It is not about being a traditional woman or a feminist that makes the difference!

Psychoanalytical

Today I posted an opinion on traditional women, that I think will be really helpful to most of you who are interested in the "Traditional vs Modern Woman" topic. My opinion sadly got removed by the question asker, so I decided to post it as a myTake instead, hoping that it will be helpful and shed some light on some of the fundamental issues with both sides.

Before reading, expect a similar post from me on men soon! This message is directed to both genders and not only women.

It starts here

Traditional? Feminist? Or..
Traditional? Feminist? Or..

It is not about being traditional or modern as much as it is about the girl's emotional and moral depth.

I don't want to live with a machine that follows a strict lifestyle without emotions, whether it is feminism, traditionalism, or no matter what it is.

Instead, I want to live with a responsive, decent and delicate person. I want someone that can understand me and see beyond the external side of things.

Let me give examples:

First example, a traditional woman that wants to do all the housework, doesn't want to have a career and wants to follow the "traditional lifestyle" strictly. Whenever I try to help her, I get a blunt NO. If I ever get fired from my job, I simply get insulted "You are supposed to be a man and work!", no emotional support, no understanding, no depth, nothing! This woman? No thanks. I would never like to marry someone like that even if she was the most attractive woman ever.

Second example, the modern feminist that wants a totally "submissive" guy who only supports everything she does even if it was wrong. She doesn't accept any objection to her actions and perceive such objection as "toxic masculinity". Let's assume we went on a trip to a middle eastern country, and she wanted to walk the streets in a short skirt. I simply object, tell her "Please, don't wear this short skirt here since we might get targeted by sexual harassers".. her response? "How the hell do you tell me what to wear and not to?". Again, those sort of women are a big NO. Some of those women tend to have extramarital relationships as well and perceive this as their "right", these women are inherently selfish, they should never get married. They also prioritize their careers over their children and the result is their children grow up neglected and an easy target to child abusers.

Third example, a woman that uses her intelligence, she is neither a strict traditionalist or a strict feminist. Instead, she chose to trust the person she married and be a "true second half" to him. She takes the time to think before responding. She fights alongside her husband and she perceives him as a human not just a "man that should do X and Y". She is not fast to judge, she is kind and caring. When her husband does the housework, she values his actions that he wants to lift some of her weight off. When her husband gets fired, she supports him through the struggle up until he finds another job. If her husband cries or breaks down she tries to mend his emotional pain instead of despising or judging him. When her husband does something that bothers her, she kindly reproaches him through a civilized dialogue. An emotionally intelligent person that always weighs things fairly and knows when she should sacrifice for the well-being of her loved ones. Loyal to those who love her and never put herself or her desires first selfishly.

And remember, this third example is not only for women. Men must also follow the third example. I believe that perfect marriages exist, these are the marriages where both sides follow the third example. We all know that a man is meant to physically protect his household and provide for it. A woman is meant to offer more in raising the children. That's biology 101. But, what I'm saying is, instead of adhering to these rules strictly, use your love-driven sense of judgement, intelligence and moral vision instead to coordinate your lives. Let us not be machines, but embrace what makes us different from animals, what makes us sublime, is our ability to judge fairly and flexibly. (never overlooking the limits of course, limits still exist, but just be understanding before applying them)

It is not about being a traditional woman or a feminist that makes the difference!
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Anonymous
    On behalf of all modern/radical feminists, I actually think it's great that men who have an aversion to feminism avoid dating us. It causes so much less drama when people seek out those who share their morality and values. I don't want to date anyone with a bitter or warped view of feminism. I would prefer that they go off and find other types of women. I can wish them well in their search and be on my merry happy way. That's why compatibility has to be front of mind, not just raw chemistry - can lead to disasters and disappointment for sure.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Excellent point of view there and totally agree. Harmony and compatibility should always be the priority!

    • Anonymous

      Yessir. It's the lack of harmony and compatibility that drives a lot of problems. Unfortunately, I think a lot of people miss opportunities to explore the depth of someone's character and their values, opting instead to avoid the controversial or heavy topics that are really so consequential to how we live our lives and how safe we feel with partners. It's so important!

    • But the thing is, is modern "feminists" aren't feminists. They're embarrassments.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • MAC1983
    See? Making this about yourself instead of having a constructive view on others makes for (somewhat) better reading. Keep at it!
  • ik9999
    I'd separate modern from feminist, in my opinion they're not the same.

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