I Told My Friend I Have Feelings For Him and This Is How It Went...

Anonymous
I Told My Friend I Have Feelings For Him and This Is How It Went...

Last night, I finally called my friend and told him that I had feelings for him, despite the fact that he likes another girl. Before I get into the conversation, let me start from when I first started to develop feelings for him...

So we've known each other since this summer and we pretty much became friends over the summer. Now despite me not being attracted to him physically really, over a month ago, I began to develop some type of feelings towards him. Then I met my crush and those feelings went away. But during the time I was talking to my crush, I had a one on one conversation with my friend. We were talking and talking without knowing that 30 minutes had passed. Although we had things to do and we came to know that we were talking away, we talked for a little bit more. I really enjoyed talking with him and being around him. This is when my feelings for him slowly started to come back.

So over 2 weeks ago, I became jealous of this one girl who seemed to gravitate toward the friend that I liked. But after having a real conversation with her last week, in less than an hour, we pretty much became instant friends. While setting up for a party, I instantly knew that she'll gravitate towards him. And I was right. At first I liked seeing him and her make acquaintances with each other. Then not long after that, I became jealous. I realized that I was becoming jealous when she was around him. I recognized that I started to feel possessive over him. I knew the way I was feeling was wrong and I was overreacting, but I couldn't help it.

After finding out that she has a boyfriend and that he doesn't like her in that way, I felt much better ☺ But after he got my number last Wednesday, he texted me telling me that he has a crush on a girl, who we both knew, and that he wanted to ask her out. I was shocked at first, but wa more than willing to help him get the girl. The next day while playing a game with my friend and others, his crush joins in on the fun. You can tell how nervous he was. I was poking fun at him and dropping hints throughout the game.

After talking to another friend about his crush, he began to question my feelings for him. I kept denying it and telling him that I only saw him as a friend. But he wasn't buying it.

So the weekend comes and everyday since, all I could really think about was my friend and how I felt about him. Although I've been supportive of him and helping him get to his crush, I was struggling with my feelings for him.

Getting into the conversation, he called me this past Saturday, after I texted him to get back to me, I told him that I had a friend who liked (had feelings for) her friend, but that her friend like someone else. And basically asking him what my friend should do in this situation. He knew I was being vague and had a hint. But he basically told me that my friend should tell her friend how they felt and that regardless if he said no, that it shouldn't change their friendship if they're mature.

So although I was planning on telling him this coming week, I'm during our texting conversation, I decided to call him. So I did. He picked up and I instantly told him that it was me. And knew that it was me, since I was referring to myself as a friend, obviously lol 😆 But I explained to him that I developed feelings for him about a month ago and that I didn't know how to tell him, since he likes another girl. I mentioned that I didn't find him attractive in that way, but that how he was just attracted me. I further went to explain how I originally didn't want to tell him, especially over the phone, because I know how he felt about the girl he likes and how I didn't want to complicate things. I told him that I wasn't asking him out, but that I was just telling him how I felt.

He then explained that he understood and knew that I felt that way, but that we just wouldn't work out as a couple. He further went to mention how our personalities just weren't compatible. I know how I am and I know how he is. Although I do feel a connection, I do feel like something is missing. But basically, he was saying that it just wouldn't work out. He also mentioned that it wouldn't affect our relationship, which I hope it doesn't in the long run.

Although it turned out the way that I knew it would, I didn't get my hopes up, which saved me from further heartache and disappointment. I'm hoping that I'll be able to accept my feelings and be able to deal with them, knowing that what could've possibly been would never be. But to continue on in our loving friendship ❤ I'm also hoping that the next person who I will be attracted to will be attracted to and give us a chance 🙏🏽

I Told My Friend I Have Feelings For Him and This Is How It Went...
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Most Helpful Girls

  • little_bird1
    Very dangerous territory, I'd probably end the friendship. Not saying that it will happen to you, but from my own experience things like this never end up good. Sure, we say we stay friends and we do for some time, then what usually happened to me in the past is that the so called 'friend' starts seeing me as an option for when he's lonely, horny or just needs an ego stroke when no one else wants him. And if I'm attracted to him already and we're good friends (means I like his personality too) then I'd never get over him and would just fool myself with 'we're just friends'. I'd compare other guys to him and would always be questioning why he rejected me if we're so good? Then it'd probably come down to my looks which would just make me insecure and jealous of his girlfriends, comparing myself to them.

    It's a totally different story if you've been close friends for many years, but you've met this guy not long time ago, so I just don't see a point in sticking around.

