Hi there,
I feel as if this needs to be addressed to everyone. Whenever you were in a teen relationship or even a relationship now do you ever just make quick assumptions? I know I have from my experiences, you may think you know the person really well because you've been friends for years. But everyone does hide from others to an extent. Whether that be some deep dark secret or just how they act.
Have you ever have a controlling partner? Someone who doesn't let you have choices for yourself? Those types of personality traits are very common with people who are abusive. It might be hard to realize these behaviors right away, you might even see it but deny it. Just hope the best out of it, that they are being that way because they want the best for you. But in all reality, they are treating you as if you are their property. Which you aren't. No one can own a person.
It is okay to stand up for yourself, tell them your concerns. Turn to someone who can help you. You might feel as if you are trapped but you aren't ever. There is always a way out of any situation.
Over the years I have also picked up on how the two different genders are treated after sex. The men tend to be congratulated and earn a medal in a way, while women are treated very poorly. People call them sluts, whore, etc. They are downgraded while the men are raised up. This isn't true in all cases, but most of the time this is how it's seen. Well, news flash it's okay for women to have sex, just as it is with guys. They are in charge of themselves, we shouldn't be judging or making choices for others.
Just one experience I've had with an abusive person and being judged for sex.
I was in a relationship with a guy I have known for quite some time from school, everything was all good for the first part. He then started to make comments on the foods I would eat, and the amount. He proceeds to tell me I looked fat and need to eat less, started telling me what to wear and how to ask. One day he had slapped me because I ate too much pizza, I had gone to my guidance counselor and she had told him those are signs of an abuser. So I thankful ended it. That was not an acceptable thing that he had done.
The first time I ever had sex was with a guy I'd known for most of my life; we'd talk all the time. I went over to his house before school one day and we just started talking about some stuff and I had started to cry. He held me and tried to cheer me up, we then proceeded to start kissing. Kissing lead to more, he did ask if I was sure I wanted to go all the way. At that time I did, I wanted to feel closer to my friend of many years. So we had done it before school, and he gave me a ride to school like he normally did. But when we got to school everyone seemed to know someone happened between us. In my 6th period a girl came up to me and said "You slut, you give it to everyone so easily." I didn't get why the hell everyone knew, I later did find out he told one of his friends then he told others and it went everywhere.
The point of sharing that story is to show you how I was judged and called names while no one treated him any different.
I hope this helps some of you or just gives you more of a perspective. Fill free to ask questions.
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