Dating Young: Serious Steps towards a Sucessful Relationship

[Anonymous]

I've been dating the same guy since thirteen years old, and I turn twenty this month. It's been difficult, but it's been the most wonderful experience of my life, and I'm extremely thankful for the opportunities I've been given to grow within my relationship. And just last night my boyfriend was made aware, by my own admission, that we've now been together over 1/3 of our lives. In honor of this I'd like to share some advice of dating young. There are serious steps towards a successful relationship:

1.) You must be friends before lovers. Dating young is not easy. You don't know who you are yet, and you'll each go through stages in which you're developing and maturing in different ways. Because of this you may clash. Just be there for each other no matter what, be the friend your partner needs through this process. They may need you in different ways at diffe rent points.

2.) You must be patient. There can be a break up or many. And unlike the olden days, breaking up doesn't mean forever, or even that it should mean forever. When taking time apart, it's very probable that you'll redefine your role within your relationship, and will put new emphasis on certain aspects that had been neglected beforehand.

3.) You must be willing to set aside a part of yourself that only your partner may enter. They would never want you to feel as if you cannot depend on them, trust them, or don't want them more than another. That only makes them feel inadequate and unwanted.

4.) You must be strong and not allow yourself to be influenced by outsiders. It's easy to assume that others will try to get in the way of your relationship, one way or another. But you're not dating them. And it's not up to them who you end up with. They don't have to like the person or even tolerate them. It's for your heart to decide who you want.

4.) Never speak ill of your relationship less that wall be broken or friends and family believe they're defending you when in reality they don't have the whole story, or the right to closely involve themselves in your affairs once you're ready to make amends after having cooled off and putting things in perspective.

5.) You must be willing to love each other through happiness, hate, disputes, and disagreements.

[springocelot]

This is a good take but I'm not entirely in agreement with #1. It can happen at the same time. Especially, when you're older, I don't think it's necessary.

[myTake Owner]

That's okay. One seems to be controversial. It's only personal experience. And I feel the younger you are the more necessary it is. Everything changes. Hobbies, interests, lifestyles, outlooks, friends, schools, etc.

[Scrambled]

Good for you! Not my cup of tea though but if you happy, you go girl!

[myTake Owner]

Hey, that's okay (: But thank you anyway!

[ruby20]

This is really adorable!! Please I need advice. I feel you are so lucky to have a relationship like this and well everyone aims towards this. I barely started a relationship and I want to know when the adequate time to have our first kiss. When did you have yours? I want us to last but I want to know each stage you guys went through.

[myTake Owner]

Oh. It was pretty spontaneous, and happened in eigth grade. I just really wanted to kiss him one day, and we were on the bus. So I literally counted out loud and then backed out. When he asked what I was counting for I said that I was counting the beats of the music playing on the radio. Next time he went to shout to a friend on the bus and then turned back, I planted one on him. I still remember so easily. For months he didn't breathe whenever I kissed him. It was hilarious and adorable and I felt bad for him all at the same time. Not that I'm saying we were so physical at 14. Just a quick kiss, yuh know? Just to say " I like you." :p

[ruby20]

thank you so much. one of these days hopefully have the courage to surprise him :)

[guysaskgirlso_O]

me and my girlfreind are both young hopefully we can be just like you guys and hopefully even get married but i knew her 5 years ago but i haven't seen her until now then we started dating i mean we where freinds for a little bit but we just rushed into it so far so good (:

[myTake Owner]

Time away can be good, and it's not rushed. Love takes its own time. When you're ready, you're ready (: And friends can definitely make the best relationships!!! With friends it means that matter what, you'll have known everything about each other, cared about each other on different levels, and are willing to take your time with one another (: I wish you luck!

[sheabutter]

Seems like good advice for wanting to sustain any long-term relationship.

[myTake Owner]

Yes, ma'am. (: Some things we just forget to put emphasis on certain aspects of our relationships, and these five things have personally made a world of difference for me.

