My Dream Man... The Man I Would Marry

[Alyssa11]

I know what you’re thinking…this is gonna be another cliche list of unattainable traits and in my defence I’m going to argue that yes…you may be correct.

I’m also going to argue that I am a bored 23-year-old girl stuck at home in lockdown and that I believe in the power of manifestation. So here goes my list, and read it at your own risk ;)

1. A Sense of Humour
I want a man who can be goofy at the right times. Who can make me laugh when I’m feeling down. A man who can challenge me and we’ll never get bored of being around each other.

2. Successful

I want a man who's got his own thing going for him. He’d have his own ambitions and passions, and he’d be hardworking and disciplined.

My success won't bother him and we'd push each other to be the best versions of ourselves. He’ll inspire me (as will I), and together we will build an empire.

3. A Close Relationship with God

I want wake up every morning with my man and pray together; thanking God for another day, for allowing us to share our lives with each other, and for giving us all our blessings.

I want him to meet me and suggest we engage in celibacy because he believes that this way, God will bless the love we have for each other, our relationship and eventually our marriage. He will have a vision for marriage to be the ultimate goal.

FYI I am not necessarily against premarital sex, but a man with that kind of mindset is incredibly attractive.

4. Respectful

Picture this, we’d be out having dinner and the waiter would get an our order wrong. He would politely smile at him and say, “I am sorry, but I don’t think you got my order. Could you please get me XY”.

He would treat everyone with respect and abstain from gossip or bad talk. I will always be proud to be by his side and he will always treat me with respect, even at the worst of times. He will be gentle with my feelings, listen to what I have to say and communicate in a mature and understanding way.

5. A Passionate Lover

You can define ‘passionate’ in whatever way you want to ;)

But this is a really important aspect for me and I can never be with someone who won’t be passionate with me. I want him to be physically passionate (and very adventurous under the sheets ;)), as well as pay attention to my feelings and needs.

6. Fit and Healthy

I want him to work out and be muscular. He will also commit to a healthy lifestyle and diet, and abstain from any smoking and excess drinking.

Before anyone says anything - I am myself fit and healthy, so I have every right to wish the same in a partner.

All in all, I would like a life partner to share everything with, my successes and even my failures. We will always take care of each other and look forward to coming home to each other. Cuddling on our coach and watching TV together would be the part I look forward to the most every day.

I want to cook his favourite meals in his favourite lingerie sets and make sure he comes to a well-kept, cosy home.

I want us to inspire each other and be the ultimate power couple.

Together, we will accomplish everything.

[LightyGreen]

Those are traits everyone should possess. Lol they are not unattainable traits.

let's start with no.2: lol why wouldn't anyone want a successful person. A fat, lazy, 24/7 anime watching immature person can't run a family

no.3: is important for religious people. No explanation needed

no.4: being respectful is a basic requirement of being Human.

no.5: no explanation needed lol

no.6: being fit and healthy is a wise choice because you'll feel better moreover fit people are more immune to diseases and almost never face weight and heart problems

well... I'm the lazy dude (not fat and 24/7 anime watching though immature person though) and I want to have those traits lol. I think everyone should be working for them if they don't have them.

[Alyssa11]

Well thank you!!! Finally someone on GAG who has basic standards!!!

[LightyGreen]

lol thank you for giving me mho and you're too nice. If it was me I would have given very harsh replies to some users

[Anonymous]

Don't listen to the naysayers. You can find a man like that if you are truly the woman you seem to be. Men like that exist, but you need to be as good a woman as you expect him to be a man. If you are, then I hope you find your man and I hope he treats you like gold.

[Alyssa11]

Thank you for this lovely comment!

[PoliteSpeaker]

@alyssa11
Habakkuk 2:2-3
[2] "And the LORD answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. [3] For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry."