    I made a similar mistake with my 'best friend' when we first met; he rejected me because he liked another girl and we stayed friends. Given, we really were great friends for couple of years after that, but deep down I knew that I always saw something more in him, he was special, he wasn't like my best female friend, you know? What happened is that one night we were fooling around at m place and one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. To him, I guess it was just a curiosity, but for me I knew there were lingering feelings burred deep from long time ago. Sex was so awkward and we didn't speak for a month after that. Then he moved away to another country for couple of years, met a girl there and came back with her. But he never wanted to introduce us, he never told her anything about me, she had no idea we kept the communication going all the time. Whenever he'd feel bored or neglected from here he'd text me something flirty or would start 'joking' about that night we had sex. Then the girl cheated on him and he got drunk and sad and came over my place and tried to get with me. He was such a mess for such a long time, but he didn't leave my side and I was there for him. We would even kiss sometimes. He would say from time to time how he regrets rejecting me back then and how if he'd ever marry I'd me. Of course my feelings returned and I thought maybe it's our time now... until he met another girl and married her few months later. The saddest part about it is that he is still lingering around me, in case id doesn't work out with his new wife. He keeps saying how he loves her but that he is not in love with her and not that attracted to her... like to me. His words. Just a whole lot of drama that could've been avoided if I just cut him off 10 years ago when he first rejected me.

    He is not the only example of 'just friends' I had in my life, but thanks to him I learned to end it sooner.

    I just don't believe in being friends after breakup or rejection. Acquaintances sure, but friends no.
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  • Amy10223
    Well, first of all, give yourself a pat on the back that you were brave enough to tell him this. Another point goes to you for hoping to accept your feelings and deal with them, with the hopes of finding someone who is perfect for you. I would not have the courage to do that. In face, I do have a "crush" on someone I could never tell that to, because I believe he is already married. Some things point to the fact that this may not be true--but I am very shy and I think he is too, I dont know. We really don't know one another that well.
    I hope that you are able to find someone for yourself in the crowd that you hang out with, and that he feels the same way. You're young and have your whole life ahead of you, and so I wouldn't worry to much about this now--and think about your studies if you are a student--and remember that when you least expect it, love will come around.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Anonymous
    Nothing like teenage drama, is there?

    Good on you for at least taking some action. Your friend sounds like he was smart enough to realise that it wouldn't work out. It's very possible to be attracted to someone and love them as a friend and that's as far as it goes.
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    • Anonymous

      I'm no teenager.

  • exitseven
    It sounds like you have a good handle on this. Nobody got hurt and nobody got in a fight. Having friends of the opposite sex can be confusing sometimes, you are fortunate to have this conversation with him and can still continue this friendship.
    Like 2 People
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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • silvermoon84
    Good for you for telling him, and thank you for sharing. I had a similar situation except it was a friend that I had romantic history with years ago and my feelings came back. I asked him hypothetically if I should tell a guy that I had feelings for him, the guy has a hard time sharing feelings and he told me “tell him. It might help him share his feelings”, which I naively thought was a hint (wishful thinking). So about a week later I told him, he answered that while things did happen in the past we’re in different places both physically and otherwise and he had a feeling that I was going to tell him it was him. He saw me as a good friend but that’s it. He didn’t see us as compatible due to me being more traditional as far as relationships are concerned and him not being traditional, then told me he was “kinda talking to someone but that’s it” (I thought he could have done without the last part. He said it wasn’t that serious but honestly, in my opinion if he’s mentioning it, either it’s serious or he wants it to be. That hurt more than the rejection). I told him that I’ve always loved him and always will, even if he’s nothing more than a friend.
    I’m sharing this to let you know you’re not alone, I’m going through the same thing but I don’t regret telling him and you shouldn’t regret telling your guy either. Good luck and stay strong. If you need someone to talk about it with you, pm me.
    Like 1 Person
  • AviatorTom
    It's almost always the best thing to do to be honest and open with someone... tell them how you feel. They may return the feelings, be totally indifferent, or overtly negative. Regardless, you learn if there might be a relationship or not so that you can decide where your life is going.

    Good on you, girl. Best of luck finding the right guy for you.

    Kudos also to the guy, for honestly telling you how he feels.
  • Shamiah02
    ❣❣❣big hugs, sis. I'm hear for ya if you need to vent 🥺
    Like 1 Person
    • Anonymous

      Thanks girl! Just texted him that I need time away from him to get my feelings in control and that ichope the best for him and the girl he likes.

    • Shamiah02

      Aww, i understand how you feel.🤗

    • Anonymous

      I know you sister girl 😊

  • Relux47
    I have somewhat have a similar story to that “liking another girl” the wrong girl. All I can do is just wait now
  • Andres77
    I hope you find what you need.
    Like 1 Person
    • Anonymous

      I hope so to 🙏🏽

  • Anonymous
    *clap clap clap*

    hats off to you. You did what most women could not. I respect that.
    Best of luck on the next one.
    Like 1 Person
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