Don't be like the couple in the song "Escape" (The Pina Colada Song). For those who haven't really heard the lyrics of the song, a couple feels they are at the end of a boring trail in their relationship. In planning "an escape" promising pina coladas and getting caught in the rain (and other goodies), they discover that they really didn't know each OTHER as well as they thought they did.
While the song is enjoyable to hear, here are five ways to avoid having to apply the lyrics to your own failing relationship.
TALK about it!
I wish I had a dime for every time I've had to suggest to a GaGer to simply "talk about it". The moment we sense a lack of connection with our spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend, we need to address it, because that problem isn’t just going to go fly away on its own! Communication is key. As soon as you feel it, let your partner know: they are probably feeling it too! Face issues head-on and reconnect once again.
TRY Something NEW - Together!
If you feel you are in a relational slump, you need to change up your routine. Put aside work responsibilities, family, etc. and try something new together! Maybe a pottery class (ala Ghost, and one of the most erotic scenes in a PG-13 movie from the 90's), or a cooking class. If you don’t currently enjoy a date night together, maybe start dating again. Maybe once a month, maybe weekly. Do what works for you! Take turns planning the date nights. Maybe a new "position" or "theme night"! Be silly. Go dancing. Do whatever that “thing” was, that you have always wanted to try but never really did. Be willing to change things up to climb out of your relational slump.
BE CAUTIOUS of your OTHER relationships.
When we start to feel less connected, it is tempting to try and cultivate a closer connection with a friend or coworker to replace the closeness that we should only share with our beloved. Lean into them during this time, more than any other. We can’t expect someone else to replace the intimacy we have with our partner. Using other relationships for our closeness only leads to terrible decisions and situations that we NEVER thought possible.
PRAY together!
Some of you may already do this, but if you don’t, please ask for God’s help every day! When we pray together, we are sharing our hearts in a vulnerable way, and not just connecting with God.
BE PATIENT! NEVER QUIT!
These things take time and effort, but they are well worth that time and effort. Anytime we work to improve our marriages and relationships, we will reap the benefits such as more trust, honesty, openness and vulnerability (which all ad up to true intimacy), support, fun, excitement, stability, etc. Take it day by day and don’t give up!
Every relationship goes through highs and lows, and it is hard! A healthy marriage or relationship takes constant attention, communication, and work, but it is so worth it when you feel that close connection once again!
So, even though the Pina Colada Song is nice to hear, don't wait until you resort to the personal ads in newspapers for closeness. That closeness is sitting right next to you!
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