Mark 11:22
“Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. 23 “Truly[a] I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart (the early greeks referred to the subconscious mind as the heart) but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
-
You must believe it before you can see it.
I'll tell you what is incredible, there is a power within you, and if you get that picture of seeing the invisible, then you get emotionally involved with it, it will begin to move into physical form.
So that's see the invisible, believe in the incredible, and that will permit you to receive what the masses call impossible.
-
It's the same power David used against Goliath. The same power Samuel Adams and John Hancock organized and use way before Washington's army began the fight. The same power Henry Ford used to create the first v8 engine. His engineers told him it couldn't be done but he kept saying go back and try again. Keep in mind he was the one paying the checks. People spent millions on trying to figure out how to fly. Then 2 bicycle mechanics come along from Dayton Ohio and some how figure it out. "I can see it brother I can see it".
-
So you know what you want now you build that image of your guy in your mind and in 1st person start living with him. In your mind. Get emotionally involved. The subconscious mind is also referred to as the emotional mind. Emotion is what is going to turn that image over to the subconscious so that it becomes fixed. Jesus said you have to believe it in your heart. Your belief system is based on your evaluation of something and if you reevaluation a situation frequently and often enough your belief about that thing or situation will begin to change. Obsessional repetition. Eventually it is going to feel extremely natural. Prayer is the movement that takes place between spirit and form. Everything is a representation of the invisible. You are made in Gods image. Everything includes you. That is why God is omnipresent because he is in all things. Spirit moves, into action, through all things animate and inanimate in order to get you what you have ask for. What you believe you are already in possession of. Spirit awaits direction from the soul. You are a soul. God is no small god. I don't care how lofty you think what you are asking for is, he can do it. But you have to believe. It has to be fixed in your heart. And you have to understand there is an appointed time. There is a gestation period for all seeds physical and spiritual. God operates on already established lines. If you get in harmony with Gods modus operandi you'll get your guy. When you get in the frequency of having your guy and that becomes fixed in the paradigm you will begin to attract and move everything you need to in order for him to show up. “Any idea that is held in the mind that is either feared or revered will, begin at once to clothe itself in the most convenient and appropriate physical forms available.” (Andrew Carnegie (the 5th richest man in recorded history))

Lastly, you have to make ready for him. There is a law... Called the vacuum law of prosperity. You must begin to make a space for the good you desire. Don't be casually messing with dudes you don't plan on marrying if you want this guy to show up. And make sure you are a harmonious fit for this guy you describe.

[Alyssa11]

Thank you for sharing this!!

[Solo22]

Isn't number 2 the truth, I seem to be the only one in my relationships who has that vision. All they want is stupid shit like furniture, make-up, name brand purses, eating out, etc. If they could focus on the big stuff, building wealth, buying property, being debt-free, you get more out of life and for your money.

3) Kind of. I don't want someone who doesn't believe in something, but not a Jesus-freak church girl. The whole marriage before sex thing doesn't work, and that's one reason why people suck in bed in their later years. Like anything else, you need practice. All the ex's you ever had give you experience, and help you with your next partner. (They might like different things, but still)

4) Yes, no one wants a scene every time they don't get their way.

6) Obvious yes. I don't expect perfection, but I have to want to sleep with her. I would say an average female build is ok. I don't want a girl with zero body fat and chiseled abs, that shit isn't sexy. A woman should have a soft, sexy, curvy body.

[abc3643]

This:

2. Successful

I want a man who's got his own thing going for him. He’d have his own ambitions and passions, and he’d be hardworking and disciplined.

My success won't bother him and we'd push each other to be the best versions of ourselves. He’ll inspire me (as will I), and together we will build an empire. Good luck with that because you'd be taking second place behind his career. When you need him most, he will blow you off because he will always have career "needs" at the moment. It's a lonely existence and the source of a lot of infidelity or break-ups.

[Alyssa11]

Not a crazy successful career. Just someone who’s ambitious and isn’t laying around at the house all day with no goals nothing.

[EyebrowChewie]

"Gulp"

Passionate? What does this even mean?
Like if she falls asleep having sex and you haven't cared to notice or even tried to stop her losing focus? 😭
And or you came and just left her there to finish herself off, and then return for Christmas?
If a woman or girl is worth it, he'll do whatever it takes to have her feeling like his body will get her wet just looking lol I unfortunately have got a bit of a dad bod from not being able to swim since the lockdown. Last time I went swimming I snapped a girl and she literally replied showed me a video of her squeezing her pet rabbit 😂 I had to replay it repeatedly to understand what this even meant.

[Alyssa11]

Lol don't worry boo, I've lost some shape too since the gyms have been closed.

[EyebrowChewie]

i think sharing unsuccess is not acceptable though, youve set a high expectation already without that.
If you expect all, you'll find those who you believe meets most of your expectations have lived and be living a priviledged life and likely to drop you like a hat at the first sign of trouble. I watched a video about priviledge on SC and it annoyed me to hell that the one at the front looked the part but someone i realised is likely someone who'd go to daddy if they got into trouble. Here's another video like it..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUUY92hQlOU

[Alyssa11]

If I fail to get a promotion at my job one day or my partner doesn’t get the job for example, I want to be able to share that moment with him and support him. That’s all I mean.