[kaminalove]

Story of my life right now. Trying to really respect number 3 haha

[myTake Owner]

I understand that. It's very hard to build up to, and requires taking baby steps on each persons part! As long as you're patient and willing to work things out, it should work out okay.

[kaminalove]

Thank you 😄

[Anonymous]

This is all nice and well said, but you're too young to understand every aspect of it. Personally I don't encourage anyone to date so young it's just hormones there really isn't anything like love. Child-like instincts and reactions, naivety. Leads them to be either too use to different partners in future or not to appreciate it enough.

[myTake Owner]

I've seen many different kinds of relationships. Child hood sweethearts, remarried divorcees, newly married but with children, and general marriage. As far as I've observed, one is in no better of a situation because of it having started at a certain stage in life. Sometimes the best set up marriages have been the ones to fail, even. So, personally, I believe it's a point of maturity and the willingness to constantly work at your relationship. But I understand what you mean about not understanding every aspect. Of course. I've lived little at 19, and I'm always amazed at every new step! And that's okay. Everyone takes their own path, has their own experiences.

[Anonymous]

I've heard the friends first thing more times than I can count. But how do you go from being friends to dating and not getting stuck in the friend zone?

[myTake Owner]

Growing attraction, mutual desire. Realizing your best friend is everything you need and want... you could always say:
"I have enough friends and I certainly want to be more than friends with you"
"You never know someone until you date them" and my personal favorite (my boyfriend tried to talk me into dating for a year before getting in to a relationship and he said this)" Wed still be friends, we'd just call it dating instead. That really got me too. I realized I was giving so much and committed to him long before I admitted to it.

[Anonymous]

Women should not have any choice. They are to be forcefully married off, ie, bought by a man. They are nothing but sexual property. We must train them to follow orders.

[myTake Owner]

Hello, middle east.

[Opinion Owner]

Straight, white male checking in. This is how our forefathers always lived WITH GOOD REASON. You women are nothing but trouble and misery

[JohnBhoy94]

You DON'T have to be friends before being lovers lol... go for what you WANT which is a sexual partner - don't kid yourself.

[myTake Owner]

Being lovers isn't just about being sexual partners. And being friends before lovers isn't about sex at all. It's about putting your friendship before your relationship, and I can explain this. You see, being young and in a relationship means you'll go through phases where one has matured more than the other, or one or both have taken to interests that may cause an imbalance in the relationship. It could be as simple as disliking each others taste in music. But the point Is that something that had left you on common ground has been dismissed from your relationship for the time being and in bigger cases than music leaves you on different pages. During that time, it's important to take ones emotions and well being in to mind. It's not always about what "we" want and need. It can very well be about being supportive about your partners wants and needs even if they dont temporarily match your own... Thank you for being a pig. Its allowed me to clear up an important subject.

[koibito]

I respectfully disagree that sex should be a core component of being lovers. After all it's so casual - anyone will do. But commitment, understanding and share ideology is something deeper and more enduring. One may have sex but it doesn't bring anything to the friendship or romance.

[phanindra554plus]

so cute and thanks for sharing :-)

[myTake Owner]

You're welcome! (:

[jinxxjem]

i Like it !! hope these advice work on us :)

[myTake Owner]

I'm really excited that you like this (: I'd never written anything before and I wrote another take last night just because I wanted to! I'm glad it doesn't come off as something to say "duh" at. Enjoy, and good luck!

[Ashely_Princess]

Nice take! :)

[myTake Owner]

Thanks! (:

[Ashely_Princess]

No problem

[Sam19XX]

I dont think that we should date at this age.

[myTake Owner]

Most people dont. Or they date around. And no one this age means to take it seriously when they do date. If it happens, it's coincidence and not the desire to push a relationship. And it shouldn't be! Settling for an "ok" relationship shouldn't be a thing, and that can happen by "making it work" for the sake of thinking to be in a relationship. It's just that occassionally, people find that there's just that one person they can't get away from.