to a romantic relationship right now so it worked.)
9) Finding common things to do may not be as easy.
"It isn't always easy to deal with romantic feelings that may eventually develop."10) Love between the two of you will not be easily defined and understood, nor easy to tell to others.
I don't claim to know every Pro and Con to cross-gender friendships, but I currently have a fantastic one that has made my life amazing and I wouldn't trade her friendship for anything in the world. So I encourage those of you out there in one, that if they have really proven themselves to be your friend through thick and thin, then treasure it because it's a gift not to be taken for granted.
Though the Cons should be kept in mind too, because there will be times when you both are tested by someone or something and so take strength from the two of you and work through those times together! I wish you the best with your friendship with that special male or female.
I encourage and welcome comments, thoughts and discussion on the above. So feel free to do so.
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