[EyebrowChewie]

Ooh I see, yeah that kind of genuine support is hard to come by so only give it to someone who deserves it. I saw that from a girl whose boyfriend was a whackjob. He actually squeezed her breast hard infront of me to punish her for talking about his failure with me and this was just after I tried to cheer him up because he looked depressed and caused her to run late by being a cry baby in the morning. She asked me to cheer him up. But because of his childish behaviour it came across to her like id deliberately got her into trouble. They were in a toxic relationship and she was ignorant of that. I however am open and honest about my failures I don't get moany and bitchy so to me unsuccess is not a big deal. A video call with a date I told her I have been feeling down, she didn't judge me and could see i am not going down a dark path.

[EyebrowChewie]

If she was to tell a friend that she met a guy whose feeling down and was still able to have a video call with her and even talk about it, I'm not going to run up to her and punish her 😂
But anyway each persons different to you sharing unsuccess is a big thing and so I get why you have it in your wants. The key thing to me is how they go about improving

[Angelo75]

Here comes the magic question.
The real magic with relationships is thinking what YOU can't wait to GIVE that person.
Like... "I can't wait to have someone I can cuddle with... kiss him... find out his hobbies and try to do them for adventures sake..."

Life experience have shown that the more you look for what you can GET from a partner, the more u'll be disappointed in him for not giving that to you.
The more you look for what you expect him to be, the more it'll frustrate you when he's not like you want to.

I'm not judging or attacking u, heh. I'm just trying to give a friendly "be careful" warning. That's all.

[Alyssa11]

Of course!

[TonyMetal___86]

That's a REAL PRINCESS RAPUNZEL 😂
I love everything that you have said, that's how i think too except i'm not very fit anymore cause i stopped going to the gym ages ago 😁

I also prefer to marry a girl who adores becoming a housewife because i believe in the traditional gender roles, the man works outside and the wife inside "happy, safe and warm" also she doesn't have to worry about money or bills or her bossor how to manage dealing between her family and job!

Other than that, all what you wrote are amazing, i also prefer sex after marriage cause a man needs to marry a girl and be blessed from god to make them one and a family and at this point the man and his wife can be united physically 😊

I'm a cannibal so i might eat my future wife in bed like a lion cause she will be my cake 😋

[Alyssa11]

For sure! And you are a funny guy :P :D

[TonyMetal___86]

Hehe! I'm still trying to figure a way how to climb this tower so i be able to snatch princess rapunzel and take her with me, she have yo throw her hair so i use it like a rope to climp on the tower but she's sleeping 😂😂

[Alyssa11]

loooool

[bamesjond0069]

I generally meet your requirements but two things:

1. "My success won't bother him and we'd push each other to be the best versions of ourselves. He’ll inspire me (as will I), and together we will build an empire." Depends on your definition of success. I would never seriously date a woman interested in career success *puke*

2. "and suggest we engage in celibacy" if you are a virgin waiting for marriage sure thing, super hot. If not, thats a hard pass. What moron is going to wait when you slept around with other guys. Why is that something you even find attractive? Morons? Really?

[Alyssa11]

Thanks for your comment.

1 - you really don’t like successful woman? I’m gonna be transparent with you and say that if it weren’t for my career my mental health would be down the drain. It’s really helpful to feel a sense of accomplishment every day to overall feel good about yourself. That feeling isn’t gender exclusive and that is my intention going into it only. I want to add a benefit to society. I’m never going to make my partner feel as if he’s lucky to be with me or I’m too good for him, say if my career was more successful. I’m only asking for a partner who isn’t sitting at home all day and doing nothing with his life. No ambitions no passions no plans.

2 - that’s an interesting note and seems logical. Thanks for sharing. I guess you’re suggesting I hold onto my virginity a little bit longer lol.

[bamesjond0069]

1. I think a successful woman excels at a woman's optimal role, not a mans role. The equivalent to the horror i feel when seeing what you wrote would be a man who said "I excel at cooking, cleaning and caring for children. And i am only interested in women who excel at those things too." Like wtf 🤣 do you not see the obvious flaws with that? Well the same ones exist with what you are doing too. Non successful men will appreciate your career success because they need the help. Successful men won't care about your career success but will not count it as an excuse for not being good at the womans role. Ie a jobless girl who is a great cook and makes every meal is a superior to a girl with a great job but only has time energy skill to cook 3 dinners a week. The job doesn't make up for the lack of homemaking skill because in a successful mans mind it counts for nothing.

2. Yes. If you want a man to value your V and sexuality then definitely hang onto it. Good girl. 😊

[Alyssa11]

Thanks for sharing :)

[HeyMikeyLikesIt]

Think about this though, just as a devil’s advocate- what are you bringing to the table? And does someone with all those traits want what you are? You’ll have to learn compromise on some things and not on others. Your list isn’t too unrealistic though

[Alyssa11]

I bring to the table the exact same traits. Everything I’ve listed I possess. If I want to get married and share my life with someone I want to be with someone who will compliment me and share similar values in life.

[AlexanderAnttila]

Sounds good all around. Healthy and wise wishes for your marriage! Not too dissimilar from my own take :P But when it comes down to it many of these attributes are universally desired. Not everyone bother looking for it though, or believe it attainable.

[Alyssa11]

Thanks :) and I guess so. Some comments really think this is unrealistic! :/ everything I’ve listed I possess myself :)

[AlexanderAnttila]

Indeed, and same!

[yucel_eden]

🙄 Maybe if Jesus gets resurrected and decides to go to the gym and become hench.

[Alyssa11]

Loooool

[cush_ebo]

Thanks.

[Dragonpurple]

You can get some or most of those, but good luck finding all of them. Even if you do, people change when your married and not the same and what you thought they had, they do not as much as you thought.

People need to learn (and want to) grow together as a unit. Its like a puzzle, if the pieces don't fit at first, don't give up... unless they are like super far apart, then give up but if they are kind of close you can work at it and figure things out.

These people that have been married 50+ years, are not the same as when they got married, they just learned to grow together.

[Anonymous]

Successful = rich;

fit and healthy=over 6' tall; attractive as a male model.

Congratulations - you and 80% of women are all looking for the same things. Only 20% of men meet your criteria, which means that 60% of women will be disappointed but will still refuse to compromise.

[Alyssa11]

Well I am 5”7... nah I’m joking loool

[Twalli]

Actually the only thing that I don't typically do is have a relationship with God. It's not that I don't believe in him, it's more that I don't support organized prayer or believe in monotheism. I am not currently in good shape. I want to get there and have begun to do so, but I am not there yet. I used to be kn better shape, but lockdown and quarantine make that hard. I have to be motivated enough at home and it was easier when I left home to work out.

[Alyssa11]

Honestly same here! I’ve lost so many of my gains and weight throughout this lockdown. Super insecure about my body at the moment. But hopefully things open up soon and we can start working out again!

[pikuroy]

Good list...

But before you could discover these qualities in him, you would be bored.

A good masculine man never frontloads his qualities. You will need sharp attention to notice these in him.

But attention and excitement go opposite ways. People get bored because nothing can hold their attention!

[Daniel_Dano]

Wow such beautiful mytake, i was happy to see myself having all of these traits except one haha 🤣 .

For my future wife I dont mind if she isn't very beautiful and also dont mind if she isn't successful, but I want her to believe in God, I want her to make me feel loved and has desire in me , I want a woman who welcomes me warmly when I come back from work.

[Alyssa11]

That's lovely :)

[Tuna陶拿恆]

It's nice to see someone wanting these traits. The only thing I don't have is 3 and 2 (I don't believe but talking about religions whether it's true or not will make us achieve anything. I don't need to think about it.)
For 2, I am still a student, it needs time.

[AzzaBlue]

1. I agree with pretty much everything that you stated, though personally I am on the fence on whether or not I believe God actually exists.
2. Having any kind of standards are fine as long as you hold yourself to said standards, which it sounds like that you do.
Unfortunately, there appears to be a lot of women out there (and men too I'm sure) who have ridiculous and unreasonable standards.

[HiveBee]

Can we just replace the relationship with god to a relationship with Lucifer, dark bringer of light, giver of eternal sight, wisdom bringer, who bestows upon us his infernal blessings of the inner divine flame?

Otherwise I mean we're a perfect match!

;p

[Alyssa11]

Looool *Alyssa has left the chat*

[Anonymous]

THIS. THIS is what I also want. But because I met someone online who I really like, he's the complete opposite of this (some of it). Of course, I know if God has different plans, I'll know. :) Right now, I'm happy.

[Alyssa11]

I’m happy for you! :)

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you!

[Pummel]

Oh my gosh If I still wanted to date your #3 would be all I would see about you... How beautiful #3 is, my eyes are filling up with salty water, Alyssa11there is a man out there for you... May I ask you a couple of questions? if so:
Q= Why didn't you put #3 at #1?

Q= Do you have a relationship with the God of Abraham and His Son Christ?
Q= Do you know what the 10 commandments are of the God of Abraham?